TwoWay Mirrors
by Lady Taliesin
Summary: The Marauder's year one at Hogwarts, involving a few rather, erm, peculiar incidents “You turned Snape into a, into a worm?” including...now, did you really think I'd tell you? :P Please R&R! ::ON INDEFINATE HIATUS::
1. Prologue

_A/N_ - Well, first off, hello and thanks for at least starting my fic. As you've probably already guessed from the (admittedly bad) summary, this is a fan fiction tale of our four favorite Marauders - Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter - in their first year at Hogwarts. And it is a humor fic. If you are a dour, pessimistic person who shuns the thought of anything light-hearted, then I am sorry to say that this fic is not for you. As for the rest of you more cheerful people....

Yes, the prologue and first five or so chapters are (in my opinion) pretty bad. And yes, it is a rather long story - it'll probably be between 28 and 35 chapters when I'm done. But I promise it's interesting. And funny. It's about the Marauders, after all.

Disclaimer - J.K. Rowling owns everything you recognize.

Enjoy!

* * *

Prologue

Sirius glanced around the room, already feeling extremely bored and rather ill-tempered. Every time his parents went to a Ministry of Magic dinner he went too - rather than allow their eldest son to be exposed to the possibly corrupting influence of a babysitter, the Blacks dragged him along to every single one of the numerous parties they attended, which were often several hours long.

"Sirius!" his mother said sharply – he turned slowly to look at her, his long black hair falling casually across his face, which was already handsome, though he was only eight years old.

"Yes?" he asked, trying (unsuccessfully) to keep his boredom out of his voice.

"You are to _behave_ this evening!" she said harshly - she looked like an oversized vulture in a hideous black evening dress, which smelled suspiciously of mothballs. "You are to talk to _no one_ other than those your father and I have told you – ignore everyone else. I will come and get you when we are ready to leave." Turning sharply on her heel, she stalked off to find Sirius' father, leaving her son staring glumly in her wake.

"Right." said Sirius bitterly, brushing a strand of dark hair out of his eyes. "Right. Well, I'll just go off and be antisocial then, keep up the good Black name...." Sighing, he walked over to the refreshments table, already dreading the evening before him, while, unbeknownst to him, a small, tousle-haired, hazel-eyed boy slipped away from his parents and went to join him.

"Hello!" said a roguish voice right by Sirius' ear. He jumped and spun around quickly – a short boy about his own age with untidy black hair and mischievous hazel eyes was standing beside him, grinning.

"Hello...," said Sirius uncertainly. The boy laughed.

"Your parents bring you to this party too?" he asked, pulling sadly on his crimson dress robes. "World's biggest bore, I swear....Anyway, my name's James Potter. You?"

"Sirius Black."

"Pleased to meet you." said James politely - then, eyes twinkling, he asked "Do you wanna go explore?"

Sirius hesitated a moment, an image of his mother telling him to talk to no one coming unbidden to his mind, but a sudden feeling of recklessness shot over him, and before he knew what he was doing he agreed.

"Excellent!" said James excitedly. "I've never explored the Ministry of Magic before! Well, sort of," he amended as an afterthought. "Once Mum brought me to the Auror headquarters and I looked around there but there wasn't anything too interesting. I wanna go to the Department of _Mysteries_, there's supposed to be lots of cool stuff there, but nobody talks about it a lot, I don't know why. Anyway, ready to go?"

He said all of this very fast and Sirius, who had been ready for the past two minutes, nodded. "Right, well, off we go then!" said James enthusiastically. He skipped away from the table and into the milling crowd, Sirius tagging along behind him.

"Um, James?" Sirius asked apprehensively, staring at a large tub full of floating brains. "I'm not entirely sure we're supposed to be here."

"Course we're not," said James dismissively, trying to juggle four sneakoscopes while standing on one foot. "Darn, dropped one....Oops, make that two...," Sirius rolled his eyes and walked over to a small shelf, on which were placed to old, extremely dusty mirrors.

"Hey James!" he called, standing on tiptoe to get a better look at them. "Come look!" James walked over, still clutching a broken sneakoscope in one hand.

"Just two rusty old mirrors," he said, sounding slightly disappointed. Sirius shook his head, staring hard at the shelf.

"No, I don't think so...," he said thoughtfully. Something at the end of the shelf caught his eyes – grabbing a nearby stool, he clambered onto it and picked up a small, badly smudged and torn card, which was so covered in dust it was hardly readable. Brushing it off impatiently, he read the following words:

**Two-Way Mirrors**

_To use hold mirror up to face and_

_say the other bearer's name - _

_bearer of the other mirror will hear_

_and correspondence will ensue._

Although he couldn't understand what some of the larger words meant, Sirius got the general idea. "Excellent!" he said excitedly, snatching up the mirrors and handing one to James, who looked confused.

"Um, this does what, exactly?"

"You say my name into _that_ mirror," Sirius said impatiently, brandishing the card under James' nose, "And your face pops up in _this_ mirror, and we can talk to each other! Come on, let's try it now - go over there, behind that cabinet, and say 'Sirius Black' into the mirror."

James looked slightly skeptical but obediently trotted off. A few seconds later Sirius could hear his name being whispered - looking into the mirror, he saw James' face reflected up at him, looking excited. "This is SO cool!!!" James said fervently. "I can see your face in the mirror, and you can probably see mine...this is weird...."

Sirius could have laughed out loud. Imagine the look on his parents' faces....And speaking of which...."D'you know what time it is?" he asked suddenly.

He saw James shrug nonchalantly. "No idea - look around, there's bound to be a clock somewhere."

There was one, on the opposite wall – with a horrible, sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach Sirius saw it was ten 'til twelve – the party ended at midnight.

"It's 11:50," he said, mouth dry. "We have less than ten minutes to get back to the main hall....C'mon." Throwing the mirror in his front pocket, he waited for James, and then hurried towards the door.

"Where have you been?" Mrs. Black snapped, eyeing her son furiously. "The party ended five minutes ago, we've been looking for you all over...." Sirius wasn't paying attention; he was too busy watching James being gently scolded by his parents. James, noticing Sirius, grinned and patted his front pocket. Sirius smiled slightly to show he understood before reverting his attention back to his mother, who was now fuming about his "deranged appearance."

"...looking like some little brat mudblood. Where were you this evening?"

He grinned impishly. "Oh, just...out and about." She sniffed disapprovingly.

"And did you talk to anyone you weren't supposed to?"

"Now Mother," Sirius said, watching as James disappeared through the elevator shaft with his parents. "Why would I do something like that?"

* * *

Hardly the most intriguing and profound chapter ever written, but hopefully it caught your intrest. I promise things will get more interesting. Especially right before the Sorting. And at the first Quidditch Match. And the day after Halloween. And....But I digress. I hope you found this chapter decent enough to 1) keep reading and 2) leave a (nice!) review. I don't particularly like flames, since most of them tend to be insulting, base, and vulgar, but if you can come up with a particularly creative one without any obscenties then feel free! What would be even more appreciated, though, is constructive criticism. I LOVE constructive criticism, but no one seems to want to give me any. Sigh. Oh well - I suppose I shall have to deal with it. 

Anyways, keep reading, tell me what you think, and, for now, bye!


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N_ - Hello everyone : ) Although I have rather a fondness of leaving long author's notes I'll keep this one brief, since I know they can become rather annoying.

Disclaimer - JK Rowling owns everything you recognize.

Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Chapter 1 

"James Potter," Sirius whispered, his breath fogging the surface of the glass. "Hullo, James Potter…." A face appeared in the mirror, blinking sleepily.

"What is it, Sirius?" James yawned. "It had better be good if you're getting me up at 2:00 in the morning." His best friend laughed.

"Sorry mate – Mum was on my back all day today, I only just got rid of her ten minutes ago. Anyway, I wanted to ask you what time you are going to be at the station tomorrow."

"Um, I think we're leaving at 10:15, so we'll probably get there at 10:30." said James, looking confused. "Why?"

Sirius grinned. "I think it's time you met my parents."

"Bye Mum!" Sirius said energetically, sticking out his hand. Mrs. Black glowered.

"You watch your attitude, boy." she said menacingly. "Now, on no grounds whatsoever are you to fraternize with any one from another house, especially Gryffindor. Listen and obey Bellatrix and Narcissa, and send an owl as soon as you get there, so we can be sure you're in – "

"Hello ma'am!" said a voice cheerfully from somewhere behind Sirius. Turning, he saw it was James, who had walked away from his parents to join Sirius, who grinned. Mrs. Black looked seriously affronted.

"And who, may I ask, are you?" she said, a sneer playing around the edge of her mouth.

"James Potter." he replied promptly, offering her his hand. She didn't take it.

"As I was saying – " she continued, turning towards Sirius, but she stopped abruptly as she saw James sling his arm comradely over Sirius' shoulders.

"Just came by to make sure Sirius and I get seats together on the train." he said, grinning cheekily up at her. "Friends stick together, you know. Anyway, don't mind me, please continue with what you were saying."

Sirius almost doubled over with laughter as he watched her tiny eyes dilate with anger. Breathing heavily, she glared at James and Sirius once more before turning and striding over to where Bellatrix and Narcissa Black, Sirius' cousins, stood with their mother. "Nasty old bat, isn't she?" James asked, laughing as he waved energetically at her.

"Yep." Sirius chortled. "C'mon, let's go find a compartment - the train's going to leave in five minutes."

"No, wait – you still have to meet my Mum and Dad." said James, dragging Sirius off to where his parents stood.

"James, what – oh, hello, Mrs. Potter, Mr. Potter…."

"Hello," said Mrs. Potter good-naturedly, smiling at him and her son. "How are you?"

"I'm fine…," he said awkwardly. _My parents are never this nice…._ he thought, slightly unsettled. Mrs. Potter smiled at him again.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to meet your mother – that was her over there, wasn't it? I hope James didn't scare her off….He can be rather a bother sometimes, I'm afraid." She sighed self-deprecatingly. "Anyway, enjoy your first term at Hogwarts, both of you! Good-bye!" She kissed James on the cheek before letting them dash off to the train, which was about to leave.

"Look, this one's almost empty," James said, stopping suddenly and pointing. Sirius looked in. There seemed to be only one occupant here, a boy who looked to be about their age. He had light brown hair and gray eyes, and had a rather thin, peaky look about him. He was staring out the window, watching almost apprehensively as the hills, lakes, and valleys passed by.

He glanced up as they came in and smiled shyly. "Hello," he said, moving over slightly to make room for them. "Are you new at Hogwarts too?"

"Yep," said James, standing on a seat to push his trunk onto the luggage rack. "Here Sirius, I'll put yours up too…. I'm James Potter, by the way. And this is my friend, Sirius Black."

"My name's Remus Lupin." he said, watching amusedly as James tried to shove Sirius' trunk onto the luggage rack. "Er, do you need help with that?"

"No, I think I got - oh, damn!" As he gave a final shove at Sirius' trunk he had pushed his own off the rack, causing it to fall heavily and noisily to the floor and spill its contents everywhere. Sirius laughed and Remus grinned.

"D'you need help?" he asked, looking sympathetic but highly amused.

"Yeah, thanks." James said, eyeing his trunk disgustedly. "The stupid thing always breaks – you know, you could help too, Sirius."

"Could." said Sirius, shrugging, then laughing as James kicked him. "Alright, alright, I'll help, even though it was you that broke it in the first place….What do you two want?" His two cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa Black, had just entered the compartment, their wands held like swords before them. Sirius, James, and Remus stood up, all three looking wary.

"Your mother told us you were to stay with us for the train ride, and after you're sorted." Bellatrix said silkily. "Doesn't want your new, ah, _friendships_ to jeopardize your chances of getting into Slytherin, though I must say it's rather late for that now…." Sirius let out a short, bark-like laugh.

"Well, that's lucky than, isn't it?" he said, still eyeing Bellatrix' wand, which was pointed straight at him, apprehensively. "Because, now I think about it, I really don't think Slytherin is the house for me. I mean, the whole obsession with snakes is just a little too bizarre…and then of course, there's the fact the fact that you and Narc are in it…."

Bellatrix sneered at him. "Quite the little rebel, aren't you?" she said softly, raising her right arm slowly.

"Yep, that's me!" said Sirius, trying to sound cheerful. "Well, now this little family chat is over, could you leave?"

They both laughed. "You know, I think we'll stay." Narcissa said, her wand pointed straight at James, who gulped. "I mean Sirius, we haven't even gotten to meet your friends yet…."

Narcissa and Bellatrix both raised their wands and opened their mouths, but before they could cast a spell James, Sirius, and Remus had whipped out their own wands. "Expelliarmus!" bellowed James, while Sirius shouted "Callidius!" and Remus yelled "Verruca!" A jet of red light shot out of James' wand and hit Narcissa in the chest – her wand flew from her hand and he caught it triumphantly. Meanwhile, Sirius' spell, which was a blinding shade of yellow, and Remus' hex, a deep midnight blue, hit Bellatrix. With a shrill scream she dropped her wand, as though it were burning hot, then gasped in horror as huge warts erupted all over her hands. Grinning, Sirius darted forward and grabbed her wand, then stepped back quickly to join his friends.

Bellatrix and Narcissa glared at them – they seemed to be furious at being defeated by three eleven year old wizards who had never had any formal training before in their lives.

"Give – me – back – my – wand." said Bellatrix through gritted teeth. "And – take – these – awful – things – off." She gestured towards the warts.

"Hmm, let me think," said James, grinning. "Um, no. Unless, of course, you promise to leave us alone. Then maybe we'll give them back to you. Agree?"

"Fine." glowered Narcissa, holding out her hand for her wand.

"Can I trust you?" asked James, raising an eyebrow. She looked affronted.

"Of course you can, I'm a _Black_." she said imperiously. "I keep my word, even if it's to some snot-nosed toe rags like yourselves. Now, give it here." James looked at Sirius, who nodded.

"Fine." he said, tossing Narcissa back her wand – his aim was excellent. Bellatrix snatched her wand away from Sirius, and, breathing heavily, the pair of them turned and strode out of the compartment, slamming the door behind them.

"That was brilliant!" Sirius said hoarsely, collapsing onto a nearby seat – James and Remus followed suit. "How'd you two learn to do that?"

James shrugged. "When my dad wasn't looking I took a few of his auror books and memorized some spells."

"Yeah, I looked in a few spell books too." said Remus. "I practiced a few also, before I got my letter. You, Sirius?"

He laughed. "Mum taught me, before she realized I was a 'mudblood conspirator who would never amount to anything.' I learned Callidius when I was seven. I've never seen 'Verruca' before, though – interesting effect, I must say." Remus grinned, unabashed.

"Yeah, that's one of my favorites. Not that I use it too much," he amended hastily. "I mean, once we get to Hogwarts we obviously can't go around hexing people just for the fun of it."

"Says who?" said James indignantly. "I am personally going to curse those cousins of yours, Sirius, as soon as we get there. They were trying to attack us unprovoked! We were just innocent first years who had no idea how to cast a proper spell – " Sirius snorted. "Ok, _shouldn't_ have had any idea how to cast a proper spell, and they attack us! And that group of people at the station – did you see them? Evil looking – Slytherins, the lot of them."

"Do you know what house you're going to be in?" asked Remus, changing the subject. "I hope I'm in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, they seem the best of the four."

"By far." James said, jumping up as a thin, freckly lady pushing a cart laden with sweets passed by their compartment. "Wait a minute…er, yes, I'll have ten of those, and ten of those, and fifteen of these here…."

"Anyway," he resumed, dumping an armload of sweets onto an empty chair, "Gryffindor is the best, that's where all of the brave people go, see – and then Ravenclaw, for the smart people, Hufflepuff for the loyal and honest, and then of course Slytherin for all of the evil little gits. My whole family's been in Gryffindor, so I hope I will be too."

Sirius didn't say anything – his entire family had been in Slytherin and just now he wasn't sure whether a three and a half year friendship could offset decades of tradition.

"You'll be alright." said James confidently, noticing his friend's bleak expression. "Ok, your family's a bunch of idiots, but still, you're brave, right? I mean, remember that time at Diagon Alley when we got both our families to go on the same day, then ran off and met outside Gringotts, jumped two goblins, stole their clothes, and dressed up like them, then went down on the carts to try and kidnap a dragon?"

Sirius laughed. "Remember the look on that passenger's face when he found he was being conducted by two ten year old kids? What was his name again?"

"Cornelius Fudge, I think. Little short guy with a green hat."

"Right, right – Corny Fudge."

"How did you get back out of the tunnels?" asked Remus skeptically. "They're supposed to be near impossible to navigate."

"Well, the original plan was to ride the dragon out." said James, grinning reminiscently. "But once we finally found a dragon Corny started going berserk, so we decided to be charitable souls and leave."

"No, you steered the cart into a stalagmite and one of the wheels broke off." corrected Sirius. "We started careening down the track, Corny was screaming and was about to pitch you out of the cart, and then we hit the dragon."

"Ah, so it was." said James, nodding solemnly, though his eyes were twinkling. "Then, if I remember correctly, we all climbed onto the dragon before she breathed fire on it and made it tumble into a huge chasm. Then you wondered what would happen if you poked her in the eye. She went absolutely insane – started flying around the cavern, breathing fire everywhere – and we passed over a cart steered by a real goblin."

"So," said Sirius, picking up the story, "We jumped off and pulled Corny with us – I think he had fainted by then. Anyway, the goblin drove everybody back up to the main building. When we got there we took off before anybody could catch us and found a bathroom where we could take off the smelly goblin clothes. Then we strolled out of the building (which was in utter chaos, as there was a mad dragon on the loose) and went off to find our parents. All in all a rather interesting day, was it not James?"

"Yep," he said, laughing. "So it was."

* * *

_A/N_ - Alright - let me first say that this was probably one of my worst chapters, and I promise the story gets better. Secondly...

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! You have **_no_** idea how much I'd appreciate it.

Alright - I think that's all I have to say. Bye! : )


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N_ - Hello (again)! First off, I'd like to thank _EternalShadow_ for being my first reviewer EVER - I'm forever indebted to you : ) Secondly, I just want to tell everyone that, personally, I like this chapter _**much** _better than the previous two. It introduces Sniv - er, Snape, Peter, and Lily! Yay!

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns everything you recognize.

Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Chapter 2

Clutching his wand tightly, Sirius stared hopelessly around, trying vainly to catch a glimpse of James through the crowd. In all of the commotion of the students disembarking from the train they had become separated – as he still felt nervous about the upcoming sorting, he wasn't particularly keen on traveling the boats with complete strangers.

At last, giving up, he strode over towards the last empty boat, where he was soon joined by a short, fat boy with small watery eyes and a sallow-faced, hook-nosed boy with a sneer playing around the edge of his mouth.

"H-hello…," said the fat boy nervously, glancing around and blinking. "M-my name is Peter Pettigrew, pleased to, to meet you…."

"Likewise," said Sirius, fidgeting slightly on the hard wooden board which served as a seat. The boats set off across the lake, moving swiftly despite the fact that there was nobody rowing.

The sallow-faced boy was now staring at Sirius, who frowned. "And you are?" he asked coldly.

"Snape. Severus Snape." he said, smirking. "You are Sirius Black?"

"Yes…," said Sirius, slightly disconcerted that this boy knew his name. "How'd you – "

"Know?" said Snape, his smirk growing wider. "Everyone _knows_ that the eldest Black son is coming to Hogwarts. Well, everybody of any standing, anyway." His gaze rested on Peter for a moment before reverting to Sirius. The boats passed under a curtain of ivy and into a stone tunnel – about twenty feet ahead was a landing platform. "I'll see you in Slytherin after the sorting." said Snape, sticking out his hand for Sirius to shake. Sirius didn't take it.

"I'm not going to be in Slytherin." he said defiantly, staring at Snape with increasing dislike.

Snape let out a low, silky laugh. "All of the Blacks have been in Slytherin, fool – everyone knows it."

"I'm going to be in Gryffindor." said Sirius proudly, clambering out of the boat as it pulled alongside the landing. Snape followed him, still laughing.

"As I said, I'll see you after the Sorting. Farewell." Turning sharply, he strode off towards a large staircase, robes billowing. Sirius glared at his retreating back and didn't notice that Peter had climbed out of the boat and now stood beside him.

"That was SO cool!" said Peter excitedly, drawing Sirius back to reality. "You really told him off back there….Do you really think you'll be in Gryffindor?"

"I'd better be," said Sirius angrily, pushing his long hair away from his face, "Because I could not **stand** it if he was right. Look, Peter, I have to go, my friend – James!" He had just spotted his friend exiting on of the far boats, accompanied by Remus and a slender girl with thick auburn hair and bright emerald green eyes.

Spotting Sirius, James waved and hurried over, followed by Remus and the girl, who didn't seem to want to be left behind. "Hey!" said James excitedly – his smile faded as he saw the look on Sirius' face. "What's up, mate?" he asked, concerned. Sirius told him quickly about Snape and their conversation on the boat.

"Git." said James angrily. "Don't listen to him – you're going to be in Gryffindor, no problem. Anyway, this is Lily Evans – she became our third boat mate when you disappeared."

"Hi," said Lily, not looking at him – she was too busy staring at the stone tunnel, which was lit by flickering torchlight and glittered oddly. "Wow, this is amazing….Well, nice meeting you all…." She smiled briefly at them before turning and dashing off to examine some other part of the tunnel. James sighed.

"She's really nice, you know. Muggle-born and all, never heard of Hogwarts before she got her letter." he said, gazing after her. Sirius sniggered. "Oh, shut up." he said, face going slightly red. "Just because I got a girl on my boat and you didn't….Who's your new friend, by the way?" Pettigrew stepped forward from behind Sirius, where he had been trying his best to appear inconspicuous.

"H-hello…," he stuttered, eyes darting around nervously. "I'm Peter Pettigrew…." Two doors opened at the top of the staircase – a tall, stern-looking woman with square spectacles stood there, her grey hair pinned in a severe bun, her sharp eyes glancing around the room. All of the students fell suddenly silent, waiting for her to speak.

"Follow me." she said shortly. Turning sharply, she strode out of the doorway and down a large, statue-lined hall, the students following her obediently.

"James Potter." James muttered to Peter, who still looked frightened. "And this is Remus Lupin." Remus smiled.

"Hello…." said Peter again. The line of students halted suddenly – they had reached a set of massive, carven wooden doors, the entrance to the Great Hall.

"Hey James," said Sirius abruptly, craning his neck to look at a tiny side door to the right of the entrance, "What do you reckon's in there?"  
"Dunno." said James, standing on tiptoe to see what Sirius was talking about. On the door there was a small carven symbol, as of two circles intertwined, and below that was hung a small wooden sign, which read:

**_Danger - do not enter_**

James and Sirius both grinned.

"Well, pleasure meeting you both." said Sirius briskly, setting off towards the door.

"Yeah," added James. "See you after the sorting." After grinning once more at Remus and Peter he followed after Sirius, leaving two very apprehensive friends behind.

"Look at this," whispered Sirius, running his hand over a half covered, smooth metal device. "This must be what the room's for – look, there are even instructions on how to use it…excellent…." James hurried over, abandoning the corner where he had been searching vainly for whatever it was in the room that was so dangerous.

"What is it?" he murmured, careful to keep his voice low so no one outside the door could hear.

"Dunno, some kind of podium thing, it feels like….Look, this says 'Mensflectere - to use: uncover, place partners in opposite chairs, and say _Res Novae_ – (really big smudge here, can't read it, sorry) – _Defugere_.' Hmn. Wanna try?"

"Sure." James shrugged. "We have to take this blanket thing off first though….And we should probably be quick about it, sounds like everyone's in the Hall…." Yanking hard on the cover, the boys pulled it off to reveal a huge, circular platform at least twenty feet in diameter, on top of which were two old leather armchairs, which were directly opposite each other.

"Right," said Sirius, consulting the slip of parchment the instructions were written on. "Now, we sit on the armchairs.…I'll take the one on the right, you can have the other." Clambering onto the dais, Sirius and James climbed onto the armchairs, moving as quickly as possible, because they could already hear a singing voice coming through the Hall – the Sorting was about to start.

"Ok," said Sirius, squinting to read the tiny, flowing script on the parchment. "Well, the next thing we do is say _Res Novae _at the same time. On the count of three, then – one, two…three!"

"_Res Novae_!" said James and Sirius simultaneously. There was a sudden flash of blinding white light, followed by a slight tremor.

Blinking, Sirius involuntarily raised his hand to brush away his long, straight hair, only to find it seemed to have disappeared….Raising his hand higher, he found it had not vanished but had shrunken and seemed to be sticking up all over the place. A feeling of panic rising up within him, he felt around his eyes and found he was wearing glasses; round glasses, exactly like the ones James wore….Lowering his hands, he gazed in horror at the chair opposite him.

"James," he said, his voice several octaves higher than usual, "I don't think this was such a brilliant idea after all…."

* * *

_A/N_ - Er, I probably should have mentioned this before...I love leaving cliffies. Not that it really matters with this chapter, since the next one is already posted, but Chapter 21...er, never mind.

Hope you liked it, and if you did, PLEASE keep reading and review! I'd **_really_** appreciate it.

Bye!


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N_ - Hey everyone! This is (obviously) the third chapter in TwoWay Mirrors - and, by the by, the title "TwoWay Mirrors" is that simply becasue I am an uncreative (is that a word...?) person when it comes to writing titles/summaries. Thus, beyond the prologue, the title has little to do with the story.

Alright - first off, I'd just like to say that this chapter is sometimes a little confusing. At the authors note at the bottom I provided a little key to help figure out who's who. I'd also like to say that, rereading all of these old chapters, is proving to be rather an embarrassing, if nostagalic, trip. I promise you the chapters get better - honest, they do!

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns everything you recognize (and since I'm getting tired of writing this, this disclaimer goes for all chapters previous and following).

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 3

"Sirius?" gasped James, jumping to his feet. "Sirius, what, what just happened...?"

"We must have switched bodies," said Sirius, groaning. "I'm in your body and you're in mine...oh, this is just great. Now I'm short, and I have to wear glasses...." James looked up, affronted.

"What do you mean, _short_?" he said indignantly, pushing a strand of black hair away from his face. "God, your hair falls everywhere...." Sirius laughed but was drowned out by a sudden, thunderous burst of applause coming from the Great Hall.

Sirius and James stared at each other, horror-stricken. "The Sorting!" gasped Sirius, terrified. "I can't be sorted looking like you!"

"We could pretend to be each other," suggested James. Sirius stared at him disbelievingly.

"Are you mad? What if I get put in Slytherin like everybody else in my family - once we finally change back you'd be stuck there too." James sighed exasperatedly.

"We've been over this before, Sirius. You are NOT going to be put in Slytherin. We're both going to be in Gryffindor, so when we change back there won't be a problem. Now, stop fussing and come on; they'll be calling _me_ up soon." He vaulted off the podium and sauntered towards the door, Sirius trailing morosely behind him.

"Black, Sirius." read Professor McGonagall, holding a large parchment scroll and standing beside a small, three-legged stool, on top of which was placed an extremely old and battered hat. Silence greeted her - none of the first years stepped forward. Clearing her voice, she said again, somewhat louder, "Black, Sirius."

The giant oak doors at the end of the hall burst open and two boys ran in, their black robes and hats askew.

One, with long black hair and dark brown eyes, grinned and said loudly "So sorry - nature called!" Many of the students in the Hall laughed - Professor McGonagall frowned disapprovingly.

"Are you Sirius Black?" she asked coolly. His companion, who had short, untidy, jet black hair and a very gloomy expression, was about to nod but stopped sharply as the first boy elbowed him in the ribs.

"Yep," said the first boy, smiling and turning to look at Professor McGonagall.

"Come up here, then." she said impatiently. He trotted up towards her and promptly sat down on the stool, grinning reassuringly at his companion. Professor McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on his head.

A few minutes passed - holding his breath, "Sirius'" companion stared fearfully up at the stool, praying desperately it would say -

"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat. Grinning broadly, "Sirius" took off the hat and walked over to the Gryffindor table amid wild applause. Sitting down, he winked at his friend, who was almost weak-kneed with relief. Smiling back, he felt a tap on his shoulder - turning around, he saw Remus and Peter standing by him, looking concerned.

"Are you alright James?" asked Remus, talking over the applause now filling the hall as "Bones, Edgar" was sorted into Hufflepuff. "You look really upset."

"I, I'm fine...," he said distractedly. Remus frowned but didn't say anything.

"What was in the room you and Sirius went into?" asked Peter curiously. He shrugged.

"Nothing, really - just some old furniture."

"Sirius seems a lot happier," pursued Remus, gazing at "James" intently.

"What? Oh yeah, s'pose he does...."

"Evans, Lily." called Professor McGonagall. Grinning, "James" watched as she stepped up, blushing slightly, to be sorted. "GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat - "James" sniggered as he watched "Sirius" clap furiously and move over to make room for her.

"What are you laughing at?" asked Remus, still determined to find out what was up.

"Sirius." he shrugged, pointing. Remus frowned.

"Wasn't he laughing at you about her earlier?"

"What?" said "James", taken aback. "Oh yeah, I guess he was...weird, isn't it?"

"James, could you please just tell me what's up?" said Remus quietly. "I can tell something's wrong."

Annoyed, Sirius ignored him and watched as "Fenjy, Bedwick." was sorted into Ravenclaw.

The Sorting passed by slowly - wishing more than anything that he and "Sirius" hadn't gone into the room with the mind-swapping machine, "James" watched as Professor McGonagall passed slowly through the list, coming at last to the L's.

"Lupin, Remus." she said, holding up the tattered old sorting hat.

"Good luck." he whispered to Remus, who looked extremely pale.

The hat took over a minute to make its decision - at last it shouted "GRYFFINDOR!", and "James" clapped enthusiastically - he did like Remus, despite the fact that he was far too perceptive.

Two minutes later Professor McGonagall reached the P's - feeling extremely apprehensive, he wished Peter luck in a dead, monotone sort of voice, and when he was sorted into Gryffindor clapped woodenly.

Then it was his turn. "Potter, James." barked Professor McGonagall. He walked slowly forward, feeling the eyes of the entire hall on him. _Please Please **Please** don't let me be in Slytherin_, he thought desperately, sitting down on the stool. _I would never be able to forgive myself - James..._

"James, eh?" said a voice in his head. He froze. "Yes, he told me about you." the voice continued. "You worry for him?"

_Yes,_ he thought hesitantly. _We, er, accidentally switched bodies...._

"And you are afraid you will be sorted into Slytherin like the rest of your family?" the hat said slyly. "Hmn - loyal, I see. And clever, exceptionally so."

_Gryffindor, **please** put me in Gryffindor, _he said silently, eyes closed. _Please...if James.... _The hat chuckled.

"Oh, very well then....GRYFFINDOR!" Hardly able to believe his ears, he opened his eyes and jumped up, grinning widely. Walking quickly over to the Gryffindor table, he collapsed into the seat next to "Sirius", who was smiling, if possible, more broadly than him.

"I told you!" he shouted, thumping him on the back. "I told you!"

"James" laughed shakily. Remus, who was sitting across from them, frowned. Noticing this, "Sirius" sighed exasperatedly and, leaning over the table, said in an undertone "We'll tell you tonight, alright?" He nodded and looked slightly more cheerful.

The rest of the Sorting passed quickly - in next to no time the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, stood up to speak. Light blue eyes twinkling behind half-moon spectacles, he raised his arms and said simply "Tuck in." Food and drink appeared magically on each of the five tables.

Suddenly starved, Peter, Remus, "James", and "Sirius" began to eat ravenously. Lily Evans, who was sitting on the right side of "Sirius", eyed them disgustedly.

"Could you eat a bit slower?" she asked "Sirius", whose mouth was so full of mashed potatoes he could hardly talk. "Honestly, that's disgusting." His face went pink.

"'Orry," he mumbled. She rolled her eyes and turned to talk to Frank Longbottom, a second year who was sitting on the other side of her.

"Your Mum'll be really pleased, won't she?" asked "Sirius", grinning. "That you made it into Gryffindor and all...,"

"Oh yeah," laughed "James". "She'll be **real** pleased, I'm sure."

"My parents will be happy." chipped in Peter, who still hadn't noticed anything wrong. "They always thought I would be in Hufflepuff."

Frank Longbottom began talking to the girl sitting across from him and Lily turned to join "Sirius", "James", Remus, and Peter in conversation.

"Sirius", who had, with difficulty, begun to eat more slowly, swallowed and said "So, where'd your parents think you'd be?"

"Well, both my parents are muggles, so they didn't know anything about Hogwarts until I got my letter." she said matter-of-factly. "But of course as soon as I found out I was a witch I bought a copy of _Hogwarts, a History_. It has loads of information on each of the Houses - Gryffindor and Ravenclaw sounded by far the best, so I hoped to be in one of those."

"Sirius" was listening to her raptly. "James" sniggered, and, still gazing at Lily, "Sirius" stepped down, hard, on his foot. He burst out laughing - disgusted, Lily turned away, leaving "Sirius" to glare at his still laughing friend.

At last the feast ended - yawning, Sirius stood up, along with James, Remus, Peter, and Lily, and followed a stern-looking prefect up many floors and flights of stairs to a large painting of a fat lady in a pink dress. "Password?" she said imperiously.

"Su Gamina." said the prefect loudly. The portrait swung open to reveal a circular hole leading to a large, comfortable-looking common room strewn with plush red chairs, ornate paintings, and old wooden tables. A large stone fireplace completely dominated one wall, while on the opposite side of the room there were two spiral staircases.

The students clambered through the opening and into the common room. The prefect pointed out which staircase led to which dormitory, and, yawning loudly, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter filed up the right-hand staircase and went through the first door, which had a small sign on it which read:

_First Year Dormitory_

James collapsed into the first bed, against whose footboard was his trunk. Remus looked at him quizzically. "Sirius?" he asked hesitantly. "Isn't that James's trunk?"

Sighing tiredly, James, or "Sirius", shook his head. "Nope." he said wearily. "It's mine. The thing you were wondering about during the feast, it's that we switched bodies." Remus and Peter gawped at them.

"So you're...." began Remus slowly.

"James, yeah." he said. "And that's Sirius. Now, if you don't mind I think I'll go to sleep." Too tired to even change out of his pajamas, he closed his eyes and fell almost instantly asleep.

* * *

_A/N_ - Hopefully not to confusing for you all, and hopefully slightly entertaining... 

**Key**: "Sirius"/James...James in Sirius' body ::: "James"/Sirius...Sirius in James' body

A million thanks to _EternalShadow_, _shadow929_, and _Celebrean_ for reviewing - I love you guys! : )

As every author of fan fic knows, reviews really do help in getting chapters out faster. So, if you like it, PLEASE review! **_PLEASE!!!!_**


	5. Chapter 4

A/N - Thank you so much for reviewing, BluePhoenixFire! Sorry I didn't update sooner, but I only just got back from a mini vacation...anyway, here's chapter 4, one of my favorites =). Hope you like it!

Chapter 4  
  
"Oi! Sirius! Wakeup!"  
Sirius mumbled unintelligibly and rolled over. Annoyed, James reached over for the pitcher of icy water on the bedside table. "Wake up or I'll dump this on you!" he threatened.  
"Go 'way." muttered Sirius, pulling the covers up over his head. Shaking his head despairingly, James ripped back the blanket and dumped the entire pitcher on his friend's head.  
"AAAHHHH!" yelled Sirius, sitting bolt upright. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF -"  
"Oh shut up." said James, grinning. "I did warn you, after all." Sirius sputtered furiously. Rolling his eyes, James continued "Anyway, I figured out how to change back!"  
"It's not even three o'clock yet!" hissed Sirius. "Can't this wait 'til morning?"  
"No! I can't pretend to be you for another day!" said James indignantly. "And besides, this dratted hair is killing me. C'mon - it'll only take fifteen minutes, I promise."  
"How're we supposed to get down there without getting caught?" Sirius asked stubbornly. "We're not allowed out of our dormitories after eight o'clock, remember?" James looked shocked.  
"Are you suggesting we actually obey the rules? Now, my dear Sirius, please be sensible...."  
"I don't mind breaking rules when I'm actually awake." he said grumpily. "Couldn't we just skip History of Magic or something and change back then?"  
"Oh, stop being lazy." said James exasperatedly. "It won't take more than fifteen minutes - and besides, we won't be caught. I brought my cloak." He pointed to a large lump at the foot of his bed.  
"Whatever." sighed Sirius, stretching. "I'd never get back to sleep now anyway...do you know how to reach the Great Hall, by the way?"  
"Nope." James said offhandedly. "We'll find it eventually though. C'mon, let's go."  
Still muttering under his breath, Sirius stood up and pulled on a robe, shivering slightly in the drafty castle air. They snuck quietly down the spiral staircase and across the common room, trying their best to be silent. "Ok, time for the cloak." whispered James. He threw it over himself and Sirius before they pushed open the portrait hole - the fat lady started but, not seeing anything, went back to sleep.  
"Right," muttered James as soon as they were well out of earshot. "Well, now we just have to find the Great Hall. Any ideas on how to do that?" Sirius let out a bark of laughter.  
"I wasn't paying attention." he said quietly. "Few floors down though. If we keep going in a downward direction we should reach it eventually, right?"  
"Yeah, probably." shrugged James. "Don't walk so fast, the cloak is slipping."  
"So, how did you figure out how we're supposed to change back?" asked Sirius, walking carefully towards the nearest staircase. "Appear to you in a dream?"  
"You could say that," James whispered back, careful to keep his voice low. "I - ghost!" He pointed straight ahead - a pearly white, translucent scepter was floating straight towards them, its clothes blood-stained and shroud-like. Completely forgetting about the invisibility cloak Sirius and James dashed towards the nearest cover - a large, ornate, ebony cabinet inlaid with ivory serpents.  
The ghost passed by them heedlessly - exhaling in relief they stood up and again walked towards the staircase.  
"So, how are we supposed to change back?" asked Sirius again.  
"Easy." said James. "Remember on the instructions there was a large smudged out space and then the word 'Defugere?'"  
"Uh...right."  
"Well, I decided that 'Defugere' had to be the word used for reversing the spell; you know, for changing back." he continued. "So, if I'm right then all we have to do is sit in the chairs again and say 'Defugere', and we'll change back." They had reached the bottom of the stairs by now and walked across a small landing to the next set - they seemed to have gone down about two floors to the third story.  
Sirius yawned. "This is taking forever." he complained. "I thought you said it would only take us fifteen minutes."  
"Well, a bloody ghoul floated by, didn't he?" said James impatiently. "We're almost there, stop complaining."  
"I'm hungry." Sirius announced a few minutes later, as they descended a roughly-hewn, tunnel-like staircase which seemed to be carved out of the rocky base of the castle. Exasperated, James stepped back hard on Sirius's foot. "Ow!" Sirius shouted. "What was that for?!"  
"You complain too much."  
Sirius huffed loudly. "Is it my fault I am starving to death? No. Nor is it my fault that your little trek is taking forever."  
"Well you could just shut up about it."  
"Or I could complain. By the way, I don't think this 'staircase' leads to the Great Hall. I think we might actually be underground...."  
"Of course we're not underground." said James dismissively. "Do you think I, James Potter, Hogwarts guide extraordinaire, would led you - that's weird, there's no windows!"  
Sirius snorted. They had just entered a spacious stone hallway well lit by bracketed torches and decorated with large pictures of food.  
Gazing around, Sirius's eyes fell on an especially huge painting of a bowl of fruit. It looked almost life-like, except for the fact that each piece of fruit was about four feet tall. Shrugging off the cloak, for the hallway seemed to be abandoned, he advanced towards the picture, mouth watering slightly. Ignoring James, who was laughing at him, Sirius reached out and touched a pear which looked particularly delectable. His fingers brushed the surface of it - before he realized what was happening it had started to chuckle, writhe, and before his eyes turn into a large brass doorknob.  
"Excellent!" said James, who had stopped laughing and sounded impressed. "Did you do that on purpose?"  
"Nah, I actually wanted to eat it." said Sirius, pulling the painting open with a bow. "After you?" James inclined his head gravely, eyes twinkling, and clambered through a large hole very much like the one behind the fat lady's portrait. Sirius followed him and was immediately struck with the heady scent of a gargantuan kitchen working at full speed.  
"Excellent!" he said hoarsely, gazing around. "Oh, this is bloody brilliant...food...." Struck by another fit of sudden hunger, he dashed towards the nearest table and began ravenously devouring everything in sight. Ignoring him, James gazed around, open-mouthed. Must be directly below the Great Hall.... he decided, noticing the 5 large wooden tables positioned directly below their counterparts above. And they send food directly up....  
"May I help you sir?" squeaked a voice from somewhere below his waist. Blinking, he looked down and saw a tiny house elf with large, bat- like ears and a thin, pencil-stick nose bobbing around by his waist, looking anxiously up at him. "Does sir need anything?"  
Startled, James looked around and saw over a hundred other elves bobbing around the kitchen, some cooking, others cleaning; all wore the same neat uniform - a tea-towel tied like a toga and stamped with the Hogwarts crest.  
"Um, no thanks...." he stammered, gazing around in amazement. "Do you all work here...?"  
"Oh, yes, indeed sir." said the elf proudly, drawing himself up to his full height. "Passer and the other elves work here, sir, and proudly we serves Professor Dumbledore, oh yes indeed sir. We works in the kitchens, and gladly we cleans the castle at night when everyone else has gone to bed." "Right...." said James, not entirely sure of the elf's sanity. "Well, at the moment I'm not sure we need any food, but - " "Of course we need food!" interjected Sirius hastily, before James had finished. "Ignore him - he's just grumpy because we switched bodies and for some obscure reason he thinks changing back is more important than eating." The elf nodded his head wisely. "Oh yes indeed sir," he said loudly, edging closer towards Sirius, as though trying to exclude James from the conversation. "Passer knows what sir is saying, indeed. The other sir is slightly befuddled in the head, sir - Passer understands, yes he does." Turning his back to Sirius, who was trying with very little success to keep from laughing, the elf continued, raising his voice until he was nearly shouting, to talk to James. "Sir was wise to come to Passer for help, very wise indeed." he bellowed. "Passer can help both kind sirs, for he is master of the kitchen! Never fear good sirs, for Passer will get you food, oh yes indeed. He will also take you to the Great Hall, oh yes, for he is eager to help the kind masters who come to him seeking help!" Grabbing the edge of James's robe, the little elf, grinning broadly, tugged James across the room to one of the long wooden tables, which was being hurriedly laden with food by the other elves. "Hurry sirs!" hollered Passer, pushing James onto the table. "Hurry or kind masters will be too late!" Shoving James down on top of a large platter laden with sausages, the elf hurried over to drag Sirius to the table. Shoving as many cakes into his pockets as possible, Sirius sprinted over to the table and vaulted onto it by James, landing in a huge pot of thick, gooey soup and effectively drenching himself and his friend with the sticky broth. "Good bye kind sirs!" shouted Passer, jumping back and waving both his arms crazily, narrowly missing hitting the heads of several other elves. "Oh, wise masters to come to Passer for help! Good bye!"  
With a sudden, sickening lurch Sirius and James began to spin around very fast - the world around them disappeared in a rush of color before, suddenly as it had begun, it stopped.  
  
A/N - Ok, not the world's greatest cliffhanger, but it'll have to do =). Again, thank you all who reviewed, and to everybody who didn't...evil people. Please redeem yourselves by reviewing this chapter, I will update a chapter for every review I get. 


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N_ - So many reviews! Thank you _BlackKat99_, _Crackers_, and **_BluePhoenixFire_**! I just love getting reviews....And thank you for answering my two questions, I'm forever indebted =)

So far I've written 12 chapters in this fan fic, and as of now chapter 5 is my favorite. Hope you like it too!  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Feeling the world once more go steady, James opened his eyes and, almost immediately, wished he hadn't. Passer had brought them to the Great Hall, but not in quite the manner James would have liked....  
They had landed in the middle of the Gryffindor table, and judging from the number of students present, halfway through breakfast time. Worse, he had landed on Lily Evans' plate.  
Eyes nearly popping out of her head, she stood up, face going scarlet, and screamed "BLACK!!!!! POTTER!!!!!"  
"Er, hello, Evans." he said, trying to grin innocently. "Enjoying your breakfast?"  
"YOU, YOU...."  
"So sorry to disturb you...,"  
"...YOU _EVIL_...."  
"...Really a most regrettable accident...."  
"...INSANE...."  
"So, if you don't mind, I think I'll just be going...."  
"OH NO YOU DON'T!!!" she shrieked. "YOU LAND ON MY PLATE IN THE MIDDLE OF BREAKFAST, COMPLETELY COVERED IN SPLIT PEA SOUP - "  
"Well, that was actually S - I mean, James' fault." he said, glancing at his best friend, who had landed in front of Remus and Peter and was hastily checking his pockets to be sure none of his cakes were damaged.  
"I COULD CARE LESS IF IT WAS YOU OR YOUR CRACKPOT LITTLE FRIEND WHO DID IT!!!!"  
Rolling his eyes and ignoring her further protests, James glanced up at the staff table and saw, with a sudden feeling of horror, that the teachers had noticed the commotion and Professor McGonagall had come down to investigate.  
"Well, very nice chatting with you, but I really must be going." he said, jumping to his feet and splattering her with syrup. "Oops, sorry about that...,"  
"**BLACK!!!!!**"  
"Are these the first year schedules?"  
"YOU JUST DRENCHED ME WITH SYRUP AND YOU WON'T EVEN APOLOGIZE???!!!!"  
"I already said sorry!" he said irritably. "The least you could do after yelling at me for ten minutes is tell me whether these are the schedules or not."  
"THE LEAST _I _COULD DO??!!!"  
"Oh, never mind." he said, annoyed. Professor McGonagall was now halfway down the table and looked livid - her face was turning a deep shade of crimson and her eyes were flashing menacingly. "OI! S- ER, JAMES!" he bellowed down the table. Sirius looked up and saw James point to Professor McGonagall.  
"Oh, hello Professor!" he called pleasantly. "How was your breakfast?" She glowered and Sirius, evidently getting the hint, added hastily "So, we'll just be going then...." Grabbing a last handful of food, he clambered off the table and ran to where James was waiting impatiently for him. Together they sprinted down the hall, past tables full of students, and into the entrance hall.  
"Whew!" said Sirius, mopping his forehead. "That was close! Fortunately, all of my food is still in one piece, so at least when she comes to give us detention I won't starve to death." James snorted.  
"That insane house elf - Passer, or whatever his name was.... My cloak!" James began frantically searching his robes, trying vainly to find his prized invisibility cloak. "No," he moaned, sinking to the ground at the foot of a large statue. "I left it by one of the ovens down in the kitchen - I set it down because it was so stuffy and heavy and I was trying to listening to the little nutcase...."  
"Well, mope if you like...," said Sirius, standing up hurriedly after glancing at the schedule James had given him, "But according to this we have only 5 minutes left to get to Charms, so if we're going to change back we better do it fast."  
Still muttering sadly under his breath about his cloak, James nonetheless stood up and followed Sirius to the small side door at the right side of the entrance to the Great Hall. Ignoring the "Danger" sign, Sirius pulled the door open and stepped into the dark, badly-lit room.  
They walked over to the podium, trying not to tread on the large blanket that they had left lying on the floor last night. "What are we supposed to say?" asked Sirius - his voice was hushed, although the sound of the students streaming from the Great Hall made his voice nearly inaudible even to James. "Defugie-something?"  
"Defugere. Can I have the seat on the left? It looks more comfortable than the other."  
Sirius shrugged. "Fine. Just hope that you figured this changing-back thing out right - I don't fancy turning into a toad or something." Clambering onto the platform, they each took one of the antique red leather armchairs and sat down.  
Closing his eyes, James said loudly. "'K. On the count of three, than - one, two...three!" An almost blindingly bright flash of white light shot through the air, and the ground trembled slightly. Opening his eyes, James immediately reached up to touch his air and found, with an immense feeling of relief, that it was once more short and stubbornly untidy. Feeling around his eyes, he discovered his glasses (slightly the worse for wear) were once more resting on the bridge of his nose.  
"I AM A GENIUS!" he shouted gleefully, jumping to his feet and dancing around the podium wildly. "BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BR - AAHHH!!!!!" Leaping too far in his enthusiasm, he had fallen off the edge of the podium. Sirius glanced over at him, then rolled his eyes and began running his fingers through his silky, straight, shoulder-length black hair.  
"What did you land in?" he asked, pulling several pieces of eggs and bacon out of his hair and off his robes.  
"Lily Evan's breakfast - don't think she was too thrilled about it, to be honest. Ranting on like mad - er, was that the bell?"  
"Yep, think so." said Sirius, standing up and vaulting off the edge of the podium. "Better find someone to show us where Charms is - after last night I'm not to sure I trust your navigation skills."  
"What?" said James, insulted. "My navigation skills are brilliant. I mean, we ended up here in the end, didn't we?"  
"James, you lead us to the kitchens."  
"Where I befriended a house elf, who in turn sent us to the Great Hall." said James triumphantly. Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled the door open.  
"He thought you were insane, remember?"  
"Well, I think _he's _insane, so it all balances out in the end. Hey, it's Evans!" Lily was exiting the Great Hall, deep in conversation with Remus. Peter was tagging along behind them, clutching a donut in one hand and his course schedule in the other.  
"Hey!" said Sirius hurrying to join them. Lily glared at him. "What were you doing in there?" she asked suspiciously. Both James and Sirius looked hurt. "Ah, Evans, you're so distrusting." said James earnestly. "Do you honestly think we would be doing anything against the rules?" "I suppose the 'Danger - do not enter' sign was there for no reason?" she said sarcastically. "Because of course Sirius Black and James Potter would never even dream of breaking the rules." "If you're referring to the small incident at breakfast," Sirius began, "I can assure you it wasn't our fault. A house elf called Passer...." "WASN"T YOUR FAULT!" Lily exploded, her face going bright red. "YOU APPEAR ON THE MIDDLE OF MY PLATE HALFWAY THROUGH BREAKFAST AND _DRENCH_ ME WITH SYRUP WHICH, MAY I REMIND YOU, IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET OFF, AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT??!!!" Remus looked slightly alarmed. "Well, I'm sure he didn't mean to cause any, er, inconvenience...," he began cautiously. Lily turned to glare at him. "Look," James interceded quickly, before Lily could tirade on again. "We really didn't mean to do that, although I must admit it was rather fun...." "So it's Black and a mudblood." said a silky voice from right behind them. "Why am I not surprised...." James and Sirius spun around hotly, drawing their wands from inside their pockets. Severus Snape sauntered out from behind a large suit of armor, his thin, pallid face contorted in a grotesque sneer. "What do you want?" said James harshly. Snape laughed. "I was merely on my way to Charms." he said smoothly, eyes flickering to Lily and Peter. "Then of course I noticed you and your little band of admirers...." "We're friends, not admirers!" piped in Peter. Lily brushed back a strand of hair impatiently. "I'm not a friend of Black or Potter, alright? How many times do I - " Snape interrupted her with an oily laugh. "Look Potter - even the mudbloods don't like you."  
Enraged, James raised his arm to curse Snape, but just as he was opening his mouth Lily pushed his arm back down again. "Will you two stop fighting?!" she said edgily. James looked at her incredulously.  
"Lily, he just called you a - "  
"I know perfectly well what he said, Potter."  
"And you don't care?"  
"At the moment, no."  
"But - "  
"Just shut up, will you Potter? You've already done enough damage for one day."  
"If you're still upset about that minor incident at breakfast...." James began heatedly, but stopped as he saw the glower on Lily's face.  
"It's not just that." she continued, still glaring at him. "In case no one else has noticed, our brilliant Hogwarts-guide has also managed to get us lost."  
Remus gazed around, unperturbed. "Well, it is a fairly easy place to get lost in." he said, shrugging. "I mean, we only got here last night." Lily glanced at her wrist watch and groaned.  
"Great - we've already missed ten minutes of Charms thanks to you." She glared once more at James, who was doing his best to appear innocent.  
"What? It wasn't my fault - blame Snivellus here...." Sirius and Peter laughed as Snape narrowed his eyes.  
"What did you call me?" he asked through gritted teeth.  
"WILL YOU TWO STOP BEING SO IMMATURE!!!!!" screamed Lily in vexation. "I AM TIRED OF YOU CONSTANTLY GOING AT EACH OTHER!!! NOW, WILL YOU HELP ME FIND THE CHARMS CLASSROOM OR NOT??!!!" All of the boys (except Snape) looked at her meekly.  
"Um, sure." said James, cowering under her furious gaze. "Whatever you say...."  
"Lost, are you?" said a morose voice from behind them. Peter jumped about two feet in the air and slunk quickly behind Sirius - everyone else turned around to see a silvery-white, translucent specter dressed in a pearly doublet and extremely large ruff floating towards them. "Hello," he said forlornly. "First years aren't you?" They all nodded their heads awkwardly. "Yes, yes - of course you are." he continued sorrowfully. "Trying to find your way to class?"  
"Yes," said Remus, stepping forward. "We lost our way a while back - we're trying to find the Charms corridor...." The ghost looked surprised.  
"Indeed? Well, whoever was leading you did a rather poor job of it, I must say - you're about four floors from where you should be." Lily glared triumphantly at James, who now looked rather sulky. "Anyway," the ghost continued despondently, "You'll need to be guided to class, I presume?"  
"Er, yes, that would be very nice of you," said Remus awkwardly. The ghost sighed dejectedly.  
"Of course, of course - you are all in Slytherin, are you not?" James and Sirius looked severely insulted.  
"Only _him_." said James, jerking his thumb at Snape, a look of utter revulsion on his face. "Snivelly - um, I mean, Snape is the only one from Slytherin. _We're_ all Gryffindors." The ghost seemed to brighten considerably.  
"Really?" he said, sounding considerably more delighted. "Well, in that case, well met. I am Sir Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington, resident ghost of Gryffindor tower."  
"Hello," said Lily, glancing anxiously at her watch again. "Look, it's really nice meeting you and all, but we're really late for class, and seeing as how this is our first day and all...."  
"Oh, I understand completely." said Sir Nicholas, turning to gaze morosely at her. "You do not wish to miss your first day of classes?"  
"Well, no, not really." she said, slightly flustered. James sniggered and she turned to glower at him. "James Potter -"she began heatedly, but was cut off suddenly by Sir Nicholas' mournful voice.  
"Well, come this way then." he said sorrowfully. "And please don't bicker. It really is most annoying, after a while." They all turned obediently to follow him, Sirius, James, Remus and Peter trailing behind.  
"That Snape character is evil." hissed James under his breath. "I swear, once Evan leaves - did you hear what he was calling her?" Sirius looked slightly alarmed.  
"Totally agree with you about Snape, mate, but to be honest you're getting very worked up over this girl." James turned to glower at him.  
"You heard him call her a, a – a you-know-what." he whispered viciously. "Am I supposed to pretend I don't care?"  
"Well, no, but you could be a little less protective." interceded Remus.  
"I'm not being protective!"  
Sirius sniggered. "Forget protective, Remus - he's obsessed."  
Growing steadily redder in the face, James, vexed, at last screamed, "I - AM - NOT - OBSSESSED - WITH - LILY - EVANS!!!!!!"  
Lily spun around and glared at him, her cheeks pink. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all burst out laughing; Snape gazed at them all haughtily, his mouth twitching slightly - even Sir Nicholas turned around and looked at James disapprovingly. "Now, now." he said mournfully, shaking his head. "That won't do; won't do at all, I'm afraid - oh!" His ruff slipped and his pearly white, translucent head fell off onto his shoulder, held in place by a mere inch of skin and muscle. Lily screamed and jumped backwards, landing hard on Sirius' foot.  
"Ow!" he yelped, hopping on one foot and crashing into Remus and Peter. Snape, who had looked startled when Sir Nicholas' head had fallen off, had once more recovered his customary sneer, while James gazed, transfixed, at the ghost, apparently forgetting completely about his outburst of a few seconds ago.  
"That is _disgusting_." Lily proclaimed, averting her eyes as Sir Nicholas daintily placed his severed head once more on his shoulders. The ghost sighed despondently.  
"Oh, I quite agree." he said sorrowfully, pulling his ruff a bit higher up on his neck. "A rather botched beheading - most painful and gruesome, I must say." he shook his head and sighed again. "Some think it's funny, though - call me 'Nearly Headless Nick', constantly reminding me off my affliction...." He trailed off mournfully.  
After a few moments silence, in which the only sound was Sirius' continued mutterings, Nick sighed again and continued to lead them to the Charms classroom.  
  
"I'm sorry we're late, professor!" said Lily breathlessly, sitting down hurriedly in the nearest seat. Professor Flitwick, the tiny Charms teacher, smiled at her and the entering boys as they filed hastily into the room.  
"Oh, it's quite alright!" he chirped. "We've just been practicing levitation charms - pair up, each of you, and take a feather." He pointed to a large basket full of fluffy white feathers on top of his desk.  
Sirius and James immediately sat down at the nearest open table, (which happened to be right by Lily's) and shouted for Remus, who had paired with Peter, to grab a feather for them.  
Glancing around hopefully, Lily's face fell. Everyone else in the room already seemed to have a partner - setting her book bag down, she stood, walked up to Professor Flitwick, and said timidly "I'm sorry to bother you Professor, but everyone else seems to have been paired up...."  
"Oh, not to worry, dear!" squeaked Flitwick. "You can join another group and have a threesome."  
James, who had been listening closely to their conversation, jumped up and said excitedly "She can join our group, Professor!"  
"Excellent!" said Professor Flitwick brightly, before Lily could protest. "Now then," he continued, turning to face the rest of the class, "The incantation is Wingardium Leviosa. Simply point your wand at the feather - no, Goyle, jab at it like that and you'll set it on fire - and recite the spell. If done properly the feather should levitate. Now, does everyone remember the wrist movement we practiced in the beginning of class? The swish and flick?" The class murmured their assent. "Well, very well then, begin practicing."  
Lily turned to glare furiously at James and Sirius. "You think this is extremely funny, don't you?" she spat, fuming. "You just love constantly tormenting me, don't you?"  
James looked hurt. "No, we wanted to help you!" he said sincerely, though his eyes were twinkling mischievously. "We already know how to cast a few basic spells, so we thought we'd - "  
"I don't need your help, Potter." she said flatly. Rolling up her sleeves, she pointed her wand at the feather and, flicking her wrist, said clearly "Wingardium Leviosa." The feather rose slowly off the table to float a few feet above their heads.  
"Oh, well done, well done!" squeaked Professor Flitwick happily. "Very good, Miss Evans, very good!"  
She turned to glance superiorly at Sirius and James, who looked impressed despite themselves. 'Thought you were muggle-born," said Sirius, standing on his seat to pluck the feather from midair. "How'd you get so good at casting spells?"  
"I actually _read_, Black." she said scathingly. "It's in the _Standard Book of Spells, Chapter 1_."  
"You actually read that?" said James, gaping at her. She rolled her eyes and didn't bother to comment.  
"My turn to try!" said Sirius brightly. Placing the feather carefully down on the table, he stared at it for a couple of seconds before turning to James and saying hopefully "Think I could try a different spell on it? Something a bit more, er, interesting?"  
"Sure." shrugged James. He turned and mock-bowed to Lily. "And her royal highness says...." She glared at him through narrowed eyes.  
"Do whatever you like - I shall accept no responsibility if - "  
"Excellent!" said Sirius happily. Raising his wand, he pointed it at the feather and bellowed "Villosus parvus draco!"  
There was a blindingly bright flash of emerald-green light, followed by a sound like a thunderclap. Sirius, James, and Lily's table was enveloped in a cloud of thick, silvery smoke - coughing, they fanned it away, trying to ignore the screams of their fellow classmates. When the haze at last cleared they discovered that the pure white feather, which moments ago had been laying on the table, had disappeared - in its place was what was unmistakably a small, fluffy white dragon about the size of a pigeon.  
Lily's mouth dropped open and she began to scream. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF - "she shrieked, nearly falling out of her chair as she backed hurriedly away from the table.  
"Brilliant!" chorused Sirius and James, bending down to get a better look at it.  
"Oh dear!" Professor Flitwick said anxiously, hurrying over to their table while the rest of his class ran, screaming, towards the door. "Well, I daresay you must have misread the spell...,"  
"What is all this ruckus about?" Professor McGonagall stood enthroned in the doorway, her eyes flashing behind her square-rimmed spectacles. The class abruptly stopped trying to exit the room, though many still glanced over their shoulders apprehensively. "Well?" said Professor McGonagall again.  
"Oh, Sirius just messed up the spell a bit." said James, smiling charmingly at the Professor. She frowned.  
"You did this, Black?" she said, turning to face him.  
"Well, yes, but they told me to." he said, grinning and pointing to James and Lily.  
"What?!" yelped Lily. "I didn't...I never told you to...."  
"Miss Evans," said Professor McGonagall curtly, "I advise you remain quiet, unless you wish your punishment to be severe."  
"My punishment...? But, Professor...."  
"No arguments, Miss Evans. The three of you shall receive detentions - report to my room at 7:00 sharp. And do something about that thing." she added, glancing, annoyed, at the tiny dragon, which was now lighting several of Lily's books on fire.

_A/N_ - And so ends chapter 5. I really hope you like it...as of now it's my favorite. I really like the dragon, but she doesn't play an important role again until chapter 10. Oh well. Next chapter is the James/Sirius/Lily detention, so keep reviewing if you want to read it!


	7. Chapter 6

_A/N_ - I forgot that I promised a chapter for each review I got! Sorry! That deal is officially over, since I'm running out of pre-written chapters and soon you might have to gasp wait until I finish writing them, which believe me will take forever. However, I will be nice and post the others that I promised. So here, is chapter 6!

Chapter 6

"I can't believe you, Black." hissed Lily, her robes whipping about her as she strode furiously towards Professor McGonagall's office, which had been pointed out to them earlier by a helpful 5th year. "I had absolutely nothing to do with - "

"Well, you did encourage him." said James, laughing. "Remember? You said, 'Do whatever you like.'"

"I also said that I would accept no responsibility for your deranged experiments. What did you do with that thing anyway?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," said Sirius smugly.

"If you kept it, Black...."

"Lily, we couldn't just let the poor little thing go. She would have _died_. Believe us, we only kept her to save her life." said James, trying hard not to laugh.

"Yep, Lily's with us only because we are such kind, generous souls that we couldn't - "

"You named it **_Lily_**!" she shrieked, furious. "You - "

"You don't like it?" said Sirius, sounding hurt. "But Lily, she acted so much like you we felt it only right to name her - "

"Potter, Black, Evans - come in." The door to Professor McGonagall's office was open; she was sitting at her desk grading papers and beckoned them inside. Lily, still fuming at the two boys, stomped inside and sat down huffily. James and Sirius sauntered in, closing the door behind them.

"Now," continued Professor McGonagall, putting down her quill and gazing at them shrewdly, "You have disposed of the creature, I presume?"

Lily opened her mouth, but before she could say anything James cut in quickly and said "Yeah, don't worry - she won't bother anybody anymore."

"Good. Now, for your detentions. The Owlery has of late been rather - shall we say, messy? As Mr. Filch is busy cleaning up after a potions, er, _spill_ from earlier today, I have decided to allow you three to clean the Owlrey, _without_ magic." She looked at them all sternly, ignoring Sirius and James' groans. "And I expect you three to behave yourselves - you will be exempt from curfew, as it will probably take you some time to finish."

Picking up her quill once more, she continued correcting papers and took no further notice of them, which they took as a sign that they were dismissed.

"No magic?!" moaned Sirius as they strode quickly down the hall. "How are we supposed to clean the Owlery without magic? It'll take _ages_."

"Oh, stop complaining." said Lily breezily, apparently thinking they had gotten off easy. "It's not that hard - you've cleaned before, haven't you?"

"No, that's what our house elf was for!" said Sirius, disgusted. "Professor McGonagall is _evil_ - now we're going to have to use mops, and brooms...."

"Heaven forbid Sirius Black or James Potter ever deign to use a _mop_." said Lily exasperatedly. "Honestly, you two - you're pathetic."

"I'm not pathetic!" said James, insulted. "I simply do not see why we're being forced to clean when there are over a hundred elves who would die for a chance to scoop up owl droppings."

"So you would rather encourage the slavery and forced servitude of over a hundred innocent house elves than yourself consent to clean?"

"Um, yes, I think so."

"James Potter - "

"Will you two stop arguing?" Sirius said wearily. "It's actually getting rather annoying."

"_Sirius Black_," said a voice, coming form somewhere around Sirius' pocket. "_Sirius...._" Reaching his hand hurriedly in his pocket, Sirius drew out a small, rather badly scuffed mirror.

"Hello Remus!" he said brightly. "How's Lily doing?"

Remus, reflected in the two-way mirror, looked extremely annoyed. "Your deranged miniature dragon is going absolutely beserk." he informed Sirius, who grinned.

"Sounds like her namesake, doesn't she? Just kidding, Lily," he added hastily, as Lily glared at him furiously. "So, figured out what she eats yet?"

"Everything," said Remus wearily. "So far she's eaten your and James' pillows, two of Peter's spellbooks, an inkbottle, and three packages of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans."

"She ate my snack stash!" said James disbelievingly. "I can't believe this...."

"Don't worry," said Remus wryly, looking at James, who was peering over Sirius' shoulder. "You still have a few jars of Cockroach Cluster left...she didn't seem to like those, for some reason...."

"You are keeping that, that _thing_ in your dormitory?" said Lily, horrified. "You **idiots** - it's a miniature dragon! It can breathe fire! You could burn the entire tower down!"

"But she's cute!" protested James. "C'mon Lily, admit it - you like her."

"James Potter - "

"STOP ARGUING!" shouted Sirius and Remus simultaneously.

"Don't worry Lily," said Remus, smiling slightly. "James performed a flame-freezing spell, so she can't breathe fire anymore."

"That's a third-year spell," said Lily, frowning. "How could James have done that?"

Remus shrugged. "Well, he did, and Sirius did a charm so she can't fly more than a mile from the castle, so she should be alright."

Deciding not to ask how Sirius had performed a spell which was OWL level, Lily said nothing. "Anyway," resumed Remus, turning to look at James and Sirius, "Peter and I have locked her up in one of the spare owl cages, so she's fine for now."

"Excellent," said Sirius, grinning. "Thanks a ton, Remus. We have to go now, though; Professor McGonagall's making us clean the Owlery without magic."

Remus laughed. "Have fun, then. Bye." His image winked out and the mirror went dark. Sirius tucked the mirror in his pocket and opened the door to the Owlery, which they had just reached.

The Owlery was dark and drafty - there was no glass on any of the numerous windows, and consequently sharp gusts of wind continually blew in; one nearly knocked Lily off her feet. The stone floor was strewn with owl droppings, feathers, and the skeletons of dead mice. Hundreds of owls were sitting on rafters and perches attached to the wall, although that number was steadily dwindling as more and more flew off to hunt.

"This is disgusting," said Lily flatly, trying vainly to stand on a patch of ground which was not thoroughly covered in owl droppings.

"This is going to take _forever_." moaned Sirius, picking up a broom which was leaning against the nearest wall and eyeing it with revulsion. "Why couldn't we do something interesting, like go into the Forbidden Forest and kill a, a vampire, or something?"

Lily shuddered. "You actually want to go into that forest? Hasn't it ever occurred to you that it might be forbidden for a reason?"

"Well, it would be better than working in here." said James, picking up a bottle of cleaner fluid and eyeing it curiously. "What's this supposed to be?"

Lily shook her head despairingly. "It's for cleaning, you idiot - look, it says so right on the front."

"Hey, it does!" said James, laughing. "Weird - muggles actually use this stuff to clean?"

"Obviously, or it wouldn't be here. Now, can we please get started cleaning so we're not here all night?"

"Alright, alright - don't be so touchy. Ok, Sirius, you and I can use the mop and broom to brush off the floor, and Evans can use this cleaning stuff."

They set to work, and except for the muffled hooting of owls the room was silent for a few minutes. "You know," said Sirius suddenly, turning to look at Lily, "If we used magic no one would ever - "

"Don't even think about it, Black." she said coolly.

"But - "

"I said_ no_."

"Oh, alright." He rolled his eyes at James, who laughed quietly and drew his wand.

"Wingardium Leviosa," he muttered under his breath - the pail of water right beside Lily floated silently into the air and hovered a few feet over her head. Trying hard not to laugh, he flicked his wand down sharply and allowed the bucket to fall.

It landed with a loud _SPLASH!_ on her head - blinking furiously, she spun around and, livid, drew her wand. Sirius and James stopped laughing at once. "Which one of you did this?" she asked softly, narrowing her eyes and pushing back a strand of sopping-wet auburn hair.

"Me," said James meekly, cowering under her gaze. "But really Evans, it was just a joke. Don't make me hex you...."

"You hex me?" she said, arching her eyebrow. "I think not, Potter...." Raising her wand, she said firmly "Ululas devenire!"

All at once all of the owls left in the tower flew up in a flurry of feathers, then streaked suddenly downwards, right at James. "AAHHH!!!!" he screamed, ducking and covering his head with his arms. "EVANS!!!" She laughed vindictively.

"Apologize, Potter!"

"EVANS!!!"

"They're not coming off until you apologize!"

"YOU'RE INSANE!!! THEY'RE GOING TO PECK ME TO DEATH!!!"

"Well that would just be a shame, wouldn't it?"

"**EVANS!!!** **SIRIUS, HELP ME!!!**"

"Well, it is pretty funny, mate." observed Sirius, laughing. "So I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I just sat here and watched...."

"SIRIUS!"

"Fine, fine – Evans, James admits that he was an extraordinarily large berk and apologizes for - "

"I MEANT CURSE HER, YOU PRAT!"

"But then she'd hex me!"

Lily laughed vengefully as a particularly large barn owl swooped down and plucked James' wand from his hand. "HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY WAND, YOU STUPID BIRD!!!"

"Apologize, Potter!"

"Fine, fine - I'm sorry! Now make that idiot bird give me my wand back!" Sighing sadly, Lily nonetheless removed the curse. Suddenly disinterested in James, the owls flew back up to the rafters and perches – the large tawny dropped the wand and James hurried over to pick it up.

"You are insane." he informed Lily, who was still glaring evilly at him as she wrung out her sopping-wet hair. "Absolutely insane."

"Well, you deserved it." she said haughtily, picking up the broom, which he had dropped in his vain attempt to escape the owls, and tossing it to him. "Now can we please finish this? We've been here for half an hour already and gotten absolutely nothing done."

"And that was whose fault?" said James irritably.

She threw a sideways glance at him. "Don't even go there, Potter."

_A/N_ - ok, the format for this page turned out kind of weird, but I'm sure that you all could understand it. =). Thank you for reviewing everyone who reviewed - getting reviews for this story is just awesome. Ok, i didn't get exactly as many as I would've liked, but - sorry, I'm ranting now. I'll stop. Hopefully you got the hint and will REVIEW!


	8. Chapter 7

_A/N_ - Thank you so much everybody for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the last few chapters =).

Now, just so everybody knows, this chapter isn't quite as interesting as the last few chappies. However, it is rather important to the tiny little semblance of a plot in this story, and if you don't like it I'll just say that I'm sorry, but that's just too bad.

And now...Chapter 7!

Chapter 7  
  
"She likes me much more than you, Sirius." said James, grinning up at his best friend as he fed Lily the dragon treacle tart nicked from the kitchens. "Just like the Namesake...."  
Sirius snorted. "Face it James – Evans hates you. She wouldn't even look at you during Transfiguration today."  
"Dunno why she was so upset about me turning all of her papers into beetles. Professor McGonagall seemed really pleased about it."  
"Which is why she yelled at you for five minutes straight and gave you two weeks worth of detentions?"  
"Well, I'm sure she was happy really deep inside. I think I'm her favorite student."  
Sirius laughed. "You just keep thinking that...." The door to their dormitory opened. Remus walked in – he was grey in the face and was trembling slightly.  
"You okay?" asked James, ignoring Lily's squawking as he stuffed her rudely into her cage. "You look like you're gonna be sick...."  
"No, I – I'm fine." Remus said faintly. "I just came up to see if you would take notes in class for me tomorrow...." Sirius and James glanced at each other, concerned. Something was definately wrong if Remus was going to be missing class....  
"You sure you're feeling alright?" asked Sirius, pulling Remus down onto the nearest bed. "Because you really – "  
"No, I'm fine, honestly." said Remus – his eyes were dull and his breath was starting to come in ragged gasps. "What time is it?"  
"About seven fifteen," said James, exchanging a worried glance with Sirius, "But it's getting dark pretty early...moon should be out soon...." Remus sprang up suddenly.  
"I have to go!" he said wildly. "I, I'll see you guys later....No really Sirius, I'm fine...." Dashing to the door, he flung it open and tore quickly down the stairs and out of sight. James and Sirius stared at each other for a couple of seconds.  
"That was _weird_." said Sirius emphatically – James nodded his head in agreement.  
"Hope he went to the Hospital Wing – he didn't look too good."  
"Well, I'm sure he would've told us if it was something serious." There was a knock on the door – James stood up and went to open it.  
It was Lily Evans. She looked worried and peered around James, as though hoping to see someone. "Have either of you seen Remus lately?" she asked apprehensively. "He rushed past me in the hall a few minutes ago, and he looked really ill...,"  
"He was in here a few moments ago," said Sirius, walking up to stand beside James. "He was all grey and trembling....Then James told him that the moon was coming out soon and he totally flipped out." Lily stared at Sirius, a look of dawning comprehension on her face.  
"That would explain everything...." she murmured, more to herself than to either of them. "That's why he didn't – "She glanced up suddenly, as though just remembering that Sirius and James were there. "I have to go," she said, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Tell him I hope he feels better next time you see him, alright?" Turning, she darted back down the stairs and into the Common Room.  
Sirius and James stared at each other again. "What would explain what?" asked James, baffled. "Why does it seem like everyone knows something I don't?"  
Sirius glanced at him slyly. "Invisibility cloak, d'you reckon?" he asked, keeping his voice low. James bit his lip, undecided.  
"Well, it seems a bit, I dunno, _wrong_ to spy on one of our friends...." he said awkwardly. Sirius snorted exasperatedly.  
"Not on Remus, you prat – on Lily." James' face cleared up instantly.  
"Alright then!" he said brightly. "I'll go get it – be back in a sec." He sprinted back into their room, opening his trunk and digging feverishly through it until he found the cloak. "Got it!" he said, hastening back towards Sirius. "We should probably put it on here – too many people in the Common Room...."  
They covered themselves with it and crept silently down the spiral staircase and into the Common Room, trying to find Lily while simultaneously avoid crashing into anybody.  
"Over there, by the window!" hissed James under his breath. Lily was sitting beneath the milky-black pane, tearing frantically through a large, leather-bound book.  
James and Sirius crept quietly over, stopping a few inches from her. She was pushing her hair distractedly away from her face and muttered under her breath "But where's Dumbledore taking him?"  
Sirius and James glanced bemusedly at each other. "Dumbledore?" mouthed Sirius wordlessly; James shrugged and bent down to read the spine of the book Lily was reading.  
_Humanoid Monsters of Great Britain_ he read to himself – he reread it again to make sure he hadn't imagined it. Poking Sirius sharply, he gestured towards the staircase, and they tiptoed as quietly as they could back across the Common Room and up the staircase, not daring to take the cloak off until they were safely in their dormitory.  
"_Humanoid Monsters of Great Britain_!" fumed James, throwing the cloak angrily onto his bed. "She can't possibly think that Remus is a, a vampire, or something!"  
"What are you talking about?" asked Sirius, confused. "Lily was reading a book about monsters?"  
"Humanoid monsters, Sirius! She thinks that he's a monster!"  
  
"Hey," said Remus wearily, collapsing onto his bed. "Did someone take notes for me today?"  
"Yeah, Sirius did." said James, dumping the latest load of kitchen provender on Peter's bed. "Um, Remus, where were you yesterday?"  
Remus glanced up sharply. For a moment he didn't say anything – then, with difficulty, he replied "My grandmother was...ill. I had to go home and see her."  
"Oh." said James; then, after a moment, he added "I hope she's feeling better."  
Remus laughed bitterly. "Oh, yeah – she's feeling loads better." Sirius and James glanced at each other awkwardly.  
"So," said Sirius uncomfortably, "Why were you looking so ill yesterday?"  
"I was worried about her." said Remus shortly.  
"So when you got upset because the moon was coming out it was because – "James prompted quietly.  
"Because I, I was – I was leaving around then."  
"Oh." The room was silent for a couple of minutes – the only sound was Lily scraping her claws against her cage.  
"Have you talked to Evans recently?" asked Sirius suddenly, struck with an unexpected burst of inspiration. "'Cause she seemed pretty keen to see you... said that you leaving would explain something...."  
Remus leapt up so abruptly James and Sirius started. "She, she said that?" he asked, trying to force himself to calm down.  
"Yeah," said James, eyeing Remus curiously. "She was also reading this book – _Humanoid Monsters of Great Britain_, or something like that...."  
"Where is she?" Remus said urgently. James shrugged.  
"She was in the Library a half hour ago," said Sirius, looking slightly concerned at Remus' sudden obsession with finding Lily. "She might still be in there...."  
Remus dashed across the room and down the staircase, nearly colliding with Peter as he hastened to reach the portrait hole.  
Peter entered the dormitory, glancing curiously over his shoulder. "What was wrong with Remus?" he asked, his mousy face covered in sweat as he heaved a large stack of books onto his bed, effectively crushing much of the food on it. "Oops; sorry, whosever those were...."  
"He's been acting weird lately," said Sirius thoughtfully, gazing after his friend. Turning to James, he asked suddenly "You don't think that maybe Lily was right, and that's why he's been acting so – strangely? You don't think that he could maybe be a, a vampire or something?"  
"Not a vampire, Sirius." said James softly, shaking his head. "Not a vampire...." 

_A/N_ - Well, there you go. Not the most interesting chapter ever, but too bad. Next chapter is, I warn you, rather strange. Just so you know ahead of time.

**BluePhoenixFire** - cringing away in guilt I'm sorry! I didn't know you liked my story that much! But like I said earlier, if I updated the whole thing now you would probably have to wait a month for the next update.

**Padfoot** - you know, if anyone else read your review they would probably think you were insane. And don't insult my pygmies. They're brilliant. =)

**Crackers - **I'm glad you think it's funny!

**Dobbyfan18** - Glad you like it =). Unfortunately I probably won't be able to post the next chapter until next week.


	9. Chapter 8

_** A/N**_ - Guess what?! I didn't leave for my computer-less summer house yet, so I got to post another chapter! Yay!

Again, thank you everybody that has reviwed my story. You guys are great =)

Just so you know ahead of time, this chapter is rather strange. I started off writing it and had no idea where it was going to end up, so...yeah. Please review it!

And, without further ado, may I introduce....Chapter 8!

Chapter 8  
  
"Oh Professor," drawled James, watching with amusement as the Potions teacher, Professor Cattivo, turned to glare at him, hiding her frustration under a thin veil of civility. He loved to infuriate the Potions master – she was head of Slytherin and thus, in his opinion, deserved to be the butt of every prank he could come up with.  
"Yes, Potter?" she said silkily, brushing back her thick golden hair and settling her cold, grey eyes on James. "Is something wrong?"  
"Why yes, Professor, I believe something is." he said pleasantly. "The ingredient list you put up is incorrect." She stared at him, eyes flashing menacingly.  
"What did you say, Potter?" she asked quietly, her voice full of suppressed loathing.  
"Well Professor, according to my book, there are several wrong ingredients, including – "  
"Very well Potter," she interrupted smoothly, "Why don't you fix the list then?"  
James struggled to conceal his grin of triumph. "Of course, Professor Cattivo." Sauntering up to the board, he began to scribble hastily on it, trying not to laugh. _Ingredients for a potion of shrinking...._  
  
"Your potions should be almost complete by now," called Professor Cattivo, striding up and down the rows of cauldrons. "Simply add two pinches of fennel and allow them to simmer for five minutes. If Potter has indeed put up the ingredients list correctly," She glanced sideways at James, her mouth curling in a sneer, "You should have an Elixir of Strength – we will test them at the end of class."  
Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter stood up and walked over to the large stone sink at the far end of the room. "This is brilliant!" crowed James under his breath, wincing slightly as he stuck his hands under the freezing jet of water pouring from the stone gargoyle's mouth. "Snape is going to shrink to the size of a leprechaun!"  
Remus eyed him skeptically. "I hate to spoil your moment of triumph, but won't we too?"  
James waved his hand dismissively. "Of course not! I slipped the antidote into all of our potions – we'll stay normal while Snape and all of his cronies turn into pixies!"  
"But don't you think it'll be a bit obvious that we did it?"  
"Remus, we covered our tracks perfectly! There's no way she could even suspect us."  
"James, if we're the only ones that don't turn into midgets I think she might suspect something's up."  
"And you were the one that put up the new ingredients!" piped Peter, his mousy face pale. Evidently he had no desire to face the wrath of Professor Cattivo.  
"That's a good point," said James thoughtfully – however, a moment later his cocky grin had returned, and he said brightly "Ah, well – sacrifices must be made."  
"Your potions should be done simmering by now," called Professor Cattivo, interrupting their conversation. "Return to your seats so we may test them."  
Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter all sat down – Sirius and James wore looks of great anticipation, Peter of fright, and Remus of trepidation. Professor Cattivo strode to her own cauldron – filling a small glass beaker with the acid-green potion, she gestured for the rest of the class to do the same.  
There was a loud sound of clattering as everyone rummaged through their supplies, trying to find a glass cup. At last everyone had found one – filling the goblets with the liquid, they waited, their breath bated, for Professor Cattivo to give the sign that they should drink – this was the first potion she had ever had them test on themselves.  
"You may drink." she said shortly. Raising the glass to her lips, she drank in deeply – the rest of the class hurried to follow suit. For a moment nothing happened – then, all of a sudden, the classroom was filled with the sound of popping.  
Glancing around, James began to laugh. Except for himself, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, the entire class had shrunk to the size of a large paperclip. Professor Cattivo began squeaking furiously at him; she greatly resembled a spider with her billowing black robes.  
"Potter!" she squealed, her voice high-pitched and tinny. "Fix this this instant!"  
"But Professor," said James, affecting a tone of mock-surprise, "I have no idea how this happened!" She glared at him wrathfully and whipped out her wand, which was about half the size of a pin.  
"No really, Professor!" said Sirius earnestly, though he frequently burst out laughing. "It was....Snivellus!"  
"It was not Snape, you thick-headed prats!" screeched a tiny voice from somewhere around Peter's elbow – glancing down, James saw that Lily had somehow managed to pull herself onto their table and was striding towards his arm, whipping out her tiny wand. "You idiotic berks....Change me back now, or I'll – "  
"But Evans," interrupted Sirius, gazing at her earnestly, "You're really so noisy when you're your usual size...."  
Another loud sound of popping filled the air. Horror-stricken, James saw everyone change back suddenly into their normal size.... They all looked furious, and they were all glaring at him, Sirius, Peter, and Remus.  
"Um, time to run?" he asked, glancing at Sirius.  
"Definitely." As one they turned and sprinted out of the classroom, the rest of the class close on their heels.  
  
"Oi! James!" Sirius had stopped abruptly and was staring, transfixed, at a large wooden door opposite a tapestry of some trolls wearing pink tutus. "Was this here before?"  
"Who cares? Come on!" Grabbing Sirius' robes, he wrenched the door open and dragged his friend inside, slamming it shut after Peter and Remus had entered.  
"Never...do...that...again." gasped Peter, clutching a stitch in his side. "We've been...running...for...at least...two floors."  
James laughed. "It was fun though!"  
"I must say I find your idea of amusement rather strange," remarked Remus, glancing around bemusedly at the room they were now in. "You shrink the entire class to the size of beetles, including the professor – "  
Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "She deserved it."  
"Yes, but do you have any idea how much trouble you're going to be in? How much trouble we're all going to be in?"  
"Who cares?"  
"I don't think it would make a good impression on our teachers if by the first three weeks of school we have managed to get a year's worth of detention, Sirius."  
"Ah, who cares about good impressions anyway?"  
"Evidently not you."  
"Where are we?" interrupted Peter, who had finally caught his breath and was gazing around the room, his mouth open slightly. "We walked by here a few days ago, but there wasn't any door...."  
Turning, Sirius followed Peter's gaze – the room they were in was large and airy; several huge, wooden bookshelves stacked with dozens upon dozens of volumes lined those walls which were not completely dominated by enormous, mullioned windows. A low, round table was placed in the center of the room, and four low-slung chairs circled it. The stone floor was covered by a deep red rug, and one wall was completely concealed by a fireplace, sink, and plain wooden cabinets.  
"Excellent!" exclaimed James delightedly – he had walked over to the cabinets and, pulling them open, revealed shelf upon shelf of potions ingredients, candies, and every sort of trick item imaginable. Remus, meanwhile, had strolled over to one of the bookshelves and was flipping casually through several of the volumes.  
"Basic Components of Human to Animal Transfiguration Spells, by Cambio Tierisch." he read, frowning slightly. "Why...."  
"Hey, look at this!" called Sirius – he was standing beside a small side table, a tiny slip of parchment held in his hand. Striding over, Remus peered over his shoulder and read:  
Room of Requirement  
Walk past room three times, thinking clearly of desire.  
A door shall appear – this is the entrance to the room. Whatever  
was thought of as were walking past shall have appeared in room.  
  
Sirius laughed. "This is brilliant! Whatever we think of when we're walking past the entrance, it appears in here....Well, now we have a hideout if we ever need to flee maniacal classes again...."  
"Human to animal transfiguration...." murmured Remus thoughtfully, ignoring James and Sirius' confused looks. "But I was thinking about – "  
"Remus," said James, in a voice of mock-patience, "If you would please stop phasing out every ten seconds – "Remus glanced up sharply, as though just realizing they were there.  
"Sorry, I just....Well, never mind." he said, blushing slightly. Rolling his eyes, James walked back over to the cabinets and grabbed several boxes of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans – Lily the dragon had long since eaten his.  
"You know, we should probably go soon." said Remus, glancing down at his watch. "History of Magic starts in four minutes...." Sirius shrugged.  
"Don't worry, Binns won't notice if we're not there."  
"Yes, but Sirius...."  
"No, we have to go!" piped in James hastily. "Professor McGonagall was going to come into our class today, remember?"  
Sirius grinned wickedly. "Ah, of course...."  
  
"Evans...." hissed James, tapping her sharply on the shoulder. "Hullo, Evans...." She ignored him and continued writing her notes – exasperated, James leaned back on his chair and gazed absently at the ceiling. Professor McGonagall wasn't due for another ten minutes, and in the meantime he was growing increasingly bored.  
With a sigh he leaned back even farther on his chair, so that he was balancing on the back two legs. "....The Goblin Rebellion of 1612 was particularly insurgent for several reasons...." droned Professor Binns' voice. Yawning, James turned around in his seat to look at Sirius.  
With a deafening CRASH! he lost his balance and toppled to the floor – Lily Evans, whose chair he had grabbed in a desperate effort to keep himself from falling, tumbled down beside him.  
"Sorry," he said, grinning and standing up. She glared at him furiously.  
"First you change me into a midget with that insane potion of yours, then you send me crashing to the floor," she said heatedly, her voice growing steadily louder, "Interrupting my notes, which Binns hinted might be on the final...."  
"He hinted that?" said James, sounding surprised. "I thought all the bloke did was ramble on about goblin rebellions...."  
"Well perhaps if you would ever deign to listen you would notice something." she said scathingly. "But of course James Potter would never lower himself to actually paying attention in class...."  
"I pay attention!"  
"Really? Well then, what was the last thing Professor Binns said before you made me fall over?"  
"Um, something about a goblin rebellion."  
"I can see how scrupulous you've been about keeping notes." she said sarcastically. "'Something about a goblin rebellion', honestly....We've been learning about them since the start of term."  
"So I was right then!" he said gleefully.  
She sat down huffily and didn't bother to answer. "What's her problem?" James mouthed to Sirius, who was sitting across the room. Sirius shrugged.  
"....The goblin leader, Grimwold...."  
"Good day, Professor Binns." Professor McGonagall stood in the doorway, her graying hair tied back in a strict bun, her sharp eyes glancing keenly around from behind square-rimmed spectacles.  
Professor Binns, not noticing her, continued droning on. Several of the students laughed – Professor McGonagall cleared her throat loudly and entered the room.  
"Wha-? Oh, hello, Miranda..."  
"Minerva. I was to supervise this class; Professor Dumbledore wishes to make a class assessment...."  
"Oh, yes, of course." He looked slightly disconcerted at being interrupted. "Well, as I was saying...." He continued to ramble on as Professor McGonagall took a seat at the back of the class, right in front of Sirius and Remus.  
Sirius grinned – Remus eyed him apprehensively but didn't say anything. Whipping out a book of charms he had taken from the Room of Requirement, he flipped hastily to page 234 – Narcissus' Hair Dyeing Charm.  
"What are you doing?" hissed Remus under his breath. Ignoring him, Sirius drew his wand and hastily skimmed the page.  
"Vibrissa rubicura." he muttered, flicking his wand at Professor McGonagall's head. Her hair immediately turned a brilliant shade of fuchsia. He let out a loud bark of laughter – she turned around sharply and frowned.  
"What is the matter, Mr. Black?" she said curtly.  
"Oh, nothing, Professor," he said, trying (with increasing difficulty) to keep a straight face. "I was merely laughing at the stupidity of the goblins Professor Binns is telling us about...."  
"'Stupidity?'" she repeated, raising an eyebrow. "And what, may I ask, were the goblins doing that was so stupid?"  
"Erm...,"  
"That they chose to make their headquarters at the Three Broomsticks," cut in Remus quickly. "We both found it, um, amusing that they would decide to make the site of their operations so close to Hogwarts and within the only all-magical community in Britain, where they could easily be repulsed."  
Professor McGonagall eyed him approvingly. "Very good, Mr. Lupin." she said, ignoring Sirius, who had once more burst out laughing. "I see you, at least, have been paying attention. Ten points to Gryffindor."  
She turned to face Professor Binns once more, and, leaning over his desk, Remus muttered under his breath "You owe me one, you know." Sirius laughed again.  
"Yeah thanks. Don't see how you could've known about that – I was about to fall asleep before McGonagall came in. At least now we have some entertainment...."  
"Sirius, do you have any idea how many detentions she's going to give you when she finds out you dyed her hair pink?"  
"She'll love it – it makes her look so much younger." snickered Sirius, flipping once more through the book. "Oh, this one is perfect...."  
Remus leaned over even farther to look at the spell Sirius had unearthed now. "Oh, Sirius, don't – "he began, but was cut off sharply as Sirius pointed his wand once more at Professor McGonagall's hair and murmured "Esquilo cavillari."  
Her hair, still dyed shocking fuchsia, burst from its strict bun and rearranged itself on her head until it was in the shape of what was unmistakably a squirrel.  
James, Sirius, and Peter all burst out laughing – Remus did nothing, as he looked too horrified to speak. Professor McGonagall again spun around furiously. "Mr. Black, I really must insist you – Mr. Lupin, is something the matter? You look like you're about to be ill...."  
"I, I...no, Professor, I'm fine...," he said weakly. "It's just...nothing...." She frowned.  
"Indeed? Well then, would you care to tell me what your friends are laughing at?"  
"I don't, don't know, Professor McGonagall...,"  
She snorted and turned to face Sirius. "Would you care to explain yourself then, Mr. Black?"  
"Professor McGonagall?!" interrupted Lily, shocked. "What, what happened to your hair? It, it looks like a beaver...."  
"Not a beaver, you prat." said Sirius disgustedly. "It's a squirrel. Look, you can see the bushy tail right there, and here it's holding an acorn...."  
"WHAT??!!!" shrieked Professor McGonagall, silencing the entire class (including Professor Binns, who through it all had been continued rambling on about his Goblin Rebellions). "YOU TURNED MY HAIR INTO A, INTO A – "  
"A squirrel!" chipped in James helpfully. Sirius was once more laughing, delighted at enraging Professor McGonagall so that she had broken out of her habitual coolness, while Remus shrank backwards into his seat and Peter grinned hesitantly, as though unsure of whether to be amused or horrified. "It's a rather nice squirrel too," James continued, ignoring his teacher's furious glares. "Quite a violent shade of fuchsia – makes you look at least half your age...."  
"Detentions, all four of you." said Professor McGonagall, in a voice of forced calm. "Report to my office tonight, immediately after dinner." Standing up, she strode swiftly out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

_**A/N**_ - And so ends chapter 8, with our beloved characters once more in detention. They do seem to have a knack for that, don't they? Anyway, I hope you liked it at least a bit and PLEASE review, 'cause the first quidditch game is coming up soon!

**Padfoot** - I don't think you ever finished reading this chapter, did you? Hope you like it =).

_Whoever gave me my 14th review_ - your review hasn't popped up on the screen yet, but thank you for reviewing, whoever you are. Hope you like this chapter.


	10. Chapter 9

_A/N_ - Hey everybody! I'm _finally_ back from another mini-vacation (again without internet), and so I can finally update! Thank you all for reviewing - I love reading all of them =).

Just in case anybody forgot and was thinking about sueing me, the disclaimer in chapter 3 went for all chapters.

Anyway, here's chapter 9. Enjoy!

Chapter 9  
  
"First quidditch game of the season, this Saturday at noon!" announced James loudly, collapsing onto the bench next to Sirius and taking a large swig of pumpkin juice. "Ravenclaw versus Slytherin."  
"Good," said Remus vaguely, thoroughly engrossed in the _Standard Book of Spells, Grade One_. James snorted.  
"Really Remus, you should read something a little more challenging."  
"Right," said Remus, clearly not paying attention. Rolling his eyes, James turned to talk to Sirius.  
"Where'd you find that spell you did on McGonagall today, during History of Magic?"  
Sirius grinned. "Took it from that 'Room of Requirement' place. Can't see why she didn't like it – I thought it complemented her perfectly."  
"Then I must say your idea of 'complementary' is rather distorted." commented Remus mildly, putting his book down and pouring himself a glass of pumpkin juice. "You turned her hair bright pink and changed it into a squirrel."  
"But it was a cute squirrel!" protested Sirius, grabbing a roll. "And I think fuchsia is definitely her color...."  
"Sirius, people generally don't appreciate it if you go around dyeing their hair and changing it into small mammals."  
"But it's funny!"  
Deciding not to comment, Remus finished his glass of pumpkin juice and stood up. "You two might want to hurry up, we should be at Professor's McGonagall's office in five minutes." he said, tucking his book under his arm. "By the way, have either of you seen Peter lately?"  
"Nope," said James offhandedly. "Not since History of Magic."  
"Oh, alright then," said Remus, sounding slightly concerned. "I hope he remembers we have detention tonight....Hello, Lily." Lily Evans was walking down the aisle between the tables – her face was livid.  
Lily ignored Remus and strode up to Sirius. "Why were you hexing Professor McGonagall during History of Magic today?" she said heatedly.  
"Because it was funny." said Sirius, as though this should have been obvious. Lily glowered at him.  
"Well thanks to you and your little bit of 'fun' I missed more than half of his notes today, which he said were going to be on the final – "  
"Really?" said Sirius, sounding surprised. "Didn't know the chap talked about anything other than goblin rebellions....Anyway, don't see what you're making such a fuss about. You're going to get a perfect score on the final anyway."  
"Does it ever occur to you that some people actually care about their grades, Black?" she said contemptuously. "Up until now my notes have been perfectly thorough and _now_, thanks to you and Potter, I have to spend all of Saturday at the library doing research."  
"Well, at least you like to research stuff." said James helpfully. She glared at him.  
"You insolent little – "  
"Look, Lily," interrupted Remus hastily, "We have to go, we have detentions and we're supposed to meet Professor McGonagall at her office in a minute."  
Glaring once more at Sirius and James, Lily turned and strode quickly back down the table. James shook his head despairingly. "Why doesn't she like me?" he asked gloomily, standing up to join Remus and Sirius as they walked hurriedly past the tables and towards the entrance hall.  
"I mean," he continued, running his fingers through his already untidy black hair, "I never did anything to her, did I?"  
"James, you need to stop getting so worked up about her!" said Sirius, apparently worried about his friend's sanity. "Honestly mate, you're starting to become really – "  
"You better not be about to say 'obsessed.'" broke in James warningly. "Because if you are I might have to hex you...." Sirius laughed.  
"Alright then, infatuated."  
"Sirius, that would be the same thing," said Remus, glancing back over his shoulder.  
"Exactly."  
"Ah, Potter, Black, Lupin – good." They had reached the door to Professor McGonagall's office; she stood at the doorway, her hair once more in its usual severe bun. "And where is Mr. Pettigrew, may I ask?"  
"No idea." said James breezily. She frowned.  
"We haven't seen him since History of Magic," added Remus hastily. "But I'm sure if you told us what our detentions are we could find him and tell him...."  
"Very well then." she said curtly. "Tonight at dinner Miss Evans informed me that as a consequence of your antics she was able to take less than half of the notes which Professor Binns gave to you today. Therefore, as your punishment, you will meet her in the Library this Saturday and – "  
"But Professor, the first quidditch game of the season is on Saturday!" interrupted James hurriedly. "You can't – "  
"I very well can, Mr. Potter. On Saturday you will assist Miss Evans in taking notes from what you missed today during class. You are dismissed."  
James gaped at her. "But, Professor – "  
"I said you were dismissed, Mr. Potter."  
"But – "  
"Unless you wish to miss the next quidditch match as well, I suggest you leave." she said brusquely. Sirius and Remus grabbed hold of James' arms and dragged him from the office – he was still gaping disbelievingly at Professor McGonagall.  
"She, she can't do that...." he said weakly, leaning on Sirius' arm for support. "That...she...she can't...."  
"She can and has, mate." said Sirius solemnly.  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Well, personally, I believe we got of rather easy." he said. Sirius and James stared at him incredulously.  
"Remus, it's _quidditch_!" said James, shaking his head as though appalled at Remus' lack of understanding. "It...it's like..._quidditch_!"  
Remus rolled his eyes. "James, it's just a game! And besides, Gryffindor isn't even playing."  
"And that matters because...."  
Remus glanced at them, annoyed. "You two can sit here and wallow in self-pity all you like, but I'm going to go find Peter." Turning, he strode briskly down the hall and out of sight.  
  
"Really James, I'm sure you'll survive." said Remus bracingly, noticing as James glanced wistfully at the Slytherin and Ravenclaw players now filing from the Great Hall. "It's just a quidditch match, it's not like you haven't seen one before."  
James, who had long since given up trying to make Remus understand the importance of quidditch, merely shook his head and poked forlornly at his breakfast.  
Lily Evans strode over to them, a bag full of spare parchment, books, and quills slung over her shoulder. "Professor McGonagall told me this morning you were going to help me in the library today," she said briskly, sitting down next to Sirius and gazing concernedly across the table at James. "Are you alright?"  
"He's fine." said Remus quickly. "So, what exactly do you need help with?"  
"Well," she said, rummaging through her bag and pulling out several large, leather-bound books, "I was thinking that we would just research those notes he gave us in class – Professor McGonagall gave me an overview of which ones those were, so it shouldn't take very long. Then I was thinking we could start on our Charms homework...."  
"Could we go to the quidditch game instead?" interrupted Sirius, who was nearly as upset about missing the match as James was. "We could hurry up and do that History stuff, we might be able to catch the ending...."  
Lily frowned at him. "Black, the whole point of you helping me is that it's supposed to be a punishment. And besides, the Charms essay is due tomorrow and I know none of you have finished."  
"That's because it's supposed to be 18 inches long." said Peter gloomily. "How are we supposed to write 18 inches on sinking charms?"  
"Write big." said Sirius through a mouthful of bacon. Lily looked scandalized.  
"But there's so much information on them! I have 21 inches so far and I haven't even gotten to how they compare with levitation charms yet."  
"Know-it-all." said Sirius under his breath; Lily, who hadn't heard him, stood up and swung her bag over her shoulder once more.  
"See you in a few minutes, then." she said, turning and striding down the Hall. Remus stood up too.  
"You know, we really should be going." he said, glancing down at his watch. Sirius sighed and stood up – Peter hurried to follow suit. James, who seemed to have entered some sort of trance, was poking his fork absently at the table and appeared oblivious to his friends.  
"James? Hullo...?" said Sirius, waving his hand in front of his friend's face. James didn't even blink; shaking his head sadly, Sirius grabbed one of Remus' heavier books and whacked James over the head with it.  
"ARGH!" yelled James, sitting straight up in his seat as Sirius jumped back, snickering. "YOU EVIL **GIT**!!!" Snatching up a glass of pumpkin juice, he threw it at Sirius, who ducked, so that it hit Professor Cattivo, who was striding past him, instead.  
Eyes glittering menacingly, Professor Cattivo waved her wand so that the smashed glass and spilled juice disappeared, then raised it so it pointed straight at James. "You threw this, Potter?" she said softly.  
James, trying to smile winningly at the Potions master while simultaneously glaring at Sirius, replied "Well, not intentionally, Professor." She raised an eyebrow.  
"'Not intentionally?' How can you throw a glass on accident?"  
"Well, it wasn't exactly an accident...."  
"Meaning you meant to throw it at me?" she said, hiding a smirk of triumph behind her customary scowl.  
"No, he was trying to throw it at me!" said Sirius brightly, straightening up. "But he's got such awful aim that he missed...."  
"I do not have awful aim!" interrupted James, insulted. "You just got lucky."  
"You really shouldn't interrupt when I'm trying to stick up for you," said Sirius over his shoulder.  
"I have excellent aim," conintued James, choosing to ignore Sirius' latest comments. "Nearly always hit who I'm trying for...."  
"Meaning you were 'trying' to hit me." said Professor Cattivo smoothly. "Detention, Potter. Be at my office tomorrow night at seven. You too, Black." Lowering her wand, she put it swiftly back into her pocket and continued striding down the Hall.  
Sirius shook his head mournfully. "All these detentions you're pulling me into, Potter." he said sadly, ducking as James aimed a bowl of fruit at his head.

_A/N_ - And so ends chapter 9, on the verge of the first quidditch game of the season. Quite a cliffhanger, isn't it? =) Sorry it's not longer - I promise the next chappie will be. And now, to thank my reviewers -

**BluePhoenixFire** - The mysterious 14th reviewer! Hopefully you aren't getting totally fed-up with my slowness at updating - at the moment I'm suffering from a nasty bout of writer's block, =( but fortunately I have finished through chapter 14 and started chapter 15, so it won't affect the updating (hopefully). Anyway, glad you like the story and keep reviewing!

**Crackers** - No idea what I'd do - whenever I start laughing at stories my family looks at me like I'm insane and then ignores me.

Good-bye for now. I'll update soon if you keep reviewing!


	11. Chapter 10

_A/N_ - Hello everybody! This is going to be my last update for at least a week, just so you know ahead of time.

I was reading through chapter 9 a while ago and noticed a mistake - if the quidditch game is on Saturday then their charms essay would be due on Sunday, which isn't possible since they don't have class on Sunday. I don't think anybody really cares, but, well...yeah.

Anyway, here's chapter 10!

Chapter 10  
  
"Lily?" called Remus, glancing around the library as his friends filed in after him. "Lily, it's us...."  
"Hello," she said, emerging from between two large shelves with her arms laden with books. "Could you take these....Thanks."  
"I thought we only missed half the period," said Sirius, staggering under the weight of the books Lily had thrust at him. "How many books do we need?"  
"More, probably."  
Peter and Sirius groaned; James, meanwhile, had wandered over towards one of the large, mullioned windows and was gazing out, depressed. "You can only see a corner of the field from here," he called to Sirius, who dropped the books on the nearest table and strode over to join him. "Stupid tree's blocking the rest of it...."  
"James, we're supposed to be researching, not watching quidditch!" said Lily severely.  
"Why, you're the only one who ever bothers to take notes anyway...,"  
"Look," interceded Remus quickly, "Lily's right, we're supposed to be researching – if Professor McGonagall finds out that we weren't I'm sure she'd be furious."  
"But I'm her favorite student!" said James earnestly. Lily snorted.  
"Potter, you're the bane of her existence. Now, could we please just do this research?" Still trying to figure out what Lily had said, James and Sirius walked obediently over to the table of books and sat down.  
Peter, gazing forlornly at a particularly large book entitled _Leaders of the 17th Century Goblin Rebellions of Britain_, sat down next to Remus and Lily. "So, what are we looking for?" he asked dejectedly.  
"Well, from what I _managed_ to pick up," said Lily, glaring at James and Sirius, "He was giving us notes on the uprising of 1612, particularly on the group lead by Grimwold. Obviously that was one of the more well- known revolts, so I thought we should divide what we already know about it into five categories, and then each of us could research one. At the end we could then share notes and copy down important facts that the others have found. Is that okay with everybody?"  
James, who was beginning to doze off, was prodded awake by Sirius. "Wha-?" he asked blearily, rubbing his eyes. "Oh, yeah...that, that's fine...."  
Narrowing her eyes, Lily stood up and stalked over to the bookshelves to find more books.  
  
"Done!" said Sirius brightly, finishing his last letter with a flourish and shoving it across the table towards Lily. "Can I go now?"  
Lily took the parchment and frowned. "Black, all you've written is that Grimwold was a goblin who led a revolt somewhere in Britain."  
"Well, you said we didn't need to include the finer points."  
"Black, you've been reading for at least fifteen minutes, you should have gotten _something _by now. Here, let me see your book." Before Sirius could protest she snatched up the book he had been reading.  
She narrowed her eyes and frowned at him. "Catalogs for Zonkos Joke Shop? Well, I can certainly see the effort you put into taking notes." she said sarcastically. "Go find some real books, Black. I really don't fancy being here all day." Throwing the parchment back at Sirius, she bent once more over her own work.  
Grumbling loudly, Sirius stood up and walked over to the nearest bookcase. James jumped up hurriedly and followed him, pulling him behind a particularly thick shelf. "Reckon we could sneak out and go to the match?" he said under his breath. Sirius shook his head.  
"Nah, Evans would catch us." he said disgustedly. "I still can't believe McGonagall hates us enough to make us research loony old goblins with _her_....I don't think she'd let me leave even if I was dying."  
"That's it!" said James, a fanatical gleam appearing suddenly in his eye.  
"What's what?" asked Sirius, confused.  
"Dying! We can tell her we're really, really_ ill_, or something, and we have to go to the Hospital Wing. Then, instead of going to the Hospital Wing, we go to the – "  
"– Quidditch match." finished Sirius. "But James, she'd know we were lying." James shrugged.  
"Well, it's worth a shot."  
"Wait, I have a better idea. Why don't we tip one of these bookshelves over 'trying' to get a book, then one of us gets a broken leg and the other escorts him to the Hospital Wing?" said Sirius, thinking hard.  
"Brilliant!" said James, grinning. "Can I be the one with the broken leg?"  
"Yeah, sure. Ready? Let's do 'cadere', then, on the count of three. One... two...three – _cadere_!" They stepped backwards simultaneously as the bookshelf in front of them wobbled and fell over.  
"AAHHH!" yelled James, falling to the ground and gripping his right leg in apparent agony. "AAHHH! HELP ME! I'M DYING!!!"  
"James, I think you're laying it on a bit thick," whispered Sirius, trying not to grin. James shrugged slightly before continuing to scream. Raising his voice, Sirius shouted, "Oi! Lily! Remus! Come help, James did something to his leg!"  
Lily, Remus, and Peter hurried over, closely followed by the librarian, Madam Pince. "I – THINK – IT'S – BROKEN...." gasped James, rolling his eyes back theatrically. "SIRIUS – TRYING – TO GET – BOOK – TIPPED OVER...."  
Lily dropped to the ground beside James and began to feel his leg. "James, it doesn't feel like it's – "she began, but stopped abruptly as James grabbed her hand and gazed pleadingly at her.  
"Please – forgive – me...." he whispered, eyes filling with tears. "Remember me – when – I'm dead...." Lily finally cracked.  
"Oh, alright then." she said irritably, standing up. "Remus, would you take him to the Hospital Wing?"  
"No, I will!" said Sirius quickly, jumping to his feet. "I mean, it's the least I can do," he added hastily, "Seeing as how I'm the one who tipped the thing over on him in the first place...."  
"Whatever." said Lily impatiently. "Just be quick about it, alright? Come back as soon as Madam Pomfrey heals him...."  
"Right-o." said Sirius cheerfully, grabbing James' arms and dragging him towards the exit.  
"I'll never forget you, Lily!" shrieked James, heaving huge, fake sobs as Sirius hauled him towards the door. "Never!"  
  
"She's going to go absolutely _insane_ when she finds out we went to the match instead of the Hospital Wing," laughed Sirius, pulling open one of the windows open to let in some fresh air. "Especially after your brilliant little performance there at the end – 'I'll never forget you, Lily!'" he screeched, adopting a high-pitched, girlish voice. "'Remember me when I'm dead!'"  
James, digging through his trunk to find his invisibility cloak, laughed as well. "Yeah, well, at least now we know she likes me a bit," he said, throwing a bit of dried meat to Lily the Dragon, who gobbled it up instantly. "I mean, she let me go to the Hospital Wing rather than die...."  
"Bet she just didn't want to hear you screaming." sniggered Sirius. "'Oh Lily my love, I beg you to forgive me...!'"  
"Oh, shut up." said James, his face reddening slightly. "Ouch! Stupid dragon!" Lily had sunk her tiny, razor-sharp teeth into James' hand, which was still in her cage. "Get off me, you insane little fluff ball!" Sirius laughed.  
"Just like the Namesake, eh James?"  
"This isn't funny, Sirius! She's trying to bite my hand off!"  
"Well why don't you take your hand _out _of the cage?"  
"I'm trying but it's stuck!" Sirius laughed again.  
"You're not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, are you? Wait, no, don't – "James had opened the door of the cage to get his hand out – bugling triumphantly, Lily the Dragon shot out past him and careened through the still-open window.  
Dashing over to the window, Sirius stuck his wand out and yelled "Accio dragon!" Lily dodged the spell easily and began to soar meanderingly towards the quidditch pitch. Sirius turned towards James, his face white. "You don't happen to have a broomstick on you, do you?"  
"Well, I borrowed one a few days ago and, er, forgot to give it back, but we'd never – "  
"James, she's headed towards the quidditch pitch!"  
"Sirius, we could never fit both of us on a broomstick, especially with the invisibility cloak!"  
"But we told McGonagall that we'd gotten rid of her, remember! If she finds out that we kept her in our dormitory...." Sirius gulped and fell silent.  
"Oh, alright." sighed James, crawling under his bed to retrieve the broomstick. "But be it on your head if we're expelled...."  
  
Remus bent over his work, trying to ignore Peter, who was whistling tunelessly. Sighing, he glanced hopefully towards the doorway, though he suspected that James and Sirius had taken a detour on their way to the Hospital Wing.  
"Where are they?!" burst out Lily impatiently, throwing down her book and striding towards the door. "They should have been back ten minutes ago, Madam Pomfrey can fix broken bones in an instant...."  
"I'm sure they'll be back soon...," said Remus hurriedly, jumping out of his seat to stand between Lily and the door. "Maybe his leg was, um, worse than we thought...."  
Lily narrowed her eyes. "I felt his leg, there wasn't any break." she said suspiciously. "Oh, if they went to the quidditch game instead...."  
"James and Sirius wouldn't do that...," said Remus, in a tone that didn't convince anybody.  
"No, they would never even _dream_ of doing that, being such meek, rule- abiding students." said Lily sarcastically. "I'm going to see if they're at the Hospital Wing."  
Lily moved forward as though to step around Remus, but right as she did so a scream, apparently coming from outside the Library window, broke the air. "AAAHHHH!!!!! SIRIUS!!!!!" As one Lily, Remus, and Peter swiveled around and dashed to the window.  
An apparently rider-less broomstick was lurching through the air outside of the window, nearly colliding with the castle as it spun wildly through the air. "YOU INSANE PYSCHOPATH!!! NO, PULL UP!!!" The broom shot suddenly upwards, then a moment later came hurtling back down.  
Lily stood as though frozen to the spot. "Er, yes..." said Remus quickly, grabbing her arm and trying to pull her from the window. "Perhaps we'd best..."  
"**POTTER!!!**" she bellowed, her face going bright red. "**BLACK!!!**" Peter squealed and darted quickly behind Remus, who was glancing apologetically at Madam Pince.  
The broomstick drew suddenly to a halt. "Now you've done it...." hissed Sirius' voice rather loudly. "Gone and shouted inches from the window....I told you she wasn't under the Confundus Charm, but of course you don't listen to me...."  
"Well if you hadn't been on your little joyride and had actually gone to the quidditch pitch...."  
"You know Lily," said Remus loudly, hoping desperately that Sirius and James heard him, "I'm sure that Professor McGonagall will be eager to punish them after the match. I mean, seeing as how their DISEMBODIED VOICES ARE FLOATING THROUGH THE WINDOW FROM AN EMPTY BROOMSTICK...."  
"Oops, forgot about that." said James pensively. "Well, at least now we can convince her later that she was hallucinating...." The broomstick swerved slightly upwards before shooting off towards the quidditch field.  
  
"– Bringing the score to a hundred to nothing, Ravenclaw!" shouted Sturgis Podmore, his voice magically amplified to boom throughout the stadium. "And a lousy attempt made by Malfoy, the Slytherin chaser, to steal the quaffle – and it's passed to Lovegood, a chaser for Ravenclaw, who takes it and SCORES!" The pitch echoed with the sound of hundreds of students cheering – James, already struggling to keep his balance on the overburdened broomstick, was nearly knocked off.  
"See her anywhere?" muttered Sirius, gazing searchingly around the field. "'Cause I don't...."  
"Look, it's the snitch!" said James excitedly. "Let's catch it!"  
"James, I think everybody would find it a bit strange if the snitch suddenly disappeared into thin air near a rider-less broomstick...," hissed Sirius, eyes still darting around the stadium. "Now if you would please help me – "  
"– And Malfoy drops the quaffle, apparently hit in the face with a white, fluffy bludger that has sprouted wings!" bellowed Sturgis Podmore, jumping to his feet excitedly. "And good riddance too, the arrogant, cheating – no, I was just kidding, Professor McGonagall! And the bludger, no doubt tampered with by a zealous fan – good on you, mate! – heads next towards the beater Zambini...."  
Sirius and James exchanged one horrified glance. "Lily!" said James, his face going white. "Oh, McGonagall's going to _kill_ us...."  
"– And Zambini drops his club and soars off to the other end of the pitch, still being trailed by the bludger. Bloody good idea, whoever did it – oh, yes, sorry Professor. And an admirable save by Boot, who throws the quaffle to Goldstein...."  
Sirius leaned forward and the broomstick shot straight into the middle of the pitch.  
"You know, I think I'm getting better at this!" said Sirius, sounding impressed with himself. Just then an actual bludger shot towards them. "AAHHH!!!!" shrieked Sirius, shooting straight upwards and managing to once more lose control over the broom.  
"– McKinnon is knocked clean off her broom, apparently struck from behind by a rogue broomstick! And said broomstick now heads towards Wilkes, who manages to avoid it through a neatly timed roll – "  
"Next – time – "shouted James, as they performed a loop-the-loop and began to spiral tightly upwards, "I – am – steering!"  
"– And Zambini, still being followed by the bludger, zooms past the rogue broomstick, narrowly avoiding a collision as – "  
"Get Lily, James!" shouted Sirius, turning around and pushing his friend onto the Slytherin's broomstick. "Meet you at the Hospital Wing!"  
"Sirius, what in God's name are you – "  
"And a person appears suddenly on the aforethought rider-less broomstick!" shouted Sturgis. "I can't tell exactly who he is, but from the looks of it he's a first year...."  
"ARGH!" shrieked Zambini, swerving sharply to the left so that James had to grab onto his robes to keep from falling off. "Get off me, or I'll – "  
"Oh, shut it, you." said James impatiently. Zambini screeched, if anything, louder. James winced. "Didn't know anybody could scream like that....Look, I'm just trying to get my pet dragon, if you veer to the right, climb a few feet, and shut up I'll leave you alone."  
"W-who are you?" asked Zambini, frightened, as he hastened to obey James. James grinned.  
"Nobody, really – you're hallucinating. Now hurry up, I need to get to the Hospital Wing or McGonagall will kill me."  
"– The bludger appears to have pulled ahead of Zambini, but no doubt due to recurring fits of sudden insanity, Zambini has – it was a joke, Professor! – decided to chase it down. And he's going for it, going for it – five galleons he misses it – of course I was kidding, Professor! And he's gone past it – five galleons to me! – But wait; no, I don't believe it! It's disappeared! The bludger's gone!"  
James let out a loud whoop unheard by everyone other than Zambini, who now looked as though he was going to faint. "Thank you very much!" said James delightedly, attempting to pull out his wand while simultaneously holding a struggling Lily under his arm. "Now if you would be so kind as to fly over those stands there – lower...lower....Bye!" Still grasping Lily firmly, James pushed forward with all his might and sent Zambini tumbling from the broom into the stands. "Remember, it was all a hallucination!" called James, casting the full-body bind on Lily before turning back to shout at the Slytherin beater. "None of this ever really happened...!"  
  
"Oh, I'm going to kill them...." raged Lily, storming down the hall, Remus and Peter struggling to catch up with her. "I knew he was lying, I knew it...Potter, I'm going to – "  
"Hello Lily!" called Sirius cheerfully. "How're the goblin notes coming?" She stopped dead in her tracks, staring in horror at the sight before her. James was lying in a bed at the far end of the Hospital Wing; seeing Lily, Remus, and Peter enter, he lifted himself to a sitting position and grinned at them. Sirius was sitting next to him, a rather bedraggled pile of old magazines on the floor next to his feet.  
"Hey!" said James brightly. "So nice of you to drop by to see me...."  
"What are you – I heard you, _we_ heard you, on that broomstick outside the window...." stammered Lily.  
James frowned. "What do you mean, you heard us on a broomstick? We've been here the entire time...."  
Lily glanced desperately at Remus. "You heard them too, didn't you?"  
"I, er, don't know...." he said weakly, glancing at James and Sirius apologetically. "I don't think I did...."  
Face growing redder and redder, Lily turned to face Peter, who was cowering behind Remus. "I d-didn't hear any, anything, Lily...," he squeaked, glancing up at Remus for support. "N-nothing...."  
"Are you feeling alright, Evans?" asked Sirius, sounding concerned. "'Cause it sounds like you've been hallucinating...."  
"I have _not_ been hallucinating!" she shouted hotly, hands clenched. "You two were there, I know it!"  
"No, I swear Professor; the voice really told me that it had to get its pet dragon!"  
The four boys and Lily turned towards the doorway – Professor Cattivo was dragging in a gibbering Zambini, who was still clutching his beater's club. "He seems to think that an invisible person ordered him to capture a dragon." Professor Cattivo informed Madam Pomfrey, who had bustled over, looking worried. "I daresay you'll want to see him...." She dumped Zambini on the nearest bed and strode out of the Wing.  
Lily turned to glare suspiciously at James, who was hard pressed to keep a straight face. "'Pet dragon?' That couldn't _possibly_ have anything to do with your little monster, could it?"  
"Now Lily," said James admonishingly, "Whatever gave you that idea?"

_A/N_ - Did you like it? I hope you did, it took quite a while to write. I was originally going to have Mungdungus doing the commentary, but I am REALLY bad at accents so I switched to Sturgis.

And now, to thank my reviewers -

**BluePhoenixFire** - My writer's block finally went away today! Yay! I'm working on chapter 15 and it's now nearly finished, though my Mom's upset because I've been writing all morning. Oh well.

**kay345** - Glad you think so =)

That's it, I think....Anyway, I'll update as soon as possible if I get up to at least twenty reviews. And next update - our three favorite marauders and the annoying tag-along rat find their first secret passageway!


	12. Chapter 11

_A/N_ - Hey everybody! Thank you so much for all the reviews - I wasn't expecting nearly that many! =) Anyway, here's chapter 11!

Chapter 11

"I still can't believe you two got away with that." said Remus, disgruntled. Crumbling up a used piece of parchment, he tossed it in the fire and turned once more towards James. "I thought for sure Professor McGonagall or Lily would've caught you…."

"Nah, not us." said James, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he placed another card on top of his castle of Exploding Snap. He looked up and grinned cockily at Remus. "In case you haven't noticed, we get away with _everything_."

"Modest, aren't you…"

"Oh, what's the point of being modest and humble and all that other rubbish? And anyways, I'm telling the truth. We _haven't _ever gotten caught."

"Luck."

"Nah, it's talent. World's best troublemakers!"

Remus laughed. "If you say so." The portrait hole opened and Sirius and Peter walked in, their arms laden with food.

"You know, I don't think it's a good sign that the house elves are starting to learn our names…." said Sirius, tossing James and Remus each a bottle of butterbeer.

"Where'd you get this?" asked Remus interestedly, eyeing the bottle that Sirius had thrown at him. "I didn't know they had this in the Kitchens…."

Sirius smirked. "One of the house elves became chummy with Peter here and showed us this huge hidden stash of it they have – apparently one of the teachers has rather a fondness for them. They also have this massive drawer full of these muggle sweets – Peter has some, look." Fishing through the pile of food which Peter had dumped on the low wooden table, Sirius drew out two small plastic bags and tossed them to James and Remus.

"'Lemon Drops.'" read James, frowning. "What in the world are – ARGH!" His castle of Exploding Snap blew up, singeing his eyebrows and blackening the packet of lemon drops in his hand.

"Lovely look, James. I could burn your hair off to go with it, if you like…."

"Oh, shut up, Sirius." said James, throwing the packet of sweets at his friend and hitting him in the middle of the face. "Yay, ten points to me…!"

"You know, these are actually rather good." commented Remus mildly, looking up from his homework to taste one of the lemon drops. "Wonder which teacher they're for…."

"Who cares?" asked Sirius, scrubbing at the large black smudge on his forehead that marked the spot where the candies had hit them. "What I'd like to know is where the house elves got them."

"Hogsmeade, probably." shrugged Remus.

"Exactly!" said Sirius, eyes shining in anticipation.

"Um, exactly what?" asked Peter, confused.

"There's got to be a way for the house elves to get into Hogsmeade!" said Sirius excitedly, impatient with the others' lack of understanding. "A secret passage, probably…."

"Don't you think it's more likely that they just _walk_ there, Sirius?" asked Remus, grinning, while James laughed.

"Well, why don't we go ask them?" said Sirius, irritated. "We can use James' cloak, and I'm sure the elves will be jumping all over themselves to tell us how they get the stuff…." Seeing James and Remus hesitate, he grinned and added "Surely you aren't afraid of _detention_?" __

"Sirius, we have an Astronomy test tomorrow and you haven't studied at all…" said Remus, selecting another lemon drop to eat. Sirius gazed at him, appalled.

"Are you suggesting we _study_ rather than _explore_? Now Remus, do you honestly think that passing Astronomy is even **near** as important as finding secret passageways? How on earth is _Astronomy_ going to help us in the future?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "And marauding about the castle after dark is such an important skill…."

"Never fear Remus – we shall cure you of this Lily-ish-ness soon enough." declared Sirius loudly, and before Remus could protest he and James had pinned his arms to his sides and dragged him to the portrait hole.

"Get the cloak, Peter!" called James before smirking down at Remus. "World's greatest troublemakers, remember?"

"I think we should have a name." proclaimed Sirius under his breath as the quartet made their way down the tunnel-like staircase, Remus still trapped between Sirius and James.

"Sirius, we do have names." hissed Remus. "And could you please move over a bit, I'm stifling…."

"I don't mean like each of our names, I mean a kind of group name. Better than that stupid one you and James came up with, anyway."

"Hey, I like that name!" said James, affecting to be hurt. "_I_ think it's wonderfully creative and original…." Sirius pretended to retch. "Well, you come up with a better name then, if you're so clever."

"What about that one Remus said? Right before we dragged him from the Common Room?"

"I never said anything." said Remus quickly.

"Yes you did, you said marauding around the castle was an important skill…."

"Yes, and I was being sarcastic…"

"Yeah, but it's still a cool name. The Marauders."

Remus shrugged. "Better than 'World's Greatest Troublemakers,' I suppose…."

"We're here." said Peter, stopping abruptly before a large painting of a bowl of fruit. "What do I do again?"

"Tickle the pear." said James casually, glancing down at his watch.

Peter hurried to comply – for a moment nothing happened, then the pear began to chuckle, squirm, and before their eyes it turned into a large brass doorknob.

"Time to find our first secret passageway!" said Sirius excitedly, taking off the cloak and thrusting it at James. "C'mon." Pulling open the picture, he clambered inside and waited impatiently for his friends to join him.

"Hello sirs!" squeaked a voice from somewhere around James' waist. "Back so soon, Passer sees! Oh, he is delighted, yes he is!"

"Er, hello…," said James, attempting to grin at the elf. "It's, um, nice to see you again…."

"Oh, and Passer is delighted to see young master again, yes he is!" squealed the elf happily. "Is there anything Passer can do for young master, anything at all?" The elf's large, dark brown eyes gazed anxiously up at him.

"Actually," interceded Sirius quickly, "We were wondering how you got the butterbeer and lemon drops." Passer looked slightly puzzled.

"From Hogsmeade, sir, we gets it from Hogsmeade." he chirped.

"Yes, but how do you _get_ to Hogsmeade?" asked Sirius hurriedly.

"Oh, we don't, good sir." replied the elf promptly. "The people form Hogsmeade, they sends it here to the Kitchens once a month, sir."

"See, I told you there were no secret passageways!" said Remus at once. "Now can we please go back up to the Common Room, I have a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay I have to finish…."

"Oh, there are passageways into Hogsmeade, yes there are!" interrupted Passer knowledgably. "But we doesn't use them sir, for they are very long and messy." The elf wrinkled his nose.

"See, I was right!" said Sirius excitedly, grabbing Passer, who looked rather bewildered, and dancing around enthusiastically. "I was right, I was right…."

Remus rolled his eyes. "That's wonderful Sirius, really wonderful. Now can we please go back up to the Common Room, I need to finish the –"

"Remus, are you a Marauder or not?" interrupted Sirius sternly.

"A what?"

"A Marauder." said Sirius proudly. "It's our new group name."

"And we decided this when…?"

"Oh, come on, Remus." said James exasperatedly. "Are you going to help us explore this passage or not?"

"Of course he is!" said Sirius brightly, before Remus could say anything. "Now come on, or we'll miss breakfast."

"'Breakfast?'" sputtered Peter. "What time is it?"

"Nearly two in the morning. Now come on, quit complaining." said James, handing the cloak back to Sirius before once more pinning Remus' arms to his side and marching him smartly towards the doorway. "Where's the passageway, Passer?"

"Which one, kind sir?" asked the elf brightly.

"Um, any one the teachers don't know about." said Sirius.

"There is two passages that they does not know of!" squeaked Passer.

"Well, the nearest one, then." said Sirius, bounding after James and Remus.

"On the third floor there is a statue," said Passer, sticking his head out of the doorway and lowering his voice, "Of a humpbacked, one-eyed witch. If you is to tap her hump and say 'dissendium,' the hump will open and you is able to walk in. Goodbye!" Passer waited for Peter to clamber through the doorway, then snapped the picture shut.

"Right," said James briskly, pulling the cloak back up over them. "Third floor it is then."

"Ow!" yelped Peter. "Sirius, that was my foot!"

"Sorry, but Remus is taking up all the room." muttered Sirius.

"I wouldn't be if James would just let go of my arms." grumbled Remus.

"Well, has your fit of Lily-ish-ness passed yet?" asked James.

"My fit of what?"

"Lily-ish-ness."

Remus sighed. "I'm not even going to ask."

"Here we are," whispered Sirius, stopping abruptly before a large statue of a humpbacked, one-eyed old witch. Pulling out his wand, he tapped her hump and murmured "Dissendium."

At once the hump opened, revealing a small, pitch-black hole. "Brilliant," whispered James, leaning around Sirius and Remus to peer into it. "Are we going down, then?"

"James, it's already 2:30 in the morning!" hissed Remus. "If we go to Hogsmeade now we're going to be late to some of our classes…."

"So?" said James and Sirius simultaneously.

"Why I even bother…." muttered Remus under his breath.

"I'll go first!" volunteered Sirius, eyes shining in anticipation. Slipping out from under the cloak and hoisting himself into the hole, he turned to grin cockily at the others. "See you at the bottom, then." He pushed himself down.

"What is it my precious?" called a hoarse voice from the end of the hall. James, Remus, and Peter froze – it was Filch, the caretaker, and his cat, Mrs. Norris.

"Does the cloak work on cats?" hissed Remus under his breath. James shrugged.

"No idea, but I really don't fancy staying to find out. C'mon, get in the hole." Ignoring Remus' protests, James shoved him forward and into the opening. "Don't worry, I'm sure there's nothing _too_ bad down there." he said, grinning as he prized Remus' fingers from the edge of the statue. "_Nothing – to – worry – about_…. Off you go!" With a final shove he had pushed Remus down the hole.

"Did you hear that, my love?" said Filch, now only a few yards behind them.

"You next, Peter!" said James hurriedly, dragging Peter, whose mousy face was chalk white, to the statue. "Hurry up, or Filch will catch us!"

"B-but, James…." squeaked Peter weakly, "I c-c-can't…."

James groaned. "First Remus, now you. Honestly Peter, what happened to your adventuring spirit?"

"I-I…."

"Never mind, just hurry up and get down there."

"B-but…"

"_Peter_…."

"F-fine, I'll, I'll go…." Eyes wide with fright, Peter nevertheless lowered himself into the opening and let himself drop down.

Crawling headfirst into the hole, James drew a deep breath and pushed himself forward.

He heard the hump close behind him as he slid down what seemed to be a steep, rough-hewn, stone slide. At last he landed on cold, squelchy earth – looking up, he saw his three friends standing above him, their wands lit. Peter looked frightened, Remus disgruntled, and Sirius excited.

"Filch didn't see you, did he?" asked Sirius, helping James to his feet.

"No, I don't think so. That mad cat of his must've smelled us…."

"Are we going, then?" asked Remus, taking the invisibility cloak from James. ""Cause if we really are going to go through with this mad plan of yours we should probably get a move on…."

"Knew you'd come 'round eventually, Remus." said James, grinning and clapping him on the back.

"The first adventure of the Marauders!" said Sirius enthusiastically, bounding forward down the dark, low passageway. James, Peter, and Remus hurried after him.

"We're here," whispered James, throwing out an arm to stop Sirius from climbing any further. "Look, there's some kind of door here…."

"Finally." grumbled Peter. "We've been climbing for ages…."

"Hold your wand up a bit, will you?" James asked Sirius, looking upwards at what seemed to be a trapdoor. Sirius complied – James shoved upwards and the door swung open.

James hoisted himself into what seemed to be a cellar – the dusty floor was littered with wooden boxes and crates, and a rickety wooden staircase stood a few yards away, apparently leading to the upstairs room.

Sirius pulled himself up beside James and took the invisibility cloak from Remus, who clambered up after him. Sirius stuck his head back through the doorway. "Your turn, Peter!"

Peter gazed up at him nervously. "I t-think I'll just, just wait h-here…," he muttered, cheeks going pink. Sirius frowned.

"What, all that walking and you're just going to stay here?" Peter shrugged uncomfortably and muttered something inaudible. "What?" asked Sirius.

"I, I don't t-think that I c-c-can climb out of, of here." mumbled Peter, face going scarlet. Sirius laughed.

"Really? But even Remus managed to climb out…."

"I heard that!" called Remus. Sirius sniggered.

"Hurry up, Peter – we're about to go up."

"I t-told you, I c-can't climb out!" said Peter hotly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and, ignoring Peter's protests, grabbed his arms and tried to pull him from the passageway.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" called James, glancing quizzically over at his friend. "You look like you're about to fall over…."

"I – shall – prevail!" gasped Sirius, trying vainly to pull Peter through the doorway. "He – will – come – up!"

"Sirius," said Remus, sounding alarmed, "Who exactly are you trying to pull up?"

Sirius cast a disgusted look over his shoulder. "Who do you think? Peter refuses to come up on his own accord, so I'm trying to drag him up!" Remus frowned and walked over to Sirius' side.

"Keep that up and you'll pull his arms out."

"Well, what do you suggest then, O brilliant one?"

"It would probably be a lot easier to just let _him_ climb out."

"He refuses to!" said Sirius indignantly. "I tried to make him but he said that he couldn't."

"Well it wouldn't hurt to try, would it?" said Remus pragmatically.

Sirius sighed and let go of his friend's arms. "Ok Peter, try and climb up!"

"I told you, I can't!" Peter wailed. Sirius glanced pointedly at Remus, as if to say _I told you so_.

James sauntered over, licking his fingers. "Figured out where we are!" he said, smirking. "Welcome to Honeydukes, gentlemen."

Peter squealed excitedly. Placing a pudgy hand on either side of the trapdoor, he clambered out, sweating slightly, and swung the door shut.

Remus smirked at Sirius, who frowned and said warningly "Say 'I told you so" and I will personally ensure that you get a week's worth of detentions with Cattivo."

Remus laughed, while Peter said breathlessly "This is Honeydukes? You're sure?"

"Positive." said James, smiling proudly. "All of these boxes? They're full of candy." Peter's face lit up and he darted over to the nearest crate. Remus frowned.

"You do know that's stealing, Peter." he said, watching as Peter stuffed his pockets with all of the sweets he could find. Peter glanced guiltily up at him.

"Well, yes, but…."

"C'mon, we can't stay here all night." said Sirius impatiently. "We still have to explore the rest of Hogsmeade!" Sirius leading the way, they filed up the rickety staircase and into the store.

_A/N_ - Like it? I hope you did, this one took a while to write. Anyway, responses to reviews are below =)

**BluePhoenixFire** - Thanks! Hope you like this chapter too.

**Misthea** - You really thought it was that funny? Oh, I'm so happy now! Cool name, by the way.

**Attic** - I'm glad you thought the characters were accurate - I was a bit worried they weren't. =) The quidditch announcer was Sturgis Podmore - I was going to do Mundungus but couldn't get his accent quite right. And no, I do not like Pettigrew. He killed Lily and James and had Sirius sent to Azkaban for 12 years! Who could like him?!

**Celebrean** - lol. Yeah, I know how you feel - up until recently my stash of money amounted to a grand total of $25 - very pathetic. Yeah, that chapter was updated differently from my normal chapters. Not weird, per say, but different.

**sundae** - Glad you liked it =). I'm definately going to finish this year (it's my goal for the summer) and am seriously thinking about doing a sequel, but I don't know after that.

**mydream** - Glad you could use this as inspiration =). And yes, dragons are awesome!

That's all for now, I think. Thank you everybody for reviewing and keep them coming! Oh, and by the way, happy belated 4th of July!


	13. Chapter 12

_A/N _- Hello everybody! I'm finally back from my summer house (it must've been 90 degrees out - ack!) Anyway, here's the next chappie - I warn you, it's not very good. At least, I don't think it is. I guess you'll just have to read it and decide for yourself! =)

Chapter 12

"So we've visited Honeydukes, Zonkos, and Dervish and Banges…," said Sirius, counting them off on his fingers. "Is there anywhere else to go?"

"Well, we could go into that tavern, the Three Broomsticks." suggested James, but Remus shook his head.

"James, it's nearly four in the morning – it will probably be opening soon, and we're really not supposed to be here. If we get caught…."

"How about the post office?" chimed in Peter.

"What, so we can look at a bunch of ruddy owls?" said Sirius disgustedly. "No, I say we go to the Shrieking Shack!"

Peter shivered. "That building that's supposed to be haunted?"

James grinned and lowered his voice dramatically. "A few weeks ago the villagers said they heard screams and howls coming from there. Nobody'll go near it – they say the ghosts and spirits that live there are malevolent, evil, and vindictive. You all right, Remus?" he added, seeing Remus' face going pale. Remus shook his head.

"Yes, I – I'm fine."

"Shrieking Shack it is, then!" said Sirius brightly, turning from the side road they had started to follow and striding towards a large, rather ominous-looking hill.

"Look, we really should be going now." said Remus as they trudged along the narrow, winding dirt road. "It's almost 4:15; we'll be late for Herbology if we don't head back soon…."

"Oh, you worry too much, Remus." said Sirius breezily. "And besides, we're nearly there." Remus fell silent, though he gazed almost fearfully up at the dilapidated building ahead of them.

"You know," said James, running his fingers idly through his already untidy hair, "I'm sure that if we were quick about it we could actually go into the Shrieking Shack. I mean, it takes 30 or so minutes to get back to Honeydukes, then around 45 minutes to go through the tunnel…."

"B-but there's supposed to, to be s-s-spirits in there…," whimpered Peter, eyes going wide. Sirius and James laughed.

"Exactly." said James, a look of great anticipation on his face. "What do you say, Remus?" he added, looking over at his friend.

Remus was silent for a moment, then said quietly "I – I would rather not."

Sirius looked scandalized. "What? Come on Remus, you can't be _afraid_ of the Shack…." Remus just looked over at him and said nothing.

"Well, I'm going in." said James boldly, stopping before an old, rundown gate. "Stay out here if you like…."

"Wait, I'm coming too!" said Sirius hurriedly, darting forward as James opened the gate. Peter glanced apprehensively up at Remus, then hurried after James and Sirius.

Remus hesitated a moment, the cool early morning air whipping his robes and the invisibility cloak he was still holding. "Are you coming, Remus?" called Sirius, turning around before the door of the dilapidated old building to glance at Remus.

Remus nodded reluctantly and hurried to catch up with his friends.

"It's locked." announced James disgustedly, yanking on the large, wrought iron lock as though trying to rip it out of the door.

"Here, move over." said Sirius, pushing past Peter and drawing his wand. Pointing his wand at the lock, he said clearly "Alohamora." Nothing happened.

"It's supposed to work…." he said, frowning.

"They might have charmed it so that spell won't work?" suggested James, shivering slightly.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Fortunately, I have a fallback; here, hold this." Thrusting his wand at James, Sirius fumbled in his pocket and drew out several thin, bent wires.

"What are those?" asked Peter curiously, his fright at entering the Shrieking Shack temporarily forgotten.

"Lock picks." said Sirius, jamming several of them into the lock and turning them. "Muggles use them to open locks and stuff." The lock clicked and Sirius opened it, grinning triumphantly.

"After you then, James."

James grinned and stepped inside, Sirius, Peter, and Remus on his heels. The inside of the Shack was damp and musty, and rays of early sunlight filtered in through cracks and openings in the wall. Most of the furniture was covered in white sheets, but they could see that long claw marks had been ripped in the fabric, and gouges covered that furniture that was exposed.

"This doesn't look like spirits…," said James slowly, eyes resting on a wooden side table that was balancing on three legs, the fourth having been apparently ripped off.

"Look, can we just leave?" asked Remus edgily. Sirius looked over at him, surprised.

"You're starting to sound like McGonagall. Come on, we still haven't found out what's causing this!" Grabbing Remus' arm, he dragged him over to a narrow wooden staircase which was missing several of its wooden slats.

"You know, maybe we should go…."said Peter nervously, edging around a large, dark brown stain on the floor. James glanced over at him exasperatedly.

"Oh, stop complaining, Peter." he said, climbing after Sirius and Remus. "I'm sure there's nothing _too_ bad up here."

"Are you sure?" asked Peter, glancing down at the banister, which was coated in dried blood.

"Look at this!" called Sirius from an open door at the top of the staircase. James and Peter hurried over – Sirius was kneeling on the floor, inspecting something with great interest. Remus was sitting cross-legged on a once magnificent four-poster bed. His face was ashen and grey, and he was staring unseeingly at a boarded up window.

Ignoring Remus, James hurried over and knelt beside Sirius. "What is it?" he asked excitedly. Sirius held up a handful of wiry, light brown fur.

"It looks like it's from some sort of, of _dog_, or something." he said, handing it to James. "D'you think they're keeping a rabid wolfhound in here?"

Remus laughed. "'Rabid wolfhound?' I doubt it. Now, can we please go? It's nearly 4:30." Remus stood and strode towards the door, Sirius, James, and Peter hurrying to follow him.

"How'd you learn to pick locks?" asked Remus suddenly, dropping back to talk to Sirius. "That doesn't really seem like the type of thing your Mum would've taught you…." Sirius grinned.

"Nah, and she'd have my head if she found out. Dung taught me."

"Who?" asked Remus, confused.

"Mundungus Fletcher. He's a fifth year in our house, and he knows all sorts of things, like picking locks, pick pocketing…."

"And he decided to teach you these, er, _important_ skills?"

"Yeah," laughed Sirius. "He says that he likes me and that I remind him of himself."

"And that's a good thing…?"

"Probably not, but hey, at least it'll annoy Mum."

"We're here." called James, stopping before Honeydukes and pulling open the wooden door, wincing slightly as a tiny bell tinkled overhead. "Right, we should probably get under the cloak now…."

"No, wait a minute!" said Sirius brightly, digging through his pockets and pulling out a crumpled piece of parchment and a quill. "There's got to be ink around here somewhere….Ah! Here."

Scribbling quickly on the parchment, Sirius finished with a flourish and handed it to Remus, who laughed and gave it to James. Peter peering over his shoulder, James read

Dear Honeydukes-Owning-People –  
If you noticed that some of your chocolate was  
missing, it was because Snivellus ate it. Blame  
the greasy git, not us.  
– _The Marauders_  
P.S. – We especially liked the double-chocolate

fudge, but advise you to store it in a better place.

It was awfully hard to get to.

_A/N_ - Sorry this chapter was so short - it was really more a follow up to the last chapter than anything. It was also a bit important to the small semblance of a plot I have. Oh, and sorry about the big spaces in the last part of the note - it wasn't supposed to turn out like that, but the edit messed it up. Ok, I'll stop whining now. On to the responses to reviews!

**mydream** - Thanks!

**Misthea** - I always thought that too - why would anyone think of tapping an old statue and saying 'dissendium?' This (obviously) was my answer to it - anyway, thanks for reviewing!

I didn't get very many reviews for my last chapter, even though that was one of my better ones. BluePhoenixFire didn't even review! What is the world _coming _to?! PLEASE review this chapter and I'll post the next soon - I promise 13 is good. I'd give you a hint about what's in it, but seeing as how I only got two reviews for this chapter....


	14. Chapter 13

_A/N_ - Hey everybody! I know, this is my shortest break between updates ever, but oh well. I was extremely bored and felt like updating.

Just a warning - if it looks like I skipped from idea to idea in this chapter, it's because I did. I started off they way I did because I love this part in other stories, and I know I left it a bit late but...yeah. After that it kinda meanders along, but there is a bit of a central plot.

Just to remind everybody - the disclaimer in chapter 3 goes for all chapters.

On with the story! =)

Chapter 13

"You know," remarked James sleepily, dumping his bag on the floor and taking a grateful sip of pumpkin juice, "I'm surprised that insane house elf didn't turn us in."

"Well, he does hero-worship Sirius." yawned Remus, loading his plate with eggs and bacon. "Mail's here." he added, glancing up at the hundred-or-so owls streaming into the Great Hall.

A large, imperious eagle owl landed next to Sirius, sticking out its leg, attached to which was a bright crimson envelope, and hooting haughtily.

Sirius sighed and took the letter. "I was wondering when she'd send this….Thanks, Herpo." The owl hooted arrogantly and flew off.

"Your Mum?" asked James sympathetically. Sirius nodded.

"Yep. That was her owl, Herpo – most conceited bird I've ever seen. I was wondering why she didn't send it earlier, though. Probably had more 'important' things to do." He laughed bitterly. "Ah, well, might as well open it, I guess." He slit the envelope open and at once a shrill, furious voice filled the Hall.

"HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN, YOU SHAMEFUL, FILTHY, TRAITOROUS WRETCH?! HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH THE FAMILY NAME! SEVEN GENERATIONS OUR FAMILY HAS BEEN IN SLYTHERIN, AND NOW YOU, YOU INSOLENT, UNGRATEFUL TURNCOAT, DARE TO BREAK TRADITION AND GO INTO GRYFFINDOR, CONSORTING WITH MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS!" Sirius glanced apologetically at Lily, who looked astonished that anyone would speak like that. "YOUR FATHER AND I DEMAND YOU SPEAK WITH DUMBLEDORE IMMEDIATELY AND SWITCH TO SLYTHERIN, AND UNTIL THEN WE COMMAND YOU STOP CONSORTING WITH THAT DISGRACEFUL, MUDBLOOD-LOVING POTTER WHELP AND YOUR OTHER LITTLE BASTARD 'FRIENDS.' WE HAVE COMMANDED BELLATRIX AND NARCISSA TO WATCH YOU AND MAKE SURE YOU GET INTO SLYTHERIN – DON'T, BOY, AND YOU WILL REGRET IT!" And with that threat lingering in the air the letter tore itself into tiny pieces and lit on fire.

Ears ringing with fury, Sirius stood up, swung his bag over his shoulder, and stormed towards the door, ignoring the frantic whispering now filling the Hall.

"Sirius?" said James, pushing open the thick wooden door to the Room of Requirement and poking his head in. "Mind if I come in?" Sirius didn't answer, which James toke as a sign that he could enter.

Closing the door carefully behind him, he walked over and sat down in one of the low-slung chairs, opposite Sirius. "So…." he began awkwardly. "You do know that we're 10 minutes late to Herbology?" Sirius shrugged but didn't say anything.

James sighed. "Look, Sirius – "

"I'd rather not talk about it, alright?" Sirius interrupted angrily. "My family's just a bunch of fanatic idiots, that's all there is to it."

James was silent for a moment, then said quietly "I know you aren't going to switch to Slytherin, but what are you going to do about your parents? Your Mum sounded like she'd kill you if you didn't switch…." Sirius smiled bitterly.

"My entire family's a bunch of pureblood fanatics, James. You know the family motto? _Toujours__Pur_ – forever pure. The whole thing is just insane – ever since I was eight they thought I was some sort of freak because I refused to act like them. Now my Mum hates me, my Dad thinks I'm a disgrace and is considering disowning me, and my perfect little pureblood brother is following right in their footsteps. I just can't stand it anymore."

James was silent a moment, then grinned. "What d'you reckon they'd do if they knew you turned Professor Cattivo into a midget?" Sirius laughed.

"Mum'd kill me – she's a distant cousin of mine."

"You're late, boys." said Professor Sprout disapprovingly. "Five points each from Gryffindor. Now, go sit down."

James and Sirius hurried over to sit by Peter and Remus. "Hey," said Remus, moving his bag over to make room for Sirius and James. "You alright?"

"Never better." said Sirius cheerfully, pulling on a pair of jet-black, dragon hide gloves. "We have this lesson with the Slytherins, don't we?" He gazed around eagerly and spotted Snape – he grinned delightedly. "Brilliant."

Remus raised an eyebrow at James, who shrugged. "You sure you're alright?" asked Remus again. Sirius frowned at him.

"My family's a bunch of zealous idiots, alright? I got over that three years ago. Now, are you going to help me curse Snape or not?"

"Sirius – "

"Now, this is alkanet." said Professor Sprout, interrupting Remus. "The only part of this plant that has any magical properties is the root; the rest of it is completely harmless. However," she glanced sternly at Sirius and James, though her gray eyes were twinkling, "The root, if digested, will give you severe, er, _anatomical_ problems." James and Sirius grinned at each other. "So, be careful none rubs off on your hands. Get in groups of no more than four and put the roots in the provided buckets."

"What does she mean, 'anatomical problems?'" asked Sirius, eyes glinting mischievously. "Think it'll make Snivellus grow an extra head?"

James laughed. "Bet Evans knows, I'll go ask her." He stood up and sauntered over to where Lily was sitting with several of her friends. "Hey Evans," he said casually, straddling the seat across from Lily.

She stared at him with great dislike. "What do you want, _Potter_?" she spat. He frowned at her.

"Just wanted to ask a question!" he said, raising his hands innocently. "Me and Sirius were wondering what exactly this root thingy does."

"Why do you want to know?" she asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.

"Evans, don't you trust me?" he asked, affecting to be hurt. "We were just curious."

"It has strong shape-shifting properties." she said at last, throwing a root into the bucket at her feet. "It'll turn whoever eats it in its raw form into a worm."

"What?!" said James, laughing. "Are you serious? Ah, this is great, Evans – thanks." Jumping to his feet, he darted back over towards the table where Sirius, Remus, and Peter were waiting for him.

"Well?" said Sirius under his breath. James grinned.

"My dearest Marauders, by lunchtime we shall be saying hello to Snivellus the Worm."

"Hullo, Snivellus." said Sirius loudly, sauntering over to the Slytherin table with James. "I see you still haven't washed that slime you call hair…."

"Why, if it isn't the traitorous wretch and the Potter whelp." said Snape smoothly, his hand in is pocket clutching his wand. "Disposed of your followers, have you?"

Sirius growled and started forward, but James grabbed his arm and held him back. "Recruited some bodyguards, eh, Snivellus?" said James, grinning cockily at Snape and several large fifth years surrounding him. "Is eating lunch too scary for poor baby Snivellus, does he need the big, tough fifth years to make sure his potatoes don't attack him?" He waved his hand over Snape's plate, knocking over his glass of pumpkin juice onto his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay. He smirked. "Oops, sorry…."

Eyes flashing furiously, Snape stood up and drew his wand. "Draai**__**tierisch!'' he hissed, flicking his wand at Sirius and James.

"Protego!" shouted Sirius – an instant later he heard James yelp as he was hit by a jet of deep purple light. Squinting, he lowered the shield and gasped in horror. Where a second ago James had stood there was now a tiny, fluffy, jet-black poodle.

The entire Slytherin table erupted in laughter – Sirius grinned despite himself. "Hate to say it James, but that was a pretty good one." The tiny dog growled and bit Sirius' foot, the only part of him he could reach.

"Ouch – alright, I get the point…." Sirius raised his wand until it was pointed at Snape's smirking face. "Change him back, Snivellus."

"What's going on here?" Professor McGonagall had swooped down on them, her eyes flashing furiously.

"Snivellus turned James into a dog, Professor." said Sirius immediately, pointing down at the jet-black poodle yipping plaintively at Professor McGonagall's feet. She frowned.

"No first year could have done this, Black." she said sternly. "Now, go back to the Gryffindor table, and no more magic. And take your dog with you." she added, stepping back from James as he began to whine and pull on her robes.

"But, Professor – "

"No arguments, Black." Grabbing his arm, she marched him over to the Gryffindor table; James, barking in alarm, hurried after them amidst continued gales of laughter from the Slytherins.

"Um, Sirius?" asked Remus apprehensively, "What are you doing with a poodle?"

"This, gentlemen," said Sirius grimly, setting the dog down on the table, "Is James."

It took a moment for the absurdity of this statement to sink in. Then Peter began to laugh and Remus grinned. "No, seriously, Sirius."

"I am being serious!" he said indignantly, as the small dog growled at Remus. "We went over to put that alkanet root in Snivellus' food and he turned James into a poodle, and McGonagall wouldn't believe me." He scowled at her retreating back. "Fortunately," he said, brightening suddenly, "Any time now Snape should be having some 'anatomical problems….'" There was a sudden uproar at the Slytherin table and Sirius sniggered. "Snivellus the Worm….Ouch! James!" James, attempting to steal some of Sirius' stew, had instead latched himself firmly onto his friends' finger and refused to be shaken off.

"Oh, how cute!" said Lily, walking over to Sirius and peering at James. "You got a puppy! Can I play with it?"

"What?" said Sirius, looking alarmed. "Oh…I dunno…." Lily ignored him and picked James up.

"He's so adorable! What's his name?"

"Um…."

"Oh, can I name him?" she asked eagerly. She held him up so they were eye to eye with each other. "Hmn, what to call you…."

"Is that really James?" hissed Remus under his breath, leaning over so only Sirius could hear him.

"Yes! Now help me, it looks like Evans is about to steal him…."

"Aw, Sirius, look…." said Lily delightedly, cuddling James so close he looked like he was about to suffocate. "He likes me!"

"Um, Lily…." said Remus hurriedly, jumping to his feet and prying James away from her, "I think Sirius would, er, like his poodle back…."

"Wait, I still have to name him!" she said, clutching James even tighter. Face brightening suddenly, she held James up again and said excitedly "I've got it! He can be called Snuffles!"

Aghast, James looked pleadingly up at Sirius, who had stuffed his hand in his mouth to keep from sniggering, and Remus, who was hard pressed to keep a straight face as he said "That's, er, great, Lily…really great…."

"Well, well…if it isn't the wretch and his faithful gang of admirers." Bellatrix had strode over to their table, her left hand held palm-up in front of her. Her lips curled up in a sneer. "And the poodle whelp."

Lily looked scandalized. "Snuffles is not a whelp!" Bellatrix' eyes flashed menacingly.

"How dare you talk to me, you mudblood filth."

James snarled furiously and leapt out of Lily's hands and onto Bellatrix. Growling angrily, he scratched her hands and arms, tearing deep gashes in her apparently brand-new robes.

"Snuffles, no!" cried Lily reprovingly, hurrying forward and snatching James off Bellatrix. "Ugh – what's this?" A long, squirmy, sickly-white worm was squiggling in James' jaws.

"Get out of here, Trixie." said Sirius softly, stepping forward in front of Lily to gaze furiously at his cousin.

"Not until you change Snape back." she said smoothly, pointing to the worm, which James had spat onto the table. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"_That's_ Snivellus?"

"You turned Snape into a, into a _worm_?" gasped Lily, horrified. "I knew Potter was up to something when he asked me what alkanet root does…." She glared severely at Sirius. "How can you even _think_ of having a dog when you and your insane little friend are so irresponsible? For his own safety I'm taking Snuffles with me." Turning sharply on her heel, she strode off down the Hall, James gazing desperately over her shoulder.

"Sorry!" mouthed Sirius, wincing guiltily. Bellatrix laughed derisively.

"Has poor ickle Sirius lost his filthy friend?"

"Shut up." growled Sirius. "Take back your worm and go back to your little Slytherin friends."

She gazed at him coolly. "Change Snape back, and be quick about it. You have a meeting with Dumbledore after lunch."

"What?" yelped Sirius. "Why?"

"To discuss your transference to Slytherin." she said, eyeing him with ill-concealed revulsion. "_If_ Slytherin will have you, of course. Now, hurry up and –"

"I'm not going into Slytherin, alright!" shouted Sirius, his eyes flashing furiously. "I don't care what Mother and the rest of you neurotic idiots think, I'm staying in Gryffindor. If she couldn't even bother sending me a howler until two weeks after I was sorted – "

"How dare you speak of our family that way, you insolent fool." hissed Bellatrix. "Your mother demanded that you see Dumbledore and so you _will_. Now, change Snape BACK!"

Sirius glowered at her. Just then Professor McGonagall strode over to them, looking furious. "Just what is the problem here, Ms. Black, Mr. Black?"

"I'm not seeing Professor Dumbledore after lunch today, Professor." said Sirius loudly, his ears ringing with anger. Professor McGonagall looked startled.

"The Headmaster specifically requested an attendance with you…."

"I'm not going." he said flatly. Turning, he hurried after Lily, yelling over his shoulder "And keep your worm, Trixie."

_A/N_ - That's it for now! I hope you like it - it was one of my stranger chapters. I really have no idea where the whole poodle thing came from, but it was fun to write =) I always wondered why Sirius would want to be called Snuffles - it doesn't really seem like him, does it? Nostagalia, that's my answer. =) And now, to respond to my reviews!

**Misthea** - sorry about the length - it was actually 3 pages on Microsoft Word, but it always gets really condensed when I update. This one's a bit longer, though. And yes, I know what you mean about Sirius. =)

**mydream - **Thanks!

**BluePhoenixFire** - You reviewed! I was starting to get worried after my last chappie was up for a week and you didn't review =). Thanks, hope you like this chapter too.

_Padfoot_ - Haven't been reading my fic lately, have you? Five never-read-before chapters and you didn't read or review them?! How _could_ you? Read this one and review and maybe I'll forgive you =). Oh, and by the way, my animagus is a wolf.

That's it for now! Hopefully I'll get more reviews next time - I love reading and responding to them, especially longer ones. Next chapter will find the three Marauders (attempting) to change Snuffles back - to see whether they succeed or not, REVIEW!!!

Oh yes, and before I forget, if anybody knows how old Sirius and Remus are as of book 5 would they please review this and tell me? It might be important for chapter 18. Thanks!


	15. Chapter 14

_A/N_ - Hello Everybody! I know it really hasn't been that long since my last update, but it feels like _forever_. This week I've done almost nothing except paint at the Shack, (my summer house), which is about the most tedious, boring, and mindless job I have ever done. And, to cap it all off, I didn't even bring a good book to read! Fortunately, I got to kneeboard once (kneeboarding is the best watersport **ever** - if you've never done it before you should try sometime, it is awesome), and my Muse struck again so I'm almost done with the Chapter 15 revision and have started Chapter 18.

Anyways, here's Chapter 14 - sorry it's so short, but hope you like it anyway!

Chapter 14

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just ask Lily for James back during class?" whispered Remus, his lit wand held out in front of him as he, Sirius, and Peter trudged down the spiral staircase and into the Common Room, huddled together under the invisibility cloak.

Sirius snorted. "Do you think she would've given him to me? Nope, we're going to have to steal him back from her."

"Sirius, she thinks he's your dog. I'm sure she'd give him back to you."

"Did you hear her at lunch?"

"Well, yes, but – "

"Um, guys?" said Peter apprehensively, "We're here."

"Right!" said Sirius brightly, stepping onto the spiral staircase that led to the girls' dormitories. "Now, the plan is to nick James, come back down here, and change him – ARGH!" They hadn't gone up four steps when the staircase turned into a steep, slick stone slide. They slipped and fell backwards into a crumpled heap, the invisibility cloak thrown half-off of them.

"What kind of stupid trick was that?" said Sirius indignantly, standing up and glaring at the staircase. "Evans came up our staircase fine; it didn't turn into a slide for _her_. It's almost as if they don't trust us."

There was a sudden _creak_ from the nearest dormitory, followed by a high-pitched yipping noise, and a second later a tiny, jet-black dog came hurtling down the slide, flying off and crashing into Sirius' chest.

"Bloody idiot…." grumbled Sirius, massaging his chest and glaring down at James – a second later he grinned and laughed "What did she _do_ to you?"

A large, light pink bow was perched jauntily on top of his head, while a matching fluffy sweater made him look as though he were in a straightjacket. A collar of large, faux pearls adorned his neck – a silver, heart-shaped tag read, in curvy, girlish handwriting: _Snuffles_.

"So," said Remus, standing up and grinning, "Enjoy your stay with Lily?" James glared evilly at him.

There was a sudden, anguished shriek from the nearest dormitory. "Right," said Sirius hurriedly, grabbing the cloak and throwing it quickly back over them, "We should probably be going, then…."

Thrusting James at Remus, Sirius led the way as they darted over to the portrait hole, wrenched it open, and rushed outside.

"So," said Sirius under his breath, turning around to look at James as they dashed down the corridor, "Remus figured out how to change you back." James' ears perked up and he leaned forward, listening intently. "We're going to that Room of Requirement place, and when we walk past we'll think of changing you back. When that door opens it should have whatever potions or spells we need." James wagged his tail excitedly.

"Here we are." announced Sirius loudly, taking off the invisibility cloak and pulling open the heavy wooden door. James leapt eagerly out of Remus' arms and dashed inside, narrowly avoiding crashing into Sirius' leg.

The room seemed almost exactly the same as before, except that now instead of cabinets there were several large shelves, on top of which were dozens upon dozens of oddly shaped glass flasks. On the low wooden table in the center of the room there was a large slip of parchment. Hurrying over, Remus picked it up and read:

_Draai__tierisch_ is a highly advanced

curse involving the transfiguration of a

person or group of people into an animal.

The steps taken to return the afflicted

individual into their normal state vary

according to the animal they have been

transfigured into. The most common shape

assumed is that of a dog – in order to

change back, the individual must drink a

vial of the Elixir of Veranderen****and be subjected

to the counter-curse, the instructions for

which can be found on page 743 of the

Counsfigurse Tome.

Remus glanced up. "Well, it seems easy enough…," he said, folding the parchment carefully and putting it in his pocket. "We'll need a bottle of this Elixir of Veranderen, then – there should be one on one of those shelves by you, Sirius. I'll find that book – Accio Counsfigurse Tome!" He waved his wand at the bookshelves, and an enormous green leather-bound book soared straight at his chest – he ducked and it hit Peter, who was standing behind him, instead. "Oops…sorry, Peter…."

"S'okay…." gasped Peter; he was doubled over, apparently having had the wind knocked out of him.

"Page 743…." Remus muttered to himself, picking up the book and flipping hurriedly through it, "Page 743….Ah, here it is." Having reached the right page, he skimmed quickly through it and sighed in relief. "Good, this isn't too hard….D'you have the potion yet, Sirius?"

"Nearly," called Sirius, summoning one of the low-lung chars to himself and accidentally sending it spinning into the lit fireplace. "Oops," he said, wincing slightly as it shattered and was quickly consumed by the fire. "I'll try again; Accio – "

"Er, Sirius…," interrupted Remus hurriedly, "Why don't I just bring you a chair…."

"No, that's ok!" said Sirius brightly, waving his wand and smashing several of the bottles on the lowest shelf. "I'll try again! Accio chair!" The chair nearest him rocketed forward – Remus, who was still holding on to its back, shot forward with it.

"Er," said Sirius, ducking so the chair flew over his head and crashed into the wall behind him, "Sorry…."

"Why…." gasped Remus, staggering to his feet, "I ever became friends with you…."

Sirius laughed. "Good question. Sorry 'bout that, by the way…." James barked impatiently. "Oh, right." said Sirius, still grinning. "That potion thingy….What was it called, again?"

"The Elixir of Veranderen."' groaned Remus, sinking into the nearest chair.

"Right, right – found it!"

"Well, bring it down here." said Remus irritably.

"Touchy, touchy." muttered Sirius, hopping down from the chair, a slender, dark purple vial clutched in his hand, and ambling over to where Remus, Peter, and a highly impatient James were waiting for him. "Here you go." He set it down on the table and collapsed onto the nearest empty chair.

"Alright then – drink this, James." He pulled the glass stopper out of the vial and poured the thick, gooey liquid inside of it into a small dish. James lapped it up eagerly, while Sirius laughed.

"Still can't believe Snivellus turned you into a _poodle_. And then Evans took you – oh, she's going to be horrible in class tomorrow." He winced slightly. "Reckon we could use this spell to turn her into a chipmunk?"

"McGonagall would _kill_ us if she found out." said Peter, yawning.

"Yeah, probably." said Sirius sadly. "Oh well….Got the spell ready yet, Remus?"

"I would if you two would shut up." said Remus irritably. "Alright – ready, James?" James nodded eagerly and jumped to the floor. Remus cleared his throat and said loudly "Ritornare!"'

A jet of brilliant topaz light shot out of the end of his wand, which was pointed straight at James. There was a loud _crack!_, and where a second before the tiny, jet-black poodle had stood James now sat, rubbing his eyes blearily, still wearing the fluffy pink sweater, bow, and faux pearl necklace. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all erupted in laughter – jumping to his feet, Sirius hurried over to help James to his feet.

"Hullo, Snuffles."

_A/N _- Hope you liked this chapter! I know it was short =(, but hey, I tried. Anyway, here are the responses to reviews!

**Misthea** - You'll have to wait a bit to find out what happens to Sirius (chapter 18), but next chapter you'll see what Lily does =). I read all of your words - all brilliant, but I have to say impundent and audacious are my favorites =)

**darkfire** - Mmm, chocolate....

**mydream** - Thanks =)

**BluePhoenixFire** - Thanks - glad you liked it! It's always fun to turn your main characters into poodles, isn't it? =)

**Midgee Dumbledore** - Thanks so much for answering my questions - you were the only one who did. Hope you liked this chapter too!

That's it for now, I think....Hopefully I'll be able to post my next chapter within a week or two - in the meantime, keep reviewing! Bye!


	16. Chapter 15

_A/N_ - Hey everybody! I _finally_ finished Chapter 15 - after about two weeks of revision it's finally done! Yay! Anyway....

This is the last chapter involving Snuffles - up 'til now I've had each chapter be a seperate day, so in the end 15 chapters covers roughly 2 weeks. Now, if I kept writing like that I would never finish this fic, so after this chapter it skips around a bit. Still good though, I promise!

Anyway, here's chapter 15, and I hope you like it because it's taken _forever_ to finish. =)

Chapter 15

"Get up, Sirius." said James loudly, digging under his bed to find his shoes. Sirius mumbled unintelligibly and rolled over – exasperated, James glanced pleadingly over at Remus.

"Sirius, we're going to miss breakfast if we don't go down soon." said Remus, riffling through his bag to make sure he had all of his homework.

"Don't wanna go to breakfast." muttered Sirius, pulling his pillow up over his head. Just then the door to their dormitory burst open and Lily stormed in.

"Where is he, Black!" she demanded angrily. "Where'd you put him?"

"Go 'way." mumbled Sirius. Lily looked like she was about to explode.

"Where did you put Snuffles?!" she shouted, striding over to Sirius' bed and ripping the pillow of his head. "I know you stole him last night!" Lily glared at Remus and Peter, who had begun to laugh. "This _isn't_ funny!"

Sirius, fully awake by now, grinned and suggested "Maybe he ran away from you, Evans. I would."

"Snuffles loved me; he would never run away from me!" she said hotly, looking scandalized when Sirius, Peter, and Remus began to laugh loudly. James grinned, though his face was pink.

"We didn't steal him, alright? Now if you would leave we still have to change." Still fuming, she stomped back out of their dormitory, slamming the door behind her.

"'Snuffles loved me!'" mocked Sirius loudly, hunting through his trunk to find a clean robe. "'He would never run away!'"

"Oh, shut up." said James, throwing Sirius' shoes at his head. "You try being coddled by her and her gang of friends for three hours – it was torture." Sirius laughed.

"What, did Snuffles not like his sweater?"

"What d'you reckon Bellatrix did with Snivellus?" James asked Sirius as they, Remus, and Peter hurried down the spiral staircase and into the Common Room. "Any chance she used him as fertilizer in one of the greenhouses?"

Sirius laughed. "There's a pleasant thought. Unfortunately, no. Remus looked that alkanet root thingy up and it only lasts for seven hours."

They had reached the bottom of the staircase and were walking across the Common Room and towards the portrait hole when James stopped abruptly before a large notice board.

"What is it?" asked Remus, stopping too.

"Nothing." muttered James, his face bright red as he tried to push past his friends.

Sirius, however, laughed, grabbed his arm, and tore a large sign off the board. "Look, it's you, Snuffles." he said, grinning broadly.

The parchment sign had a large, moving, black-and-white photograph of James as a poodle, fully bedecked in his fluffy sweater and bow. Below that read, in large, bright red letters:

_Missing – Snuffles_

Snuffles is a poodle about 45 cm. tall,

with fluffy jet black fur and hazel eyes.

He was last seen wearing a bright pink

sweater and matching bow, and a faux

pearl collar with a tag reading "Snuffles".

If you find him please return him to the

Gryffindor first-year girl's dormitory.

"She really liked you, didn't she?" said Remus, peering over Sirius' shoulder.

James groaned. "If I ever turn into any sort of small fluffy animal again, lock me in the Astronomy Tower and throw out the key before she finds me. Though knowing her she'd find some way of breaking in anyway…."

"We should probably be going down to breakfast now…." said Peter, glancing down at his watch.

"Yeah, alright." said Sirius, folding the parchment sign and putting it in his bag.

"What are you doing?!" yelped James, alarmed.

"Well, we have to have something to remember Snuffles by." said Sirius, laughing.

"We do not! That was the worst day of my life!"

"Shall I attach it to your head with a Permanent-Sticking Charm?"

"Sirius!"

"Yes, Snuffles?"

"Do we have Astronomy tonight?" asked Sirius, dumping his bag onto the table and collapsing onto the bench.

"Yeah, at midnight." said James, sitting down next to him. "Why?"

"'Cause I haven't done that paper on Mars yet. We were supposed to describe it, right?"

"Yes." said Remus, sitting down across from him. "You really should try and do your homework earlier, you know."

Sirius ignored him and pulled out a sheet of parchment, a quill, and an inkbottle. "Right," he said, taking a large swig of orange juice before beginning to scribble on the parchment. "Mars is a very big planet. It is red and named after –" He paused and glanced up at Remus. "Mars was a Greek god, right?"

"Roman."

"…named after the Roman god of…um…_love_…."

"Mars was the god of war."

"Oh, right…the Roman god of war…."

"This looks like a five year old wrote it, Sirius." said Remus, reading his paper upside down. Sirius looked highly affronted.

"What do you mean, 'like a five year old wrote it?' Five year olds don't even know how to write!"

"Exactly."

"Potter! Black!" Lily was striding towards them, her face bright pink with anger. "_Where did you put my Snuffles sign_?!"

"Your what?" asked Sirius, glancing up from his paper and looking rather relieved at the distraction.

"The notice I put up that Snuffles was missing. What did you do with it?!"

"How come every time something of yours gets stolen you automatically assume we did it?" asked James indignantly.

"Because you did!" She snatched the now rather crumpled notice out of Sirius' bag and glared at them. "Why was this in your bag, Black?"

"Because I, er…."

"It's not enough that you tortured the poor thing when he was with you, now you must mutilate his picture when he's gone?"

"'Torture him?' When did I ever torture him? Aren't I allowed to keep a picture of my friend in my bag?" James spun around and gazed at Sirius in alarm. Lily glanced at them suspiciously.

"'Friend?' You actually admit to having a friend other than Potter?"

Remus, who appeared to be rather enjoying James' predicament, said amusedly "Of course he's not…." James turned to glare at him.

"What do you mean?" asked Lily, who was beginning to grow rather irritated.

Sirius grinned, and James shot him a look that said quite clearly _You tell her, you die_. Sirius sighed and shook his head, though his eyes were still dancing. "Never mind – Snuffles doesn't want me to tell you."

"'Snuffles doesn't want you to tell me?' What do you mean?"

"Well, judging from the way he's looking at me now…." said Sirius, laughing at the look on James' face.

Lily's face was now bright red with fury; balling her fists, she screamed "**_What the bloody hell are you on about?!_**" All three boys looked rather shocked.

Sirius was the first to recover. "Did you really just say that?" he asked, sounding impressed. "Wow – didn't know you had it in you, Evans…."

"Answer the question, Black." she said softly, though her voice still sounded deadly.

"Well, on second thought…."

"_Black_!"

"Oh, alright – Snuffles is –" James clapped a hand over Sirius' mouth and smiled charmingly at Lily.

"Look, Evans –"

"She's going to find out anyway, James." said Remus, pouring more pumpkin juice into his glass. "You might as well tell her now."

"Tell me _what_?" hissed Lily.

"Snuffles wasn't really a dog." said Remus, before James could stop him. "He was James."

Lily was silent for a moment. Then she said flatly "That's not funny, Remus."

"Well, it _was_ rather funny, despite the fact that it was Snivellus that did it." said Sirius, who had finally pried James' fingers away from his mouth. "But we're not lying."

Lily began to laugh humorlessly. "But that's impossible. That's…."

Sirius took the notice from her, opened it with a flourish, and began to read. "Hazel eyes…jet black fur…45 centimeters tall…."

"I am not 45 centimeters tall!" said James indignantly, glaring at Sirius.

"Well, you are rather short…."

"James is not Snuffles!" said Lily hotly, crossing her arms. "Snuffles was a sweet, loveable, mild-tempered –" Sirius pretended to retch.

"You're calling James loveable? That's _disgusting_…."

"I did _not_ call Potter loveable, I called Snuffles –"

"How many times do we have to tell you?" interrupted Sirius impatiently. "_James is Snuffles_! Now if you would leave I really have to finish my Astronomy homework…."

Lily ignored him and turned to Remus. "Is he telling the truth?" she demanded. Remus glanced at James, who was looking exceptionally mortified, to Sirius, who was laughing evilly, hesitated, then nodded.

Lily looked as though she couldn't decide whether to storm off, yell at James, or slap him in the face. "_Why didn't you tell me_?" she hissed, her voice full of thinly suppressed fury.

James seemed to quail before her. "Well, I was a dog, wasn't I?" he said, trying to sound reasonable. "I really couldn't talk…." Lily was shaking slightly now.

"You – you…."

"Well, you were the one who stole me in the first place…."

"I –"

"Oh, you found the sign?" One of Lily's friends, a tall girl with long, curly brown hair and cerulean-blue eyes, had walked over to them, smiling coquettishly at Sirius. "Has anyone found Snuffles, then?"

"Yeah, I reckon I have." she said grimly, pointing her wand at James' head. "Estada sempre bow!" A large pink bow, identical to the one James had worn last night, flew out of her bag and attached itself firmly to the top of James' head. A satisfied and slightly vengeful smile on her face, she grabbed her friend's arm and steered her off down the table, casting a wickedly amused glance back at James.

James turned and glared at Sirius and Remus, both of whom looked exceptionally amused. "_You two_," he hissed warningly, reaching up to pull the bow off his head, "_Are dead_."

Sirius grinned. "Oh, I'm incredibly frightened. Really. Terrified."

Remus, who was loading bacon onto his plate, looked up at James, who was trying unsuccessfully to tug the bow out of his hair, and smiled slightly. "You do know that Lily attached that with a Permanent-Sticking Charm, don't you?"

"She WHAT?!" yelped James, jumping to his feet. "She, she – Then how am I supposed to get this, this _thing_ out of my hair?!"

"Tough luck, mate." said Sirius, trying hard not to laugh. "Guess you'll just have to be Snuffles for the rest of your life….Pass the eggs, would you Remus?"

James was sputtering indignantly. "Help – me – get – this – out!"

Sirius smiled sweetly up at him. "Forgive us, then?" he asked, eyes dancing.

"I – I…." James was clearly battling to find the lesser of the two evils. "Oh, alright." he sighed at last. "Just get this ruddy thing out of my hair."

"Of course!" said Sirius brightly, pulling out his wand. "Accio –"

"What're you doing?" asked Remus, alarmed.

"Summoning a pair of scissors."

"Are you sure that's a, er, good idea?"

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius, sounding insulted.

"Well, after last night…." Sirius winced slightly.

"Right." He jumped up to stand on top of the bench; raising his voice, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted "Oi! Gryffindors! Does anyone have a pair of scissors?" Several students looked up at him like he was insane, while a few others laughed. A small second-year girl with blonde pigtails walked over to them, smiling shyly at Sirius and casting a rather apprehensive look over at James, who was muttering darkly to himself as he struggled vainly to pull the bow out of his hair. She handed a small pair of bright silver scissors to Sirius before scurrying back to his friends. "Thanks!" shouted Sirius after her.

"Right," he said briskly, turning to James and grinning. "Now, turn around, face the table, and don't move. I'm going to cut it out of your hair."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked James apprehensively.

Sirius eyed him sternly, looking uncannily like Professor McGonagall. "Do you want to bear the shame of your imprisonment forever?" he asked, brandishing the scissors dramatically.

"Well, no, but –"

"Than stop complaining and turn around."

Though still worried, James nevertheless turned around. "I'm still not sure I trust you, Sirius."

Sirius pretended to be offended. "That's very hurtful, James. I mean, alright, I've never really done this before, but honestly, how hard can it – oops…."

"What did you do?" asked James suspiciously.

"Nothing, nothing." said Sirius breezily. "Your hair will grow back eventually…."

"_Sirius_!"

"Oh, don't be so touchy, it was only a small patch…."

"Hello." said Peter's voice glumly. Sirius yelped and jumped backwards, then glanced guiltily at the top of James' head.

James, who was still turned around and hadn't noticed this, said cheerfully "Where were you, Peter?"

"Professor Cattivo was yelling at me about my last homework assignment." he said gloomily, sitting down next to Remus. "Apparently it – What happened to your hair, James?" He was staring at the top of James' head.

"Nothing," said Sirius swiftly, trying not to laugh as James spun around and glared at him venomously. "Nothing you won't, er, recover from eventually…."

"Do I want to see what he's done?" James asked Remus, who was smiling slightly.

"Well," said Remus, raising himself to glance appraisingly at James' head, "You might want to ready yourself before you have to face the rest of the school…,"

"Hey, it's not that bad!" said Sirius defensively. "I mean, alright, it's a bit uneven…."

"'A bit uneven?!'" yelped James, feeling the top of his head. "This is 'a bit uneven?' Sirius, you, you…."

"Well, on the bright side," said Sirius cheerfully, "I got the bow out!"

_A/N_ - And so ends the marauders first two weeks of school. The next chapter takes place some time in mid October I think, and I think it's really rather cute. SO, review and you can read it! 'Til then, Bye!

WAIT! I almost forgot to respond to all those **_wonderful_** people who sent me reviews!

**mydream** - Gracias! Means thanks in Spanish =)

**dobbyfan18** - Glad you liked it! Hope you liked this one too.

**Celebrean** - It's ok and thanks =)

Alright - I'm pretty sure that's it for now. Thank you everybody who's read this, and many _many **many**_ thanks to everbody who reviewed! Bye!


	17. Chapter 16

_A/N_ - Hey everybody! I was going to wait another week before updating this, since I'm falling _really_ behind with it (I only have one spare chapter left, instead of the eight I had when I started). However, I felt kinda guilty, (though I'm sure you guys could care less whether I posted it today or not), so here it is.

There's one thing you should probably know before you start this - I did tell you all this in Chapter 15, but in case you forgot: Chapter 15 left off in the second week of school, with one of our favorite Maruaders, James, having about half a head of hair left. Since Chapter 16 was written some two weeks prior, James' hair is now its normal, messy self. Also, this starts somewhere in the middle of October, since I could never finish this fic, much less start a sequel, if each Chapter was a consequetive day.

Anyway, that being said, please read the chapter and tell me what you think!

Chapter 16

"You do know that it is the middle of October." said Remus, shivering slightly in the brisk autumn air.

"Yep." said Sirius cheerfully, fishing in his pocket for an apple and biting into it. "Why?"

"Sirius, it's not even 50 degrees out. I don't think going for a swim in the Lake is a good idea."

"Don't be so dramatic, Remus." said James breezily, throwing an arm over Sirius and Remus' shoulders. "It'll be fun. And besides, this is our first weekend without detention – we need to celebrate."

"How come Peter got to get out of this and I didn't?" grumbled Remus.

"What, you'd rather be tutored by McGonagall than be with us?" said Sirius, pretending to be offended. "Now really, Remus….Think how uninteresting you life would've been if you'd never met us."

Remus gave a fake, wistful sigh. "No detentions, no running around the castle in the middle of the night crammed under that cloak, no more miniature dragon being used as a spare bludger…,"

Sirius sighed and shook his head despairingly. "You're hopeless, Remus."

James laughed. "Don't worry, though – we like you anyway."

"Told you it'd be cold." said Remus, grinning as Sirius leapt hurriedly out of the shallows of the Lake.

James dipped his foot hesitantly into the water. "It's not _that_ bad, Sirius." he said, rolling up his pants and stepping carefully into the Lake. "It's actually kind of nice once you get used to it…."

"'Kind of nice?' James, it's freezing!"

James walked even farther out into the Lake. "Well, do a heat charm on your legs or something then and come out here!" he said, glancing back over his shoulder.

"Oh, alright – onarev!" He tapped his wand once on each of his legs – they each emanated a faint red glow, which quickly disappeared. Rolling up his pants as James had done, he strode out into the Lake to join his friend. "You were actually right, it is much warmer now….Any ideas on how to get Remus out here, by the way?"

"Nope." said James offhandedly, picking up a rock and skipping it across the water – it bounced five times before sinking to the bottom. "Hmn, not bad…bet I can get more, though…." He picked up another rock and threw it – this time it skipped eight times before falling to the bottom. "Ha – beat that, Black."

"Easily." said Sirius, smirking. Bending down, he selected a smooth, flat rock from the bottom of the Lake. Straightening, he tossed it up in the air, caught it, and threw it across the Lake – it bounced twice before sinking.

James laughed. "Admirable throw, Sirius; really superb."

"Oh, shut up." said Sirius, his face going slightly red. James grinned.

"Here's trying for ten…." Grabbing another rock, he tossed it across the water – it skipped a total of eleven times before disappearing into the Lake. "Potter eleven, Black two." said James, smirking. "Well, Sirius, I think it's safe to say I w – ARGH!"

Sirius laughed, having just pushed James under the still bitterly chill water, and crossed his arms satisfactorily. "Black one, Potter zero." he said, grinning. James got to his feet and spat out a mouthful of water, glaring at Sirius furiously.

"You shall pay, Black." he said warningly, an evil glint appearing in his eye. Without warning he lunged suddenly at Sirius, knocking him off his feet and sending him crashing into the water.

Sirius stood up, sputtering, and proclaimed loudly "This means war, Potter." James grinned.

"You couldn't beat me if you tried. In case, you haven't noticed, you left your wand on the shore."

"Remus'll help me…." Raising his voice, he shouted "Oi! Remus! Come here, we're having a water fight!"

"No, thank you." replied Remus, adjusting his robes daintily. "I'd really rather just stay here…."

James and Sirius grinned at each other. Whipping out his wand, James pointed it at Remus and said loudly "Accio Remus!"

Remus shot towards them, landing with a loud SPLASH! a few feet away. He got to his feet, his robes now sopping wet, and glared at them.

They laughed – grinning, Sirius threw an arm comradely over Remus' shoulders and said bracingly "What would life be like without us, eh?"

"I still don't get this…." moaned Peter, eyeing his Transfiguration book despairingly. "What's the difference between switching spells and morphing spells? Professor McGonagall must've explained it to me at least five times but I keep forgetting…."

"I'm hungry." announced James, lying sprawled out on his stomach in front of the Common Room fire.

"Go get something from the Kitchens." said Remus, who was sitting curled up in one of the large, squishy red armchairs near the fire, reading _Basic Defensive Spells and Their Uses_.

"Nah, I really don't feel like walking. And besides, I don't think they have ice cream in the Kitchens."

"You never know." yawned Sirius – he was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of a low wooden table, trying to finish a Herbology essay, which was due the next day. "Mind if I copy off your paper, mate?"

"It's in my bag." said James, waving his hand vaguely at the table Sirius was sitting at. Remus frowned but didn't say anything.

"Anyway," continued James, glancing over at Remus, "D'you reckon they have strawberry ice cream in the Kitchens? Maybe we could capture an elf and hold him for ransom 'til they give us some…." Remus made a low noise of disgust.

"What, you don't like ice cream?" asked Sirius, glancing up from James' essay.

"Not strawberry ice cream, no."

Sirius shook his head sadly. "There's something wrong with you, Remus."

"Or maybe I could summon some…." said James thoughtfully, ignoring Sirius. "There was a charm in one of those Room of Requirement books…except it was for conjuring, not summoning. Ah, well – same thing, I suppose. Aparecer strawberry ice cream!"

"James, what are you –" began Remus, looking over at James, but he was suddenly cut off as a large glob of pink ice cream appeared in the air above him and landed with a loud SPLAT! on top of his head.

"Oops…" said James, grinning apologetically at Remus, who was blinking bemusedly and feeling the top of his head. "Sorry 'bout that…." Sirius laughed.

"Brilliant, James."

"Hey, it was an accident!" said James defensively. "It's not like I was _trying_ to hit him…."

"Out of all the places you could have conjured it," said Remus, pulling out his wand, "You manage to make it appear on top of my head. Scourgify." He waved his wand at the ice-cream, which promptly disappeared.

"Here, I'll try again!" said James eagerly.

"Why don't you just go down to the Kitchen instead…." said Remus, eyeing James' wand apprehensively.

"What, you don't trust me?" said James, pretending to be hurt.

"No, actually, I don't."

"James, wasn't this essay supposed to be about the uses of monkshood?" asked Sirius, squinting down at his friend's paper.

"Um, yeah, I think it was." said James distractedly. "Why?"

"'Cause you spent your entire paper ranting on about why Brazil should've won the last Quidditch World Cup."

"Well, it is a more interesting topic."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Mind if I borrow yours, Remus?"

"Yes, I do."

"But it's due tomorrow and I don't have anything!"

"And whose fault is that?"

"Please…."

"You can copy off mine, if you like." piped up Peter.

"No, he can't." interrupted Remus severely, before Sirius could say anything. "It is his own fault he didn't do the essay. I'm going to bed." Standing up, he tucked his book under his arm and walked up the spiral staircase and into their dormitory.

Sirius turned to look hopefully at Peter. "Any chance of that paper, then?"

_A/N_ - Short chappie, I know. It simply cannot be helped - I promise you, your next two chapters will be MUCH longer. _Anyway_....

The Lake bit came from summertime memories of skipping rocks at the lake my grandparents live at - my brother could easily compete in a skipping contest with James, while my prowess amounts to about Sirius' level. After I let my friend read this we went swimming at the lake, and the water was **_freezing_**. My friend started splashing me to get me in the water, and when I began to indigniantly tell her what an evil person she was she defended herself by saying "Were James and Sirius evil when they summoned Remus into the Lake?" Now, I absolutely love James and Sirius, so my reply was "Well, no, but...." Oh, the woes of attempting to contridict what you yourself have written....

Alrighty - now I've written all that, which you guys probably won't read anyway, it's time to respond to all the WONDERFUL people who've sent me reviews!

**Eagle** - Wow, that is one of the highest compliments I've gotten for this story. Thank you so much! I'm really thinking about continueing it through to their second year - however, while I promise to finish this fic, since I know how frustrating unfinished stories can be, I'm not sure I'd be able to finish a sequel. I'd love to, but I simply don't think I'd have enough time. I'll try, though, if I get enough reviews.

**mydream** - lol. Thanks! (or gracias) =)

**BluePhoenixFire** - Unfortunately, nothing. Like I said, this chapter was written and finished before 13 - 15 so I had no idea James was going to turn into a poodle. But never fear, the Marauders and Snivellus shall clash again. =)

Right - I think that's it for now. And for everyone who read this but didn't review: It is becoming slightly embarrassing to have to respond to only three reviews. I write this so you guys can read it, the least you can do is tell me what you think! And don't be afraid to send constructive criticism, it's really helpful. Now_**, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! **_


	18. Chapter 17

_A/N_ - Hey everyone! Wow, I got a lot of reviews for that last chapter (or a lot for me, anyway) - thanks! It didn't really have very much impact on the plot (or what semblance of a plot I have), but I liked it. And yes, I know it was short. I'm sorry.

Like Chapter 16 this is a kinda stand alone chapter, happening a while after 16. It is now October 31, and so unfortunately you will never know whether or not Sirius was able to finish his essay in time. Oh, the sorrow...!

And to once more remind everbody, the disclaimer on chapter...3, I think...applied to all chapters. So please don't sue me, everything still belongs to J.K. Rowling.

_Anyway_, on to chapter 17! And to everbody that loves Remus, I apoligize for the first part of this chapter. I love Moony too, but to be honest, I really love writing these full-moon chapters. And they're important to character development. MmHmn. That's my excuse...

Chapter 17

"How come the older students get to go to Hogsmeade and we don't?" said Sirius indignantly, watching as a long line of 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th year students ambled down the long, winding dirt road that lead to Hogsmeade. "It's bloody unfair."

"You can go to Hogsmeade any time you like." said Remus pensively.

"It'd be a lot more fun going during the day, though." said Sirius sulkily.

"There's a feast tonight, isn't there?" asked James, walking over to join Sirius and Remus in the chilly, slightly overgrown courtyard. "For Halloween?"

"Yeah, I think there is." said Sirius, still glowering at the retreating backs of the students leaving for the village. "Why?"

James rolled his eyes at Remus. "C'mon, we're going inside." he said, grabbing Sirius' arm and half dragging him across the courtyard and back into the castle.

"What?! But, James –"

"It's freezing out here, Sirius! And besides, we still haven't planned this evening's prank for Snivellus."

Sirius' face brightened considerably. "Forgot about that. Room of Requirement, than?"

James grinned. "Of course. C'mon, Remus." he added, glancing back over his shoulder at his friend. Remus gazed uneasily around the grounds once more before hurrying after James and Sirius.

:

"You know, this would probably go a lot faster if you two would help." said James, looking up from _A Compendium of Basic Hexes and Jinxes _and glancing over at Sirius and Peter, who were playing a game of wizards' chess on the large, thick, scarlet rug in front of the fireplace – Peter was losing miserably.

"You and Remus are doing a lovely job of it by yourselves." said Sirius languidly, nudging a pawn forward to take Peter's queen. "Ha ha – die, evil sovereign...."

James rolled his eyes and returned to his book. "Here's one," he said, eyes skimming quickly down the page. "The Cantor Charm – 'causes victims to sing uncontrollably for five minutes....' Might be good for when Dumbledore starts his speech....What's wrong, Remus?"

Remus' face was drawn and pale; his eyes seemed overlarge as they gazed almost fearfully out of the window at the darkening grounds, and he was trembling slightly. "I – nothing." he muttered, glancing back down at the book he was holding. "The charm's great, really great...."

James exchanged a worried glance with Sirius. "Are you sure you're alright?" began Sirius concernedly. "Because you look really – "

"I'm fine, alright?" burst out Remus angrily, slamming his book down on the table and standing up. His breathing quickening, he turned and gazed out the window at the sky, which was just beginning to grow dark. "I have to go." he said curtly, turning and walking across the room towards the door. He had hardly reached it, however, when he stumbled and fell over.

James and Sirius jumped to their feet and hurried to help Remus up, Peter tailing them anxiously.

"I, I'm fine...," Remus mumbled distractedly, his eyes beginning to glaze over. "Fine...really...."

"We're taking you to the Hospital Wing." said James firmly, ignoring Remus' protests as he slung his friend's arm over his shoulder. "Sirius...." Sirius hurried over and pulled Remus' other arm over his shoulder – Peter pulled the door open and together they dragged Remus down the hall, Peter hurrying after them.

"I think I can get there by myself, thanks." muttered Remus, closing his eyes.

"And deny us the pleasure of dragging you comatose through the hallways?" asked Sirius indignantly. "I think not – and besides, we're nearly there."

"Liar." rasped Remus, opening one eye and glaring at Sirius.

"He's not lying, actually." said James, squinting ahead. "It's gotta be a first – oh, this is useless. Light up your wand, would you Peter?"

"How?" squeaked Peter nervously.

"Soak it in gasoline and light it with a match." said Sirius sardonically. "How'd you think?!"

"I-I...."

"Lumos." mumbled Remus – his breath was beginning to come in short, irregular gasps. "Hold it in front of you and say 'lumos', and it will light up."

"Oh – lumos!" His wand tip glowed faintly, casting a feeble light on the corridor's stone floor.

Snorting exasperatedly, Sirius grabbed Peter's wand and said clearly "Lumos!" The tip of the wand flared brilliantly, illuminating the empty, portrait-strewn hallway, and Sirius handed it back to Peter.

"Learn how to cast some decent spells, would you?" he said irritably – Peter squeaked and nodded vehemently. "Good, I – Remus!"

Remus had pitched suddenly forward, dragging Sirius and James down with him. He seemed to be unconscious.

"I'm thinking this is not good." said James, struggling to hold up Remus.

"Have to agree with you, mate." said Sirius. "Run and fetch a teacher, would you?" he added, glancing over at Peter. Peter nodded nervously and, edging around Remus, he hurried off down the hallway, his wand held straight out in front of him.

James and Sirius lowered Remus carefully onto the floor, then sat themselves cross-legged on either side of him.

"You know, this is the second time he's been like this." said James thoughtfully, pulling out his wand. "Lumos."

"He's never fainted before." said Sirius, frowning.

"Well, no, but remember that time last month when he came into our dormitory and was all pale and shaky and everything?"

Sirius frowned again. "So you think they're related? That time and this time, I mean?"

"Well, that would kind of make sense, wouldn't it? If Evans –" He stopped abruptly, turning around. Peter was hurrying back towards them, Professor McGonagall close on his heels.

"He's over there, Professor." Peter said anxiously, pointing to where Remus was lying between Sirius and James. She hurried over, looking worried.

"He fainted, Professor." said James, moving over to make room for her. "We were bringing him to the Hospital Wing and –"

"Yes, yes – thank you very much, you three. Now hurry along, the Halloween Feast is about to start."

"What? But, Professor –"

"Do not argue with me, Mr. Black. The Feast starts in five minutes and I can assure you that I am more than capable of bringing Mr. Lupin to the Hospital Wing by myself. Mobilicorpus." Remus rose up into the air, apparently being directed by Professor McGonagall's wand.

James and Sirius gaped at her. "Professor, we –"

"I can assure you that Mr. Lupin will be fine, Mr. Potter." she said brusquely. "You, on the other hand, will not be unless you leave for the Feast _now_." She flicked her wand at Remus' floating body – he drifted off ahead of her and she strode briskly after him and out of sight.

"That old _bat_." said Sirius furiously. "Who's she to tell us that we can't drag our unconscious friend up to the Hospital Wing? That's unfair, that is."

"We should probably go down to the feast before she goes down and sees we're not there." said Peter nervously.

Sirius sighed angrily. "The older students go to Hogsmeade, Remus becomes suddenly ill, Remus faints, Peter and I don't get to finish our chess game, and McGonagall absconds with our friend." he said bitterly, ticking them off on his fingers. "And to cap it all off, we don't even find a curse to use on Snape!"

:

"Where's Remus?" demanded James loudly, crossing his arms and glaring stubbornly at Madam Pomfrey.

"He's not feeling well right now, my dears; perhaps if you came back this evening...." began Madam Pomfrey soothingly, though she stood firmly in Sirius, Peter, and James' way.

"First McGonagall, now you." said Sirius, disgruntled. "Why does it seem like all the teachers at Hogwarts are conspiring against us?"

Madam Pomfrey ignored him and bustled off down the long, airy hall, calling over her shoulder "I'm afraid you'll just have to come back later, dears. He's still feeling rather ill." James glared at her retreating back.

"Evil old hag." he muttered under his breath. Turning to Sirius and Peter, he clapped his hands and said briskly "Right – onto plan B, then."

"Um, there's a plan B?" asked Peter, looking confused.

"Well, not at the moment, no." said James, his eyes beginning to glow fanatically. "But we'll come up with one soon enough."

Sirius grinned. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he raised his voice and shouted "Never fear, Remus! We shall liberate you from this prison soon enough! And we'll be going now...." he added hastily, as Madam Pomfrey shrieked indignantly and turned around to chase them out of the Hospital Wing.

:

"Nope, he's not in this one." muttered James, peering down at a curly-haired girl who had had her nose inflated to roughly the size of a large melon. "How many beds do they _have_ in this place...?"

"Maybe he's in the one with the curtains?" suggested Sirius, pointing to a bed at the far end of the Wing.

James shrugged. "Worth a try, I guess." he whispered, starting forward. "Ouch, Peter – that was my foot."

The three of them were crammed together under the invisibility cloak, inching their way slowly down the Hospital Wing and peering down at each bed they passed to see if Remus was there.

"You were right!" whispered James gleefully, stopping at last before the screened bed and pushing the stark white curtains aside slightly. "It's Remus!"

Remus was lying flat on his back, gazing with apparent boredom up at the high, vaulted ceiling. He was still rather pale and peaky-looking, and he had two large bandages running diagonally across his left cheek.

He glanced over as the curtains parted, and his eyes widened. "It's us...," hissed James, before Remus could say anything. "We've come to rescue you from the tortures of Madam Pomfrey."

"Are all three of you there?" muttered Remus, pulling himself up so that he was leaning back on his elbows.

"Yep." said Sirius cheerfully. "Now lie down and whatever you do don't say _anything_."

"But –"

"Oh, hush." said James exasperatedly. "Do you want to leave or not?"

"Actually, I –"

"Pomfrey's coming!" said Peter in an alarmed whisper. The curtains closed hurriedly and Remus could hear his three friends backing away. A moment later Madam Pomfrey bustled over to him, clicking her tongue sympathetically.

"How are you feeling, dear?" she asked kindly. "Any better?"

"What? Oh, yes – much better." said Remus distractedly. She smiled approvingly.

"Good, very good – your friends dropped by here earlier, you know."

"Yes, I heard them." said Remus dryly, gazing in the direction he knew Sirius, James, and Peter were standing.

"They may be dropping by later this evening, and then you can go back to your dormitory with them. And do tell them to be quiet, will you?" she added, annoyed. "They woke up nearly all my patients....Yes, well, try and get a bit more sleep, dear." She hurried off towards the very end of the Wing, where there was a small, blonde-haired boy whose face was almost completely obscured by large green boils.

"Right," said Sirius briskly; the curtain parted again, and Sirius appeared suddenly, hopping up to sit cross-legged on the end of Remus' bed.

"Sirius, what are you –"

"Hullo, Remus." said James brightly, sticking his now visible head through the parting in the curtains behind Remus' head. "Lovely to see you again....Now be quiet, we're about to leave."

"Leave? Leave wh – AAHHH!" His bed had zoomed suddenly forward, having apparently been pushed forward and off down the Hall. Remus grabbed the edge of his bed and closed his eyes, feeling slightly sick as the bed bounced up and down on the uneven stone floor. Sirius laughed, and Remus could hear Madam Pomfrey shriek in alarm as the bed flew through the open door and hurtled down a narrow, sunlit corridor. There was a sudden loud THUD, and they could hear James shouting something.

"Whose –" gasped Remus as they zipped around a corner and whooshed down a second passageway, "Insane idea was this?"

Sirius laughed. "Mine!" he said gleefully, clapping his hands delightedly. "James cast some sort of charm on it and is steering it."

"And Peter...?" asked Remus, sounding as if he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"You know that thud we just heard...?" Remus groaned.

"Hello!" said James again, sticking his head through the curtains behind Remus and grinning. "Like the escape plan?"

"Love it." said Remus sarcastically. "Absolutely brilliant. Do you two have any idea how much trouble you're going to be in for this?"

"Since when has that ever bothered us?" asked Sirius, his eyes dancing mischievously.

Remus sighed. "Fair point."

James pulled his head back out of the curtains. "Almost there!" he called, craning his neck to peer over the top of the bed. "Just one more hallway – ack! A bunch of second-years! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" he bellowed, and Remus could hear about ten students screaming as they dove for cover. Sirius laughed and Remus groaned.

"Here we are!" said James cheerfully. The bed skidded to a sudden halt, sending Remus crashing forward into Sirius. James hopped off his perch at the headboard and pulled the curtains open, bowing dramatically. "Gryffindor Common Room, gentlemen."

"You are insane." Remus informed him, shaking slightly as he stepped off the bed. "Both of you – absolutely insane." They grinned.

_A/N_ - Well, that's it for now. Hope you liked it. And I hopefully you've forgiven me for torturing Remus in the beginning. Hopefully.

On the bright side, I've now finished Chapter 18. It took me a grand total of just over two weeks (yes, I did count), and went through TONS of rewrites. I think it rather nicely wraps up Chapter 13, though of course you'll just have to review this chapter and then decide for yourselves! And speaking of reviews...

**Misthea** - I've decided that you're my favorite reviewer - you always leave such lengthy reviews! The only problem is how I'm going to answer it...think I'll just go section by section. Should make some kind of sense...

- Glad you like the way they interact - that's one of my favorite parts of writing this, having all the dialouge between them. - _Sorry it was short - this one was a bit longer, so hopefully that will make up for it. And glad you liked the summoning - that was my favorite part of that chapter. Of course, I regretted it after I let my friend read it..._ - Yes, the length totally makes up for it! Thank you thank you thank you!!! - _Yeah, he was. Poor chap. lol. He's my favorite character so I really can't help but torture him._ - Bye.

**mydream** - gracias. Glad you liked (can't spell that in spanish, sorry).

**MackenzieRain23** **-** lol. Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

**Celebrean** - Um, ok....

**Eagle** - lol. Yeah, I'm sorry about the length. I promise, 18 will be a LOT longer. 19 might not be, but 18 definately will.

I've read pretty bad stories that get tons of reviews, and I've read ones that are absolutely brilliant and haven't even gotten 10. Much as I'd like to rival Mordred with reviews (1,491), I'm just as content with 47. My goal was to get 50, so I'm happy. And I'm glad you think my story is GREAT =)

Ok, think that's it. Review this chappie and I'll post the next, which, I promise, is both long and (I think) good. So PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!


	19. Chapter 18

_A/N_ - Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated earlier...I had the stomach flu, then school registration, etc. etc.

Anyway, thank you SO much for all your reviews! That really made my day - I just love reading them. : )

Alright....Just so everybody knows, I am incredibly nervous about this chapter. It took two weeks to write, and after all the rewrites and revisions this is the end result. I hope you like it!

Chapter 18

"Ack! James! Help!" Sirius pulled his stick out of the fire and held up the flaming remnants of what had once been a marshmallow.

Exasperated, James grabbed the stick and blew the marshmallow out. "This is the fifth one in a row you've set on fire, Sirius."

"It's not my fault I've never done this before!"

"How can you never have roasted marshmallows before?" asked Remus, pulling a perfect, golden-brown marshmallow out of the fire and grabbing the graham cracker and chocolate boxes.

"I had a deprived childhood."

Remus pulled out two graham crackers and a piece of chocolate. "It's not like it's that hard to do." he said, putting the marshmallow between the crackers and chocolate and squishing down slightly. "I could roast them fine when I was five."

"Well, just because you're perfect at everything...."

"Um, guys?" said Peter tentatively, gazing out the large, snow-covered window. James, Sirius, and Remus ignored him.

"I'm glad it's finally December." said James, stretching lazily before the fire. "Only twenty-one more days 'til Christmas...."

"Are you going home for break or staying here?" asked Remus, reaching backwards for the bag of marshmallows on the low wooden table.

"Guys –"

"No idea." said James breezily. "You?"

"Going home, I think." Remus replied, poking the marshmallow onto the end of the stick and thrusting it into the embers of the fire.

"_I'm_ staying here.' said Sirius obstinately. "I don't fancy Mum yelling at me for two weeks straight – knowing her she'll probably try and coerce our house elf into poisoning me."

"You have a house elf?" asked Remus interestedly.

"Guys, there's a – "

"Yeah." said Sirius disgustedly. "Kreacher. Most annoying elf I've ever met – he practically worships my mother, and he fawns over Regulus...."

"Regulus?"

"My brother – he's three years younger than I am, so I'm rid of him 'til fourth year, at least...."

"James...."

"_What_, Peter?" asked James exasperatedly, turning around to look at Peter.

Peter flushed. "There's an owl in the window." he said, pointing. James, Sirius, and Remus all turned to look – a large, imperious-looking eagle owl was sitting on the sill outside the window, ruffling his feathers importantly and glaring at them.

"Herpo?" said Sirius, sounding surprised.

"Herpo's your Mum's owl, right?" asked Remus, while James hurried over to open the window.

"Yeah," said Sirius, standing up as James walked back to them, Herpo perched on his arm.

"This was tied to his leg." said James, holding out an envelope and wincing slightly as Herpo dug his talons deeper into his arm and gazed around arrogantly. "Stupid bird – I swear he's trying to claw my arm off...." Herpo hooted arrogantly and soared off James' arm and through the still open window.

Sirius took the envelope and frowned. Slitting it open with his finger, he pulled out a large slip of parchment and held it up, puzzled. "It's blank," he said incredulously, flipping it over and again seeing nothing.

"Why'd your Mum send you a blank piece of parchment?" asked James, grabbing onto the side of the parchment and peering intently at it.

"No idea." said Sirius, shrugging as Remus pulled the parchment over slightly to look at it.

"Maybe – "He was cut off as a sudden jerk from somewhere behind his navel dragged him irresistibly backwards – the world disappeared in a rush of swirling sound and color, and as abruptly as it had begun, it stopped.

Sirius got to his feet, gazing around at the dark, dank room they were now in with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

James and Remus stood up too. "Your Mum sent us a portkey?" asked James, sounding rather disgruntled. "And she didn't even tell us where she sent us?"

"I know where we are." said Sirius, gazing at a large stone fireplace that cast a dismal light on the huge, musty room. "Oh, this is not good...."

A sound of mingled voices floated down a nearby set of stairs – alarmed, Sirius grabbed Remus and James' robes and dragged them over to the fireplace. "There's got to be floo powder here somewhere...." he said frantically, digging through a large ornate shelf full of dusty jars. "Where did Kreacher put it...,"

"Kreacher?" asked Remus sharply. Sirius turned to them, looking slightly guilty.

"Um, yeah...," he said, walking over to a small, square, black wooden door that was half-hidden in the far corner of the room. "This is my house – we're in the kitchen right now...." He slid the door upwards and stepped inside – James and Remus hurried to follow.

"Lumos." muttered Sirius – the tip of his wand lit up, illuminating the narrow room they were standing in. It was hardly four feet by three feet wide, though when James glanced up he couldn't see a ceiling. A rope was dangling a few feet above the ground; sticking his wand back in his pocket, Sirius grabbed onto it and began to climb up.

"Um, Sirius?" asked James, gazing up after his friend with a worried expression on his face, "What exactly are you doing?"

Sirius glanced down at them, looking rather annoyed. "Hurry up," he hissed, before continuing to pull himself up the rope. "Mum and the others are coming down; we have to get up before they find us."

James and Remus exchanged a bemused look. "I really don't think there's any point in contradicting him." said James, grabbing the rope and starting after Sirius. "It's actually not that hard to climb!" he called, glancing back down at Remus, who was still staring doubtfully at the rope. "It's all frayed and knotted...."

Remus sighed and grabbed hold of the rope reluctantly. "If I fall and break my neck," he said, bracing himself against the wall with his legs, "It shall be entirely your fault."

"Oh, don't be so pessimistic, you're not going to – Argh! Sirius!" Sirius had stopped so abruptly James nearly crashed into him. Ignoring James, Sirius fiddled with a latch on the wall, muttering to himself – at last it clicked and, grunting in a sort of self-satisfied way, Sirius slid open a door which up 'til then neither James nor Remus had noticed. The small shaft was suddenly flooded with light, and Sirius hoisted himself through the doorway and out of sight, James and Remus hurrying to follow him.

They were in a large, badly-lit room, which nonetheless appeared exceptionally bright after the near pitch blackness of the shaft. The walls were covered in peeling, slightly faded emerald-green wallpaper, and an ancient-looking picture of a silver snake writhed and hissed disturbingly in an ornate wooden frame. An almost obscenely huge four-poster bed covered in silver and green hangings took up most of one side, while the other was dominated by a dreary-looking stone fireplace.

"Where exactly are we, Sirius?" asked Remus slowly, gazing at the picture of the snake.

"Regulus' room." replied Sirius, sliding the door to the shaft closed again. "We just climbed up the food shaft – Kreacher sometimes sends food from the kitchen up to Regulus when he's too 'busy' to come down himself. Needless to say my room doesn't have one."

But what if your brother comes up?" asked Remus.

"Don't worry, he won't." said Sirius, waving his hand dismissively. "He's probably down with the rest of my family, waiting to torture me for not going into Slytherin...." The door at the left side of the room swung suddenly open, revealing a haughty-looking boy with a pale face and short, straight, ebony-black hair.

In an instant Sirius had dashed from James and Remus' side, and a second later he was marching Regulus back over to them, his hand clamped firmly over his brother's mouth.

"You tell anyone we're here," he warned, grabbing a roll of Spell-o-tape of his brother's desk as he passed, "And you shall suffer a very painful and drawn-out death."

"Yep," said James, sitting down on a thin green rug in the middle of the floor. "We shall push you off a cliff, then drown you, then bury you alive." Remus rolled his eyes and sat down next to James.

"Who are you?" asked Regulus callously – Sirius had finally removed his hand from his mouth as he tried (unsuccessfully) to tear off a piece of Spell-o-tape. "Are you more traitors from Gryffindor?" He spat out the last word as though it were something filthy.

"Yes." said James proudly, pulling out his wand. "You know, I really think this room is too dark and dismal....Mind if I brighten it up a bit?" Regulus merely crossed his arms and glared at him. "Right," said James cheerfully, obviously mistaking this for assent. "That awful picture can go first...." He waved his wand at the picture of the snake – there was a loud **bang!** and flash of bright pink light, and where the snake had been a moment before there was a fluffy orange kitten gamboling around the canvas.

Remus raised his eyebrows at James, who shrugged. "Well, I was trying for a lion...."

"These idiots are your friends?" asked Regulus cynically, his eyes narrowed as he watched James wave his wand and turn three of his walls hot pink.

"Stupid wand's defective...," said James, whacking it against the edge of Regulus' desk and accidentally sending out a shower of sparks that lit several photographs on fire. "Oops...sorry 'bout that...."

"Got it!" said Sirius triumphantly, ripping of a piece of Spell-o-tape and throwing the rest of the roll back over his shoulder at the desk, where it narrowly avoided crashing into James' head. "Now you can't tell anyone else we're here!"

Remus was debating whether or not to tell Sirius that Regulus wasn't doing that anyway when the door creaked open again. A short, stumpy house elf was standing there, completely naked except for a filthy rag tied around his waist like a loincloth. He looked up at them, blinking his muddy brown eyes slowly, and said in a deep, hoarse voice "Both Masters are up here, yes, Kreacher must tell his Mistress, how delighted she will be...."

"Of all the days you could have picked to clean...." began Sirius, frustrated. "Wait! Stop!" he called, as Kreacher turned and began to shuffle slowly off back down the hall. "I order you to come back!" The house elf obediently turned and shambled back towards them, though it was clearly against his liking. "Now," said Sirius, eyeing the elf with a look of repugnance on his face, "Tell me what Mum and the others brought me here for."

"Mistress brought young Master here to make him see sense...," said Kreacher evasively.

"Tell me what she was planning on doing to me." said Sirius, his voice hardening. "I order you to."

Kreacher was now eyeing him with a look of thinly veiled malice. "Mistress brought young master here to make him see sense." he repeated. "Master is a traitorous young swine, yes he is, who broke Mistress' heart...," he added in a furious undertone. "She must force him to change to Slytherin, oh yes, she must use Imperious...."

Sirius grinned. "Imperious, eh?" he said crossing his arms and leaning back against one of the massive bedposts. "She reckons she has to use that to make me switch? I'd like to see her try...." He had obviously forgotten that Kreacher was there, but when the elf turned around and began to walk slowly out of the room he was brought sharply back to reality. "Kreacher! Wait!" For the second time that night the elf stopped and turned around, though this time he didn't bother concealing the malevolence in his eyes.

"Yes, young master?' he said, in a throaty croak.

"Don't tell Mother or any of my other insane relatives that we're up here." he said, pocketing his wand and turning towards the window. "I order you not to – if you do I shall personally ensure that you receive that awful green sweater Aunt Elladora gave to me last Christmas. Now leave." Kreacher bowed, then continued off down the hall, muttering darkly to himself.

"Right," said Sirius briskly, shoving the window open and glancing down. "Only three feet, we should be able to just jump out...."

"Um, Sirius?" asked James, walking over to join his friend, "Aren't we in London?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I doubt we'll be able to walk all the way to Hogwarts from here...."

"And did I ever say I was planning on doing that?" asked Sirius indignantly, climbing up onto the window sill.

"Well, no, but unless you're intending to apparate...."

"We can't apparate." said Remus, striding over to join them and casting an apologetic look back at Regulus, who was lying bound and gagged on his bed. "Even if we knew how we couldn't – you can't apparate or disapparate anywhere in Hogwarts."

"How'd you know that?" asked James, sounding mildly impressed.

"It's in _Hogwarts, a History_."

"Well, I wasn't going to do that anyway." said Sirius, jumping out the window and landing cat-like on the paved ground below. "Now hurry up, before Kreacher cracks and tells Mum we're here."

Remus jumped out the window and landed lightly on the ground beside Sirius. "What is it you're planning on doing, then?"

"Have you –" He was interrupted by a loud crashing sound – James had jumped into a large clump of thorn bushes to the left of the window.

Ouch!" he yelped, jumping to his feet and backing off swiftly; his robes were torn and several inch-long thorns were stuck in his arms. "Bloody trees – of all the places your Mum could've planted 'em...."

"Well, if you had looked where you were jumping...."

"What was your plan again, Sirius?" interrupted Remus loudly, as James began to mutter darkly about invisible bushes and wretched pokey-things as he yanked the thorns out of his arms.

"Have you ever heard of the Knight Bus?" said Sirius, leading the way as they hurried towards the street. Remus frowned.

"That triple-decker bus that muggles can't see?"

"Yep." said Sirius cheerfully. "I figured we could flag it down, ride it to Hogsmeade, and then walk the rest of the way up to Hogwarts."

"Brilliant idea...," said Remus dryly, gazing at the dark, paved street before them, "With only one slight flaw. None of us have any money."

"Oh yeah...," said Sirius, his grin fading slightly.

"Sirius Black!" called a cold, harsh voice from the direction of the house. Sirius' face went white, though he looked suddenly stubborn and even a bit haughty. He spun languidly around, hands in his pockets, to face his mother.

"Yes, Mother dearest?" he said, stepping forward slightly so that he was standing in front of Remus and James. She strode towards them, her face contorted into an ugly scowl, her pallid grey robes whipping frantically about her.

"You were – supposed to – have appeared – in the – Kitchen!" she raged, her dark grey eyes blazing. "Why weren't – you – there?!"

"Remus and James requested a tour...." said Sirius, smiling innocently at her. "I really couldn't say no...."

Mrs. Black looked as though she would have dearly loved to slap him. "Get – inside – now." she demanded, her hands shaking with rage. "_Now_."

Sirius crossed his arms and grinned – he seemed to be rather enjoying himself. "No." Mrs. Black whipped out her wand and pointed it straight at her son.

"Imperio...," she hissed. Sirius froze, his eyes slightly unfocused. He shook his head dazedly, and a second later his eyes widened slightly, though only James, who was standing nearest him, noticed this.

"You do know that's illegal, don't you?" piped up James, turning to look at Mrs. Black. "You can get into _loads_ of trouble for casting the Imperious Curse...."

She turned to look at him disdainfully. "You're that Potter boy, aren't you?" she said, her upper lip curling in a sneer. "Yes, I remember you....Well, you may leave, I have no business with you."

"And if I refuse?" said James, mimicking Sirius and crossing his arms. "We're not going back to Hogwarts without Sirius."

Mrs. Black was now glaring at him as though he were a pest she wanted desperately to be rid of. "Then," she said coldly, pointing her wand at James, "You shall have to wait until I am through with him. Petrificus Totalus." A jet of emerald light shot towards James – it struck him in the chest, and he crumpled onto the road. Mrs. Black turned to glare at Remus.

"Well," he said briskly, grabbing James' arms and dragging him a few feet away, "I certainly have no argument with you. And good luck with Sirius, by the way," he added, casting a quick look over at Sirius, whom he could have sworn sent a reproachful one back. "You're going to need it."

Mrs. Black ignored him and marched back into her house, Sirius following her woodenly. Remus attempted to drag James a few more feet away, then gave up, gasping. Yanking out his wand, he pointed it at James and muttered "Movere Totalus."

"That bloody old hag...," gasped James, struggling to his feet. "That, that _evil_ –"

"Quiet," hissed Remus, glancing worriedly over at the house. "If anyone hears us...."

"I could care less if those deranged lunatics –"

"We still have to rescue Sirius." Remus reminded him, walking over to peer carefully into the dark, cobwebbed window of Sirius' house.

"Any ideas?" asked James, striding over to join him.

"Maybe...," said Remus thoughtfully, turning around to stare unseeingly at one of the bright orange streetlamps that littered the street. "If they haven't noticed him...though Kreacher may have told....But even if he has, they may not –"

"What are you on about?" asked James, frustrated. Remus ignored him and walked quickly back over to the alley running on the left side of the house, the side they jumped out into earlier.

"The window to Regulus' room is still open," he said quietly, stopping underneath the window. "We can get into the house from here, I'm sure no one will have thought to block it off...." He hoisted himself through the window and into the room.

"And have you thought of what we're going to do now?" asked James, following him and glancing around – Regulus was still lying bound and gagged on the bed, gazing contemptuously at them as they walked silently to the front of the room and opened the door leading to the hall.

"Well...no." admitted Remus, stepping out into the hall and skirting an umbrella stand made of what seemed to be a severed troll's leg. "But I'm sure we can come up with something...."

James twirled his wand thoughtfully. "Well, we could always use the fact that she cast the Imperious Curse as blackmail...." he said broodingly. "It is one of the Unforgivable Curses...."

Remus shook his head. "James, it's our word against hers. Who do you think the Ministry would believe, two eleven-year old wizards or a member of one of the most influential wizarding families in Britain? No, we'll have to come up with something else...."

"We could hold Regulus for ransom." suggested James. "Tell them we'll turn him into a toad if we don't get Sirius back."

"The main problem," mused Remus aloud, ignoring James, "Is that he'd still be under the Imperious Curse. Unless he breaks free of it or his mum takes it off him, he'll still be under its influence, no matter what we do."

"Well, we could always lock him in a room with Evans 'til he snaps out of it."

"Which means there'd really be no point 'rescuing' him, he'll get to Hogwarts anyway." said Remus, discouraged. "So the real problem is how are we going to get back and tell Dumbledore he's under the Imperious Curse before he gets there...,"

"I still say we should rescue him, though." said James, leaning idly against a grime encrusted wall next to a large, gilded picture of some distant relative of Sirius'. "I don't think it'd be a good idea to just leave him here with his family, they're all slightly touched in the –"

"You know, I'm disappointed in you two." came a voice from right next to James. "Did you honestly think Mother Dearest could control me? Tsk, tsk – surely you know me better than that." The portrait on James' left had swung aside, revealing Sirius' cockily grinning face.

"Sirius?!" hissed Remus, gazing at Sirius with an expression of mingled apprehension, annoyance, and delight. "How'd you –"

"Break free?" finished Sirius, lowering himself out of the hidden passageway and gazing around carefully. "Wasn't that hard, actually. I never obey Mum even when she's not in my head, didn't see any point in listening to her now. I was just afraid you two would leave before I had a chance to get what I needed...." He started off down the hall, stepping lightly on the ancient wooden floor.

"You do know," said Remus, hurrying forward to join him, "That there's still the minor problem of us getting back to Hogwarts." They had reached the front door, and after glancing around surreptitiously Sirius pushed it open.

"Don't worry," said Sirius, grinning as he jogged forward towards the road, "That won't be a problem."

He stuck out his right arm – there was a loud BANG, and a second later a bright purple, triple-decker bus was hurtling down the street towards them, skidding to a stop directly in front of Sirius. A scrawny wizard no older than eighteen with a shock of bright red hair on top of his head jumped out – clearing his throat, he said loudly "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transportation for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Will Munculus, and I will be your conductor this –"

"Yes, yes, we get the point." said Sirius impatiently. "How much to travel to Hogsmeade?"

"Eleven sickles." said Will proudly. "But for fourteen you get 'ot chocolate, and for fifteen you get –" Sirius pulled something out of his front pocket.

"Will this do?" he asked, holding up a huge, ornate necklace made of what appeared to be solid silver.

Will's jaw dropped. "Blimey," he said weakly, grabbing the necklace from Sirius. "That, that's solid silver, that is."

"Well, that should pay for the three of us." said Sirius cheerfully, climbing up the short set of stairs into the bus. Will gaped at him.

"How do I know you 'aven't stole it?" he said suspiciously.

"Do I look like the kind of person who'd steal something like that?" asked Sirius indignantly. "My Mum gave it to me – now, are you going to let us on or not?"

Will moved reluctantly out of the way, and James and Remus hurried to follow Sirius up into the bus.

_A/N_ - Well, that's it for now. I hope you liked it - I had this really great cliffie planned, but I just couldn't get it to fit with chapter 19. Which, by the way, isn't done yet. So, you might have to wait quite a bit for the next chapter.

Anyway, it's time to thank all of those lovely people who left me a review!

**Misthea** - I was laughing so hard when I read your review! I'm glad you and your nephew liked it =)

**mydream** - Glad you think so =)

**BluePhoenixFire** - Thanks!

**Celebrean** - lol. Well, I hope you enjoyed your hyper-ness : )

**hikki116** - glad you think so - I posted as soon as I could!

**Eladriewen** - I'm glad you like it so far - I love your story, by the way. I read chapter 2 and thought it was absolutely brilliant.

Alright, think that's it for now. I hope you guys liked that chapter, and hopefully you won't have to wait _too_ long for the next chapter.

Bye, and please remember to REVIEW!!!!!


	20. Chapter 19

_A/N_ - Wow, you have no idea how many rewrites I went through to get this to you guys! This chapter and I have a love-hate realationship, because it sort of killed off my muse, so I hope you guys like it. =)

Oh, and as some of you may have noticed, I posted another fic a few days ago (I'm warning you now - if you don't like post ootp angst, don't read it). Don't worry, it WILL NOT interfere with my updating on this. However, school might. My first day of high school is tomorow (eek!), and I have no idea what the homework load is going to be like. So if updates are a bit more sporadic, don't worry, I'm not abandoning this, I'm just way behind on homework.

That being said...onto chapter 19! This is more a wrap-up of 18 and intro to 20 than anything else, and yes I know it's short and I'm sorry ahead of time. I hope you like it anyway =)

Chapter 19

"You know, this would be a lot easier if we had the invisibility cloak." whispered Sirius, squinting through the near pitch-black hallway to try and discern where they were.

"Why don't we just light our wands?" asked James, pulling out his own and holding it up.

"No!" hissed Remus, who was right behind him. "If anybody sees...."

"Oh, who'd be up now? Honestly, Remus – you worry too much. Lumos." The tip of his wand lit up, illuminating a large suit of armor and several portraits. "See?" said James, turning to look at Remus and grinning. "Nothing to –"

"Why, good evening, Black, Potter, Lupin." Professor Cattivo was standing in front of them, her arms crossed and an evil smirk playing across her lips. "This is rather an inconvenient hour to be traipsing about the castle, is it not?"

James was trying very hard not to laugh at the look on Remus' face. "Now, really, Professor, do you think we'd –"

"We're terribly sorry to have disturbed you in your, um, walk, Professor." interrupted Remus hurriedly. "We were just on our way back up to our dormitory, so –"

"Turn off that light, would you?" snapped a portrait of a wizened old wizard in an emerald nightcap. Professor Cattivo glared at him, then turned back to Sirius, James, and Remus, her eyes now glinting with a sort of vindictive pleasure. "The headmaster wishes to see you." she said. "Follow me."

"Ah, Professor Cattivo – you found them, then?" Professor Dumbledore was sitting behind a huge, ornate wooden desk, dressed in an indigo robe twinkling with silver stars.

"Yes, Headmaster." she said silkily, inclining her head slightly and stepping to the side so that Sirius, James, and Remus now stood directly in front of Dumbledore.

"Ah, splendid. Thank you very much, Professor. Now, if you would please excuse us...."

The derisive smirk on Professor Cattivo's face vanished in an instant. "'Excuse...?' But, headmaster, I –" She seemed to be at a loss for words – glaring once more at Sirius, James, and Remus, she turned and stormed out of Dumbledore's office, slamming the door shut behind her.

Dumbledore clapped his hands brightly, his light blue eyes twinkling, and said cheerfully "Well, I suppose you three already know why you are here."

James and Remus both turned to look at Sirius. "Um...."

Dumbledore pyramided his fingers and waited patiently for Sirius to continue. "Yes?"

"We, er...,"

"Shall I refresh your memory?" asked Dumbledore with a smile. "At 1:03 this morning you three disembarked from the Knight Bus, trekked through Hogsmeade, entered Honeydukes, apparently left Honeydukes, and at precisely 1:37 were spotted by Professor Cattivo in the Charms corridor. Did I forget anything?"

Remus and Sirius seemed too shocked to speak, so James said cheerfully "Nope, I think that's about it, Professor." Remus looked over at him, alarmed.

"I found another one, Headmaster." Argus Filch was standing at the doorway, a sadistic, yellow-toothed grin stretched across his pock-marked face. "Wanderin' round the Owlery, claimed she was waitin' for her owl to come back...." Filch snorted, as though the prospect of an owl ever going to the Owlery was ridiculous. "Brought her up here to see what you wanted me to do with her...." His grin widened, as though he were apparently relishing the thought of the tortures he could inflict upon this truant.

"And who exactly did you abduct, Argus?" said Dumbledore, sounding amused.

Filch grinned and made as though to step aside, but before he could do so a clear, annoyed voice said "Me.", and a short, red-haired girl wearing a rather rumpled purple robe stepped around him.

James laughed and clapped his hands delightedly. "Evans!"

"Out of bounds at 1:30 in the morning?" said Sirius, sounding deeply impressed. "Congratulations, Evans – you finally got over your bout of prefect-ness."

She looked over at Sirius contemptuously, crossing her arms and narrowing her emerald green eyes. "I should have known you'd be here, Black, Potter."

"You're saying that like it's a bad thing." said James, grinning.

Lily didn't bother answering him, just turned to Dumbledore and said "Professor, I was waiting in the Owlery for an important letter from my Mum when Mr. Filch grabbed me and brought me up here. My Mum and my dad might be taking my sister, Petunia, to France to visit a boarding school during break, and I wanted to know as soon as possible since we have to decide whether we're leaving or staying for break by tomorrow...," Dumbledore raised a hand to stem her explanation.

"If you would please excuse us, Mr. Filch?" he said, his light blue eyes twinkling as he looked over Lily's shoulder at Filch, who had remained standing in the doorway.

"Yes, Headmaster." Slowly Filch turned around and shambled back out of the doorway, throwing an anticipatory leer back at them before shutting the door behind him.

"Right." said Dumbledore briskly, turning back to look at Sirius, James, and Remus, forgetting about Lily for the moment. "Your story please, Mr. Black."

Sirius turned to look at his two friends – James was still laughing silently at the fact that Lily had been caught out of bounds, while Remus had a look on his face that suggested impending doom. Sirius grinned roguishly, then turned back to Dumbledore.

"Well," he said, leaning against the back of a rather cushy armchair and crossing his arms, "It really was rather strange how it happened. You see, we were doing our, er, homework in front of the Common Room fire when Remus had a sudden craving for chocolate." He heard Remus choke behind him, but he only grinned wider and continued. "We really did try to stop him, Professor, but it was no use. Before we could do anything he threw a handful of floo powder into the fire and was gone." Sirius was trying very hard not to laugh now. "Sadly, Remus is terribly afraid of fire, and at the last minute he grabbed James and I and pulled us in with him." He could almost feel Remus glaring at him. "Unfortunately, James and I weren't suspecting it, and as he was being dragged in James shouted something. Next thing we knew we were in...."

"...the Leaky Cauldron." finished James, grinning as he picked up on Sirius' story. "Fortunately Remus had some money on him, as he had been planning on buying himself some chocolate, and after about five minutes Sirius and I managed to convince him to use the sickles to get us tickets on the Knight Bus. We then had the Knight Bus drop us off in Hogsmeade, walked over to Honeydukes, and went in so Remus could get his...."

"...chocolate." said Sirius. "Then we walked, er, _jogged_ back up to the castle, and we were on our way up to our dormitory when Professor Cattivo decided to kidnap us and bring us here."

Lily looked incredulously at James and Sirius, as though amazed that they thought anybody, least of all Dumbledore, would believe them, while Remus was at once trying to look indifferent, as though this story was nothing new to him, while at the same time looking as though he wanted to strangle Sirius. Dumbledore, however, was looking at Sirius intently, and Sirius, pretending to be hurt, said "What, Professor – you don't believe me?"

Dumbledore smiled, much to the amazement of Lily, and said cheerfully "Not at all, Mr. Black. I do, however, have one last question – did Mr. Lupin ever manage to get his chocolate, considering that he no longer had any money?"

"I – what?" asked Remus, disconcerted.

Sirius adopted a look of regretful sadness, and he leaned forward so that his elbows were on Dumbledore's desk. "He did." said Sirius woefully. "Alas, he was so desperate by then that he left us no choice other than to steal it. Don't worry, though." he added, grinning as he straightened back up. "We wrote a note promising to pay them back in two years."

Dumbledore laughed merrily. "I am relieved, Mr. Black. However, I am afraid I cannot let this incident go without punishment. Messrs. Black, Potter, and Lupin, and Miss Evans, you will be staying at Hogwarts this Christmas break and will assist Professor McGonagall in whatever tasks she needs assistance with."

"Staying...? But, Professor Dumbledore, I was just –"

"Miss Evans, you were out of bounds at 1:30 in the morning – therefore, you too will have a share in the punishment." Dumbledore looked highly amused as he surveyed his students – Lily looked horrified, James and Sirius delighted, and Remus looked as though he wanted to murder the both of them. "Very well, then – I believe you will be the only students from Gryffindor who are staying for the holidays, so do try and get along. You are dismissed."

Sirius and James, grinning broadly, each gave a flourishing bow and sauntered over to the door, grabbing Remus by the arms and dragging him between them.

"See, that wasn't too bad, was it?" said James, laughing as they reached the bottom of the spiral staircase.

"'A sudden craving for chocolate?'" said Remus disbelievingly. "That was your brilliant excuse?"

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Oh, stop acting so much like Evans. You had fun tonight. Admit it."

Remus just shook his head, but if James or Sirius had looked harder they would have seen that he was smiling.

_A/N_ - And that's it for now. Hopefully you liked it a bit. I'm listening to "Dancing with Myself" by Billy Idol right now and that song just totally reminds me of Sirius...sorry, no idea where that came from. On to replies to reviews : )

**Padfoot692** - Thanks - I'm glad you liked it. Your story wasn't what I was expecting either...but better, definately ; )

**Misthea** - I'm glad you liked it - it was a bit of a challenge keeping it funny around Sirius' family, but I think the end result turned out alright.

Yeah...Sirius' turn next! (evil grin) By the way, thanks for reviewing my other fic! No, it won't interfere with my updates, but school might. Sadly.

**Celebrean** - Lol. Glad you liked it.

**mydream** - this was as soon as I could update - hope it was quick enough!

Alright, think that's it for now. Please review, tell me what you think, and wish me luck in high school : ). Bye!


	21. Chapter 20

_A/N_ - Wow...I feel so incredibly guilty about how long it took me to post this chapter. And you guys were so nice and sent me so many brilliant reviews....Argh! I'M SORRY!

Alright - time for the inevitable excuses : ). First off, school's kept me busy - I'm taking all honors classes and thus have about 1 - 2 hours of homework a night. Not fun. Then, of course, I've been reading (and writing) a lot of angst lately - not the most helpful thing in the world when you are trying to write humor. That one's entirely my fault, I'm sorry. And, (last but not least), I was attacked by a rather nasty bout of plotless-ness. This story seems to have been getting that a lot lately.

Ok - you guys probably want to read this chappie more than you want to hear me rant, so here you go! The latest, long-awaited installation in TwoWay Mirrors...Chapter 20!

Chapter 20

"Merry Christmas to me, merry Christmas to me, may-I-get-more-presents-than-Sirius, merry Christmas to me!"

"Wrong song, James." yawned Remus, sitting up and rubbing his eyes blearily. James grinned.

"Well, we ran out of Christmas carols to serenade you with about an hour ago. Took you _forever_ to get up."

Remus frowned slightly. "Why, what time is it?"

"Six in the morning." replied Sirius cheerfully, a large pile of unopened presents in front of him on his bed. "We've been up since four."

Remus gaped at them, his light brown hair nearly as messy as James', and said weakly "You got me up at _six_?"

"Yep." said James, bouncing impatiently up and down on his bed. "Now are you going to get up so we can open presents or not?"

Remus stared at him incredulously. "Why didn't you just open presents _without _me?"

Sirius looked at him crossly. "Now, would that be a Marauder-ish thing to do?"

Remus groaned and flopped backwards onto his bed. Sirius glanced exasperatedly over at James, then rolled his eyes and began to sing at the top of his voice "GOD REST YE MERRY HIPPOGRIFFS…."

:::::

"You know, I really don't think this is a good idea." whispered Remus, eyeing James and Sirius, both of whom were wearing identical, evil grins, apprehensively.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius, looking insulted. "It is a stroke of pure –"

"Shut, up, she's coming!" hissed James, backing hurriedly behind a large statue of Emeric the Arrogant and tossing the invisibility cloak to Sirius. "Alright – I'm not exactly sure how to do this, so I apologize ahead of time if I misaim and hit one of you."

"Is that likely?" asked Remus anxiously. James ignored him and, a roguish grin on his face, sauntered out from behind the statue, his wand hidden behind his back as he went out to greet the person walking towards them.

"Hullo, Evans!" he called cheerfully. Lily, who had apparently not expected to see him there, stopped short, an annoyed scowl coming onto her face.

"Why are you here, Potter?"

James' grin widened. "Why, to give you your Christmas present, of course." He whipped his wand out from behind his back, and before Lily could so much as step back he said pleasantly "Stupefy!"

A brilliant jet of red light shot out of his wand and hit Lily straight in the chest – a furious look came onto her face, and a second later she dropped to the floor, her books clattering onto the ground around her. James pocketed his wand, looking exceptionally pleased with himself, and walked over to look down at her. Sirius and Remus walked over to join him.

Sirius threw the cloak over Lily. "Third floor then, mates?"

:::::

"This would probably…," gasped Sirius, staggering slightly as they walked down a low, dank passageway lit only from the light coming from James and Remus' wands, "Be a lot easier if you two would help."

"Oh, stop whining, we're almost there." said James, squinting ahead to try and see where they were. "We've been going up for at least ten minutes, we should – Ow!" He stopped suddenly, rubbing his head and glaring accusingly up at the ceiling. "Stupid door." he muttered under his breath, sticking his wand in his pocket and pushing up on the trapdoor. It swung open reluctantly, and he clambered through, Remus scrambling up after him. Sirius remained in the passageway, glaring up at them.

"You planning on coming up, then?" asked James impatiently.

"And how," asked Sirius sarcastically, "Do you expect me to get up there carrying Evans?"

James, who apparently hadn't considered this, frowned slightly, but a second later his face split into a wide grin and, pulling out his wand with a flourish, he pointed it at Lily, who was lying draped in Sirius' arms, and said dramatically, "Enervate!"

Lily blinked and opened her eyes; for a moment she looked confused, but then, apparently remembering what had happened, a livid expression came onto her face, and she pushed herself away from Sirius, who appeared to be only too glad to be rid of her. "**_WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, POTTER?!_**"

James pretended to be hurt. "Why, Evans, I was only trying to give you a Christmas present."

"**_THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A PRESENT?! STUNNING ME, KIDNAPPING ME, BRINGING ME DOWN HERE TO THIS, THIS UNDERGROUND PASSAGEWAY,–_**"

James adopted a sorrowful look. "We had no choice, Evans. If we hadn't stunned you you would have told one of the teachers about the passage…."

"….Which would mean we couldn't use it anymore…." continued Sirius, clambering through the trapdoor to join James and Remus.

"….And for some reason they seem to think that would be a bad thing." finished Remus, looking apologetically over at Lily.

Lily's face was nearly as bright red as her hair now. "_Then why_," she whispered, her voice deadly soft, "_Did you bring me down here in the first place_?"

James and Sirius both grinned. "Ever heard of The Three Broomsticks, Evans?"

:::::

"Right," said James brightly, pushing open the large wooden door leading into The Three Broomsticks and entering the cheerful looking pub, "Here we are."

"'Bout time." grumbled Sirius, wringing out his long black hair. "We've been walking for at least half and hour…."

"Well, you try finding the place in a snowstorm…,"

"Don't you think the people here will find it a bit suspicious that four first years are here on Christmas Day?" asked Remus, entering after Sirius and wiping snowflakes out of his eyes.

"'Course not." said James dismissively, as Lily walked in after Remus, still looking severely disgruntled.

"Once we get back up to the castle, Potter…,"

James ignored her and walked up to the bartender, a cheerful-looking old man with thick grayish hair and bright, twinkling brown eyes. "Hello, sir!" said James brightly, drawing a few sickles out of his pockets and putting them on the counter. "Four butterbeers, please."

The man looked down at him, amused, and said roughly "Arn' ya supp'sed ta be en school?"

James looked revolted at the very thought. "At school? On Christmas? No, my good sir, we all came back to Hogsmeade for the holidays. This is Sirius Lupin," he said cheerfully, pointing to Sirius, "Remus Evans, and Lily Potter." He grinned as he heard Lily sputter indignantly. "And I," he said solemnly, his eyes twinkling, "Am James Black."

"Ar' ye now…," said the bartender, frowning thoughtfully as he looked at them.

"Yep." said Sirius cheerfully, taking the butterbeers that the bartender had set on the counter and tossing them to Remus and Lily. Lily, who was still glowering furiously at James, didn't seem to have noticed that Sirius had flung a butterbeer at her – with a splintering _crash _it smashed into the wall right over her head, drenching her with the sticky, sweet-smelling liquid.

She blinked, wiping it out of her eyes, as the entire pub turned to look at her. "Ar' yeh alrigh', Miss Potter?" asked the bartender, looking concerned.

Lily glared at him, then at Sirius and James, who were both laughing silently at the look on her face. "You…," she hissed, her fists clenched as she glowered at James.

"Yes, Miss Potter?" he said, trying exceptionally hard not to laugh. Her eyes narrowed, and she looked as though she would have dearly loved to curse him.

The bartender, who didn't seem to quite understand what was going on, said, after a short pause, (during which Lily was still glaring murderously at James, James was doing an admirable job of appearing innocent, Sirius had given into temptation and was laughing hysterically, and Remus looked rather exasperated at the lot of them), he said "So will yeh be wantin' anothe' drink, Miss –"

"You say it again," said Lily, not removing her death-glare from James' face, "And you will regret it." Turning around, she stalked over to the door, thrust it open, and strode out, slamming it shut behind her.

James gazed mournfully after her. "We should probably go after her before she gets lost, shouldn't we."

"Yeah, probably." sighed Sirius sadly.

They stood silently for a few minutes, staring solemnly at the door and sipping their butterbeers absent-mindedly. "You know," said Sirius suddenly, his face brightening, "We could probably, could probably explore the Shrieking Shack some more, or something, then come back and find E – er, Lily, later. I mean, it's not like she's going to freeze to death or anything…."

James appeared equally delighted with the idea, and, turning to the bartender, lowered his voice conspiratorially and whispered "What do you think, old chap?"

The bartender appeared to deliberate the point. "Well," he said slowly, apparently thinking it over, "Well, she ar' ra'her an irri'able lass, ain' she…."

"You have no idea." muttered Sirius under his breath.

"An' she din't seem teh like bein' round yeh much, so –"

"My sentiments exactly." interrupted James, grinning and clapping his hands. "Right – so we ditch Lily, head to…somewhere else, and come back and find her later."

Remus looked highly skeptical about this plan, but before he could say anything the door to the pub had blown open – instinctively the three boys turned around, then, just as quickly, whirled back, a mixture of shock, delight, fear, and, (in Remus' case), resignation coming onto their faces.

Professor Cattivo stepped inside, shaking snow out of her silky blonde hair and glancing around contemptuously. Walking over to the bar, she sat down next to where Sirius was standing, beckoning the bartender to her with a haughty wave of her hand.

"You know, this probably isn't a good thing." said James, stifling a laugh at the look on Remus' face.

"You think?" said Remus sarcastically. "Have any more 'brilliant' escape plans up your sleeve?"

"No, actually."

Remus groaned and looked over at Sirius, who was grinning as he tried to edge inconspicuously around Professor Cattivo. "We're trapped."

James looked appalled that Remus would even suggest such a thing. "We're the _Marauders_, Remus! We do _not_ get caught. Especially by evil old hags like Professor Cattivo. Now stop being so pessimistic and start coming up with an escape plan."

"James, we're –" For the second time that afternoon the door leading into the Three Broomsticks gusted open, revealing a rather flushed and annoyed-looking Lily Evans.

"Potter! Black! Where are you, I –" She stopped suddenly, a slow, malicious grin spreading across her face as she saw their predicament. Professor Cattivo, who was muttering furiously about flooded dungeons and blockheaded students, didn't bother looking up as Lily sauntered inside, leaning languidly against the wall and smirking at Sirius and James.

"Help us!" mouthed Sirius, who was trapped between Professor Cattivo and the wall. Lily's smirk only grew wider.

"Isn't she supposed to be the bold, chivalrous Gryffindor, coming and rescuing us from the evil and vindictive clutches of Cattivo?" asked James indignantly, crossing his arms and looking rather grumpy to be at the whim of Lily.

"Well, you did kidnap her and bring her here against her will…"

"She would have had fun if she hadn't insisted on being so prefect-ish."

"…smashed a butterbeer over her head…"

"Well, it's not _our_ fault she doesn't know how to catch."

"…and didn't bother going after her when she walked out into the snowstorm…."

"Just because she gets all annoyed and decides she's going to leave right after we got here…!"

"….And you really expect her to try and get us out of here?"

"Well, she likes you, doesn't she?"

"Did you listen to anything I just said?"

"Well, yes, but still. She had to have had a _bit_ of fun today – you'd think she'd show some gratitude."

"You didn't listen, did you."

"Well, I got the gist of it."

They were interrupted as someone grabbed Remus' arm. Lily was standing there, though neither of them had the faintest idea how she had snuck past Cattivo, and her bright green eyes sparked with a mixture of annoyance, worry, and, (when she looked at James), detestation. "Hurry up, Black's already waiting outside." she hissed, dragging Remus after her as she crouched down and darted behind the bar.

"What do you mean, Sirius is already outside?" said James blankly. "How'd he get past that old bat?" Lily, who looked as though she couldn't believe she was actually helping _him_ escape, growled softly and didn't bother answering.

James sighed melodramatically. "Is this all the thanks we get, Evans? After our generous, self-sacrificing –"

"For the record, Potter," she hissed viciously, "I am only helping you escape because I haven't the faintest idea how to get back to the castle by myself." She straightened as they reached the door – pulling it open, she stepped outside, James and Remus hurrying after her.

"Hullo, mates." said Sirius cheerfully, swatting vainly at the snowflakes that were swirling down to settle in his hair. "Had to have Evans rescue you, did you? Not that that's a bad thing…." he added hastily, as Lily glared furiously at him. "No, er, shame and embarrassment in having to be rescued by her…."

:::::

"Well, it wasn't a _complete_ waste of a day." yawned James, sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of the Common Room fire next to a large box of Chocolate Frogs. "I mean, alright, we didn't exactly _do_ anything, but still…."

"We did get to curse Evans." said Sirius thoughtfully; he was methodically ripping, balling, and tossing into the fire the emerald green-and-silver silk dress robes his mother had sent him. "That was fun."

"But then we had to suffer the humiliation of being saved by her." said James gloomily, as though there were no thing worse on earth than being in the debt of Lily Evans. "She's never going to let us live that down."

"Ah, well." yawned Sirius, stretching and laying down on the ground next to Remus, who was already asleep. "Least it wasn't Snivellus."

_A/N_ - Yes, I'm sorry, but that's it for now. I hope you liked it a bit...not the best chapter I've ever written, I know, but not the worst either. Considering how hectic life's been lately I thought it turned out very well. And now, on to my favorite part of updating - replying to reviewers!

**Celebrean** - lol. Yes, unfortuantely, I've already had to start school. And, sadly enough, I can never seem to get away with writing fan fiction in class. Annoying teachers. : )

**Eagle** - Well, needless to say, I felt rather guilty after rereading the end of your review tonight...I'm sorry I couldn't post this earlier! 'Bout your constructive criticism...you were reading me mind, weren't you? lol. I totally agree with everything you said - as you can see from 18 - 20 I've already started doing three or so at a time. Thanks for the advice, and hope you liked this chappie!

**hikki116** - Thanks : ). Trust me, the homework load only gets worse. Hope you liked this chapter, and thanks for reviewing 'gain!

**mydream** - thanks, and I'm glad : )

- well, whoever you were that reviewed Chapter 11, thanks! I'm glad you thought so.

**Misthea** - Hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter. I'm glad you liked the last one so much - so many people in ff-dom make Remus addicted to chocolate that this was kind of a pun on them...nobody seemed to notice it, but oh well. It adds 'depth' to the writing : ) (By the way, incorrigibleness is a word. I checked). And thanks for that lovely compliment - it really made my day. And I'm glad you don't mind waiting too long for my updates - hopefully they won't take as long as this one, but I can't promise anything. Death is Nothing's should prove faster, I'm having more of an...inspiration with that, you could say. As always, thanks for reviewing!

**Jenn Black** - Yay, a new reviewer! Although, unfortuantely, I don't really get what you mean by the first part of your review (alas, they would have told the truth)...and sorry, but I checked and in the thrid book Remus says "But then Dumbledore became headmaster, and he was sympathetic." Oh well. Thanks for reviewing!

**lilroxyn03** - Review-mongering, eh? Can't say I haven't been tempted to do the same...however, before you ask me to read your fic I'd appreciate it if you'd at least read a bit more of mine. Thanks! Your fic was great : )

Alright - I'm pretty sure I got everybody. Thanks you SO much for reviewing everybody, you have no idea how much it helps. Let's try to get to 70 with this chapter, shall we? As always, hope you liked this chapter, and PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!

Bye, and God Bless America.


	22. Chapter 21

_A/N_ - You know, this is so incredibly typical for me. The first time in a long while that I haven't had to go through any rewrites or anything, and I have no time to write! I've had so many projects, quizzes, and tests lately...argh. Evil, evil school.

Alright - as you guys have probably already noticed from the scrollbar, this chapter's short, about the same length as Chapter 16. Sorry 'bout that, but for some reason or other I find it impossible to write long chapters. Sorry! Oh, and also - a few of you noticed Peter's absence in Chapter 20 - the reason for that'll be explained in the responses. However, I felt rather guilty after reading your reviews, so I tried to be a bit nicer to Peter here. I don't actually think he's evil yet, but, like almost every other marauder-era ff writer, I'm prejudiced against him. Sorry - can't help it. And no, this is not one of my best chapters, but I've been crammed for time lately. Sorry!

The inspiration for this chapter came from a really brilliant picture I found at Maleficium, which is (in my opinion) one of the best Marauder-inspired art sites out there. Absolutely brilliant stuff. Anyway, I saw the picture "Sirius the Snowball King" there a while ago and for some reason or other became absolutely infatuated with it (probably 'cause of Remus - hehe). So, anyway, the scene is totally Tina's, not mine. I repeat - the snowball scene comes from Tina's pic.

Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is JK Rowling's, and the snowball fight part is inspired by Tina's "Sirius the Snowball King" picture.

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 21

"Where is he?!" said Sirius exasperatedly, jumping up to try and see over the heads of the crowd. "We've been waiting for at least half and hour...."

"Maybe he got sick and died over break." suggested James, grinning.

Remus rolled his eyes, while Sirius laughed. "Or maybe he was eaten by a rampaging kneazle...."

"Or," said James, sniggering, "Maybe he –"

"Hullo, guys." interrupted Peter, panting slightly as he dragged his trunk behind him.

"_HE'S **ALIVE!**_" shrieked Sirius, throwing himself onto the shoulder of an exceptionally bewildered Peter and heaving large, theatric sobs as the entire Hall turned to look at them. "_We thought...kneazles...bloody ceremonial sacrifice...._"

Peter's face was glowing crimson now, while James was doubled over with silent laughter and Remus looked as though he were seriously questioning his friends' sanity.

"Lovely to see you again, Peter." said Remus, prying Sirius off of him and attempting to smile reassuringly at several second year Hufflepuff girls who were backing slowly away from them, staring at Sirius as though they thought he was insane. "Really...lovely...."

"Black! Pettigrew! Lupin! What are you doing?!" Professor McGonagall was striding towards them, her gray eyes flashing irritably.

"He's alive, Professor!" proclaimed Sirius loudly, thrusting Peter forward and beaming. Peter looked mortified.

"What are you talking about, Mr. Black?" asked Professor McGonagall, frowning.

"Over break he was attacked by a herd of rampaging kneazles." said James matter-of-factly.

Professor McGonagall stared at him, and the entire Hall was absolutely still for a moment. The silence was broken by Peter, who said, rather confusedly, "Er...what's a kneazle?"

:::

"Detention!" fumed Sirius, chucking his cleaning rag across the room and narrowly avoiding hitting Professor Mithuna, their currently-sleeping astronomy teacher, in the head. "Ruining a perfect Sunday afternoon...all because Peter had a severely deprived childhood and never learned what a kneazle was...."

"What exactly are we supposed to be doing up here, anyway?" asked James, staring around the cluttered room, at the star charts that covered every visible surface, with a sorrowful expression on his face. (The waste of valuable Snivellus-torturing time was clearly paining him).

"According to Professor McGonagall we are supposed to be 'assisting Professor Mithuna in organizing his office.'" said Remus, who had cleared a large window seat and was sitting curled up there, thoroughly engrossed in an enormous book entitled _Ye Olde Booke of Lunagraphy_. "Rubbish." he muttered, snapping it shut and tossing it aside. "'A new phase every forty days'... more like every twenty...."

A familiar, mischievous glint was starting to shine in James' eyes. "Reckon he's really fast asleep?" he said, walking around to Professor Mithuna, who was sleeping in a stiff-looking armchair behind his desk, and poking him sharply in the head. Mithuna gave a low, grunting snore and, his head lolling back, began to drool. James grinned. "Brilliant." Turning to Sirius, Remus, and Peter, he clapped his hands and said briskly "Right, then – time to get to more important things."

"Such as?" asked Remus, who was digging through a large, musty bookshelf. James rolled his eyes.

"You know, considering how prefect-ish you can get, it's amazing how thick you are sometimes." Remus rolled his eyes, though, as his head was still buried in the bookcase, nobody noticed this.

"Right!" continued James cheerfully, turning to the heavy oak door and yanking it open. "So – all we've got to do is sneak down to the Great Hall, outside, and across the grounds to the edge of the Forest without being seen."

"We're going outside?!" squeaked Peter, sounding distressed. "But...we can't! It's freezing, and it snowed yesterday, and, and –"

"And that, Peter my friend," interrupted Sirius solemnly, thrusting Peter forward and grinning, "Is exactly why we are going."

:::

"Why is it," grumbled Remus, shaking snow out of his hair and looking rather disgruntled, "That every time one of you has some new insane idea I get forcibly dragged into it?"

"It's for your own good, Remus." said Sirius gravely. "The way you're carrying on you'll be made a prefect."

"And that's a bad thing?" asked Remus, rather pertly. Sirius and James looked astonished that he would even suggest such a thing.

"_Prefect_? You _want_ to be a prefect? That's, that's...." Sirius fumbled, trying to find words fit to describe such an outrage.

"Um...," interrupted Peter nervously. "We're not, er, actually going _into_ the Forest, are we?" They had stopped a few yards away from the outermost trees, next to a particularly large snowdrift that was just within sight of Hagrid's hut.

"No." said Remus firmly, before Sirius or James could say anything. "We are _not _going into the Forest."

"Oh, stop worrying, Professor Remus." said James, grinning. "We weren't planning on it – we have to be back to the castle in time for dinner, anyway." His eyes adopted a rather glazed look, and Sirius, apparently deciding that it was his sworn duty to shake him out of it, shoved him headfirst into the snowdrift.

"_ACK! **BLACK!**_"

Sirius grinned. "Yes, oh treasured-friend-of-mine?"

"_THIS MEANS WAR, BLACK!_"

Sirius adopted a mournful, resigned look, though his eyes were still dancing mischievously. "Oh, very well, then...the prefect's with me, though."

"What?! I – _argh_!" Sirius laughed, having just pulled Remus in front of him as a makeshift shield against James' snowball, and said delightedly "Come, Professor Remus – we shall make them rue the day they ever decided to challenge _us_!"

:::

"Surrender, Pettigrew!" cried Sirius, adopting a heroic pose as he stood atop their makeshift snow battlements, taking careful aim at James' head.

"Ignore him, Peter!" shouted James, ducking as Sirius' snowball went soaring over his head. "We shall prevail...!"

He threw a snowball right at Sirius, who yelped and toppled over sideways, so that it hit Remus instead. "Why is it," asked Remus wryly, wiping snow out of his eye, "That every one aimed for you inevitably hits me instead?"

"You must fight, Remus – fight these cowardly Gryffindor imposters!" said Sirius, his voice full of triumphant bravado, though he was struggling not to laugh. "These boneless usurpers...!" Remus rolled his eyes.

"You're insane." he said flatly, shaking the snow off of his robes. "Both of you – insane."

"_You're _the one who wanted to be prefect."

"I did _not_ –" He was interrupted as a large, rather lopsided snowball thrown by Peter whacked him in the side of the head.

Sirius let out a snort of laughter, while Peter said excitedly "I hit him! I hit him!" Remus shook his head, looking severely disgruntled.

"How is it that no one's hit you yet?" he asked Sirius, sounding rather annoyed. Sirius laughed.

"Avenge yourself, Professor Remus! Wallop him!"

"I told you already, oh mighty and all-powerful snow-king, that I –" He was cut off as another projectile, this one thrown by James, hit him in the middle of the forehead.

James and Peter high-fived. "Ha – 37 to 15, Black! Surrend – aah!" James threw himself backwards, laughing, as Remus, who appeared to have finally cracked, hurled a snowball right at his head. He stood up, still sniggering, but was interrupted by a loud, angry "Ahem!"

Sirius and James both looked as though they were struggling not to laugh at the look on Remus' face. Professor McGonagall was standing a few feet away from them, a livid expression on her face as she wiped snow off of her square-rimmed glasses.

Remus smiled weakly. "Er, hello, Professor...."

* * *

_A/N_ - You know, I think it's a bad thing when your author's notes are almost as long as the story. Sigh. Sorry about the length of this chappie - like I said above, I'm better at writing short than long. And now, on to replying to reviews! : ) 

**Celebrean** - lol. Well, she wouldn't have saved 'em if she'd had any other choice. Thanks for reviewing!

**dobbyfan18** - Yay, I'm on your favorites list! Still. : ) Thanks, as always, for reviewing.

**lilroxyn03** - Wow. Now I feel so incredibly guilty...eek! I'M SORRY! I assumed that 'cause you left a review on chapter 1 that you'd only read that far...sorry! I really, really am! And keep updating your story - you haven't updated since I last read it! Makes me sad : (

**Padfoot692** - Hey - thanks for reviewing again! Glad you liked the christmas carols - they were fun to write. As for your questions...well, to answer the first one, you must first understand that I am an incredibly evil, conniving ff writer who holds a grudge against Peter even though I don't think he's done anything wrong (yet). The reason Peter was not in Chapter 20 is that, quite simply, he was not at Hogwarts. As you may remember from Chapter 18 he didn't touch the parchment/portkey, and so thus didn't go to Grimmauld Place. James, Sirius, and Remus were caught while coming back from Grimmauld Place, and as punishment had to stay at Hogwarts over break. Peter wasn't out of bounds, wasn't punished, and thus didn't have to stay. Evil, I know, but hey, it got rid of him for 3 chappies. As for your second question...now, do you really want me to answer that? lol. You'll notice that I put a clue for the Maruaders in on this chapter - it yet remains to see if they'll string all the clues together : )

**eagle** - Hello! Yeah, I know what you mean with the numbers, but I think it'll only confuse people more if I change them to match. Thanks for reviewing : )

**Redluxx** - You want me to write the lyrics to "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs"?! lol - no, trust me, you don't want to see me attempt to write a song. Glad you think the characters are all in character - I just love it when someone leaves a review and says that : ) Time for you to update now!

**Misthea -** I was getting rather afraid you weren't going to review this chapter : ) Yes, I'm afraid James and Sirius were rather embarrased being rescued by her...but hey, they can't be mortal enemies _all_ of the time. : ) Thanks for reviewing this and Death is Nothing - you have no idea how much I appreciate it! Hope I didn't make you late to work : )

**Midgee Dumbledore** - Wow - I left you hanging on that one? And here I was priding myself on not leaving a cliffhanger...sorry! : )

Wow - lots of reviews! Thanks everybody, and _please_ review this chapter too! I'll get chappie 22 out sooner if you do : )

Bye!


	23. Chapter 22

_A/N_ - Er...hey, everybody! I'm really, really, really, REALLY sorry this chapter took so long to post. I actually do have a nice, long list of reasons why I couldn't get it up sooner...however, for some reason or other I'm getting the feeling that you'd rather read than listen to me list off excuses, so... : )

Oh, one more thing - I had major writer's block for this chapter, and my muse seemed to have died off. So, this chapter ended up being one of the ones that writes itself, if you know what I mean.Whenever that happens to me the chapters inevitably turn out rather...strange. Not bad, persay, but strange. And short. : (

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 22

"You know, Professor, there really is a very good explanation for all of this." said Sirius, grinning as he and James dragged a still ashen-faced Remus after Professor McGonagall.

Her nostrils flared. "I seriously doubt that, Mr. Black."

"No, really!" he said, trying not to laugh. "See, we were helping Professor Mithuna clean his office when, er, Snivellus climbed through the window and, um, poisoned him. So we were going down to the Forest when, um, _Evans_ materialized out of nowhere and cursed Peter and James to, er, attack –"

"That is quite enough, Mr. Black." said Professor McGonagall sharply. They had reached the door to Professor Mithuna's office – yanking on the huge brass doorknob, Professor McGonagall wrenched the door open and strode inside, glowering at James, Sirius, Remus and Peter until they followed her in.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat, and Professor Mithuna woke with a start. "Whusit?" he asked blearily, rubbing his eyes and looking around. "'S time fur 'tention?"

Sirius began to snigger loudly, and James, who, for once, was managing to keep a fairly straight face, had to elbow him sharply in the ribs. "Actually, Professor Mithuna," said Professor McGonagall through gritted teeth, "I was hoping you could explain something to me. Such as _how_, exactly, the four students you were supposed to have been watching were found in the middle of a snowball fight on the edge of the Forbidden Forest?"

"Er…"

"I told you, Professor, Snivellus –"

"_Quiet_, Mr. Black."

"But –"

"**_Quiet!_**" She glared at Sirius and James, then turned back to Professor Mithuna, who looked as though he had been dearly hoping that she would believe whatever it was Sirius had been telling her. "Well?" she asked imperiously.

"Um…"

"Perhaps," she said, her face growing steadily redder, "I can offer some explanation. While you were sleeping Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew decided they would rather bludgeon each other with snow than serve detention. They then proceeded to –"

"Now Professor, do you honestly think we would do any such thing?" asked Sirius, looking up at her innocently. "We would not have left if Professor Mithuna's life wasn't hanging in the balance!"

"Whut?! 'Old on…"

"**_QUIET!_**" shouted Professor McGonagall, her fists clenched and her eyes flashing hysterically. Sirius fell silent at once, looking rather awe-struck. "_Now_," she continued, glaring at Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter, "_Explain to me –_"

"**_THESTRALS!_**" screeched Sirius suddenly, pointing at the window. "_THESTRALS ARE ATTACKING THE CASTLE!_" Professor McGonagall and Professor Mithuna whirled around, looking momentarily bewildered – grinning delightedly, Sirius threw the door open and sprinted from the room, James, Remus, and Peter close on his heels.

"McGonagall's going to _kill_ us when she finds us." said James, peering out from behind a large statue of Adalbert the Arrogant.

"Hah! Like she could ever catch _us._" said Sirius, a triumphant grin on his face as he brandished his wand theatrically. "The Marauders shall –"

"They're hiding somewhere along here, nasty snotty little brats that they are, my precious. Oh, when we find them they will regret it…leave 'em hanging by their thumbs for a week…"

"Filch!" squeaked Peter, sounding terrified.

"Of course it's Filch." said Remus – he was leaning back against the stone wall and looked as though he were torn between annoyance and despair. "Skiving off detention, hitting Professor McGonagall in the forehead, running away from McGonagall and Mithuna – of course now we have to meet the one possible person that could make this day any worse…"

"They won't be able to run this time, oh no my precious, because Dumbledore'll be wantin' to see them, and then they're coming to us…"

James pulled his head back behind the statue hurriedly as Mrs. Norris, a rather flea-bitten and scruffy-looking kitten Filch had gotten several weeks prior, trotted over towards the statue, mewling plaintively. She peered up at James, yellow eyes narrowing, and bit down sharply on his leg.

"_Argh! Get off me, you stupid cat!_" hissed James, trying to shake her off his leg and simultaneously avoid the notice of Filch. Sirius sniggered, stuffing his fist in his mouth as Filch hobbled closer. "_Rangy piece of moth-eaten – gotcha!_" With one final, desperate meow Mrs. Norris soared off his pant leg and through the air, colliding with the opposite wall and sliding to the floor with a solid thump. She staggered to her feet, her eyes looking rather crossed as she lurched back towards James, apparently still intent on gnawing off his leg.

"Mrs. Norris!" cried Filch, sounding grief-stricken as his cat wobble back towards the statue. "What have they done to you?!"

"Time to run again, you reckon?" asked Sirius – he looked as though it was costing him a great deal of effort to keep from laughing.

"Well," muttered James, leaning backwards and nearly toppling over onto Remus, "Seeing as how he's nearly a foot from me now, I'd say that'd be a good idea…."

"You do know that we're going to be caught eventually, don't you?" said Remus, standing up.

"_Not_ by Filch we aren't." said Sirius, looking revolted at the idea. "I dunno 'bout you, but I don't fancy hanging by my toenails in the dungeon for a month…."

"W-what…"

"Right then!" said Sirius cheerfully, edging around Peter to the other side of the statue. "On the count of three we head to the Kitchens. On, two, thr–"

As though sensing that her prey was abut to flee, Mrs. Norris gave one final, desperate yowl – launching herself through the air, she landed on James' cloak and dug her claws in firmly, hissing triumphantly at him as Filch appeared on the other side of the statue, his eyes narrowing victoriously. "_Hah!_ Thought you could hide from me, eh? I'll teach you better soon, you –"

"RUN!" shrieked Sirius, sprinting out from behind the statue, a delighted grin plastered across his face and Peter, wheezing, close on his heels. Remus, a look of impending doom on his face, darted out after them, narrowly avoided crashing into Sirius, who had skidded to a sudden stop to avoid smashing into a wall, and James sprinted out last, Mrs. Norris still hanging desperately onto his cloak and yowling furiously.

"_Get **off** of me, you stupid, flea-bitten, scruffy_ –"

"Mrs. Norris!" howled Filch, hobbling after them as fast as he could.

Mrs. Norris, her tawny eyes still narrowed wrathfully, began to slide down James' cloak, huge claw-marks ripping through the fabric as she continued to howl desperately.

Remus arched an eyebrow quizzically as he turned his head around to look at James. "Er…you do know there's a cat hanging off your cloak, don't you?"

"**_MRS. NORRIS!_**"

"No, really?" said James sarcastically, sliding to the left to avoid crashing into a pair of third-year Ravenclaw girls, both of whom looked rather shocked to see the caretaker's cat dangling from the edge of his cloak. "Filch is going to _kill_ us…,"

"No, Filch is going to kill _you_." corrected Remus, who couldn't help but grin slightly as James glared at him. "Well, you're the one who absconded with his cat, not us…."

"Ahem."

Remus turned back around and, a second later, skidded to a sudden halt. Professor McGonagall was standing a few feet ahead of him, her eyes flashing lividly. Remus could see Sirius and Peter standing right behind her – Peter had a look on his face suggesting imminent torture, while Sirius was grinning widely, as though this whole escapade was his idea of a brilliant adventure.

Trying to decide how best to kill James and Sirius once they got out of this, Remus attempted to smile charmingly at his Transfiguration teacher. "Er, fancy seeing you here, Professor…,"

::::: 2 weeks later :::::

Remus groaned, flopping backwards onto his bed and closing his eyes. "That's it. I am through with your crazy, demented schemes."

"My schemes aren't crazy!" said Sirius, sounding insulted that Remus would suggest any such thing. "They are merely genius plans with a tendency to backfire."

Remus didn't bother answering as he heard James and Peter enter the dormitory. "Well," said James cheerfully, hopping up to sit cross-legged on his bed, "Now that we're through with the two weeks of detention and most of the house has forgotten who caused Gryffindor to lose 100 points, what're we –"

Remus moaned again and pulled a pillow up over his head. "Would it be so impossible," he said, his voice muffled, "To actually stay _out_ of trouble for a while?"

"But that would be _boring_." said James, sounding disgusted at the thought. "And exceptionally un-Marauderish. Besides," he added, grinning, "We wouldn't want Snivellus to go unchecked in his reign of terror on the students, would we Remmie?"

Remus sat up and chucked the pillow at James, who ducked, laughing. "Why I ever became friends with you in the first place…." Remus muttered darkly, though his mouth was twitching.

Sirius laughed. "Well, we are such kind, endearing, charismatic, law-abiding fellows…"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Forget I asked."

* * *

_A/N_ - hehe - poor Remmie's having a pretty bad day, isn't he? lol. Hope you enjoyed that chapter at least somewhat, and aren't TOO angry for the long wait...I am really sorry about that, by the way. : ( 

Um, before anybody asks...I actually do like cats quitebit, but the chance to have somebody have a clear shot at Mrs. Norris like that was too great to pass up. ::grins::

**Misthea** - lol. Yeah, my little brother does that to me too. It just snowed for the first time this winter yesterday...::glances nervously between little brother, who's playing computer games, and the 5 inches of snow outside::. I'm SO sorry this chapter took so long! : (

**dobbyfan18** - lol. I'll take that as a compliment : )

**Celebrean** - Er...glad you liked it. lol.

**brenngt14** - well, hopefully this chapter satsified your Siri-craving. Personally my favorite is Remmie, but I love how the 2 of them interact, so you'll be seeing a LOT of them in the story. Peter, on theother hand...lol.

**hikki116** - yeah, I get a lot of weird looks from my family when I read ff. : )

**nine-potter** - Dutch? lol - no, I'm American, but you are REALLY observant! A lot of the time when I'm making up spells I don't feel like going up to my room to get my Latin-English dictionary, so I use the computer translator instead. Thus words like Cattivo (italian for evil), etc. : )

**YoshimiWolfspaw** - Thanks!

Okay...I'm pretty sure I got everyone...thank you so much for being patient! I have a pretty clear idea of what I'm going to do for the next chapter, so HOPEFULLY that won't take too long : )

Also, in case anybody was wondering why the other story got updated before this...I already had those two chapters written, and all they needed was a bit of polishing before they were done. : )

So anyways...please review, tell me what you think, and keep your fingers crossed that the next chapter will come sooner. Bye!


	24. Chapter 23

_A/N_ – Er...hey...miss me:grins weakly: Yeah...been a bit busy lately...but between homework, tests, family, computer problems, homework, school 'til four, five, or six every night, and, oh yes, _homework_, I really haven't had all that much time to write. Then there was the small problem of losing the beginning of the chapter, and having complete computer shutdown...but, all excuses aside, I"M SORRY: ( I really, really am. But anyways, here it is, the long-expected, long-awaited...Valentine's Day chapter! Yay: )

**_IMPORTANT - _**Two quick things I want to say before you read this chapter – anyone remember Lily anymore? No, didn't think so…well, she's the fluffy white dragon that Sirius and James somehow managed to create back in chapter 5. And this chapter takes place on February 13th (the day before Valentine's Day). Thanks **_sooo _**much for your patience (Patience, you say? What patience? ;)), and hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Chapter 23

_February 13th_

"Brilliant." said Sirius proudly, stepping back and crossing his arms to admire his handiwork. Peter edged around him, frowning in confusion.

"Um, Sirius?" he said cautiously, furrowing his eyes, "It doesn't look any different."

"The wards are invisible, Peter." said Remus patiently, before Sirius could respond. "You can't see them."

"Are you sure?" said Peter, looking between Sirius and the door. "The ward I cast on the snack stash wasn't."

"That's because you did it wrong and set the stash on fire." said Sirius, giving the door one last, appreciative glance before bounding over to Remus' trunk. "The many-talented Sirius Black, however, does **not** mess up. Remus, where's the spare parchment?"

"Would it be asking too much to have you use your _own_ parchment for once?" asked Remus, wincing slightly as Sirius dug through his trunk, tossing robes and textbooks aside haphazardly.

"Among the Marauders, Remus, possessions are universal." said Sirius haughtily, finally yanking out a rather crumpled piece of parchment. "Perfect…now for a quill…"

"Does that mean I can borrow your set of gobstones, then?" asked Peter hopefully.

"No. Where's the big eagle feather, Remus, the chewy one...?"

"Bottom left corner." said Remus resignedly. Sirius pulled it out, looking triumphant.

"Brilliant." He flopped down onto Remus' bed, yanking Remus' battered and dog-eared copy of _Magical Drafts and Potions_ towards him and laying the parchment down on it with a flourish. "Alright – time to write some love poetry."

ooooo

_Your hair is as bright as a shiny new quaffle_

_Your eyes are like green pits of slime_

Sirius paused and looked up. "What rhymes with quaffle?"

"Waffle?" offered Peter, who was sitting at the foot of his bed, looking thoroughly confused as Remus tried to explain to him their Transfiguration homework.

"I like waffles." mused Sirius thoughtfully, sucking the end of the quill. "But the question is, how do they do they apply to Lily?"

Remus glanced up from the notes that were spread out across Peter's bed. "James is going to kill you for this, you know."

"Nah, he won't know it was me." said Sirius dismissively. "I'm going to blame Peter."

"What!" yelped Peter, looking a bit frightened. "But I didn't –"

"You came up with 'waffle.'" reminded Sirius, brandishing his quill remonstratingly at him. "So, how does this sound – 'your hair is as bright as –'"

"**_SIRIUS!_**"

"'– a shiny new quaffle,' " continued Sirius, appearing thoroughly unconcerned by the loud banging coming from outside their door, "'Your eyes are like green pits of slime…,'"

"How long are you planning on locking James out?" asked Remus, staring with mild interest at the large wooden door, which was now rattling slightly as James continued to pound on it.

"Until I finish this."

"That long?" asked Peter anxiously.

Sirius glared at him. "Poetry is a _science_, Peter." he said, lowering his voice dramatically. "It is not quite as easy as I make it seem…"

Remus snorted. "You've been working on it for two hours, Sirius."

"Well, you try writing a love poem to _Evans_." said Sirius peevishly. "There's nothing good to say about her!"

"You haven't seemed to mind insulting her so far." said Remus, stretching. "Now can we please open the door; I'm starting to get a headache…"

"And let James in? No. And, for your information, my poem is lovely and complimenting. Quaffles are red, her hair is red. Slime is green, her eyes are green. They're beautiful whatever-you-call-em's."

"Metaphors?"

"Exactly. Beautiful, romantic metaphors."

"Right."

"Well, you try then!" said Sirius, annoyed. He wadded up the piece of parchment and threw it at Remus – Remus ducked, grinning, and it went soaring past his head, colliding with Lily's cage, which was perched precariously on the edge of a spare chair. Lily it seemed, had been attempting to sleep, and with a furious squawk she woke up, batting her wings furiously against her cage and screeching indignantly. Sirius winced, covering his ears with his hands and glaring at her. "Annoying, screechy, useless…" His voice trailed off suddenly, and then, without warning, he bounded off of Remus' bed, dashing over to Lily's cage.

"Um, Sirius?" asked Peter nervously, watching with wide eyes as Sirius stuck his hand into Lily's cage, trying to wrest the scrap of parchment from her, "What exactly are you doing?"

"What – does it look – like I'm doing!" hissed Sirius, his eyes narrowed as he grappled furiously with Lily, who had somehow managed to get the parchment stuck in her mouth and was whipping her head about furiously, screeching shrilly and biting down sharply on Sirius' hand when he tried to grab it from her. "I – _ouch!_ – am trying – to get the parchment – _argh!_ – away from – the bloody dragon!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Accio parchment." Now looking sorely woe-begotten, the soggy, balled-up beginning of Sirius' poem obediently wrenched itself free of Lily's mouth and soared lifelessly into Remus' hand. Remus wrinkled his nose, staring at it with obvious disgust.

"Stupid…brainless… annoying… dra- where'd the parchment go?" Sirius stared around in obvious bewilderment, forgetting to pull his hand out of Lily's cage and yelping as Lily sunk her teeth into it again. Remus sighed.

"Many-talented genius, hmm?" he said, flinging the squelchy, foul-smelling wad of parchment at Sirius and looking very glad to be rid of it.

"Many-talented _dragon-slaying_ genius." corrected Sirius loftily, making a great show of wrapping his apparently bleeding right hand in James' spare Montrose Magpies' pillowcase.

Remus, clearly deciding it was better not to say anything to this, looked out the window and began to hum under his breath, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Peter, however, stared at Sirius in confusion. "Doesn't slay mean _kill_?" he asked uncertainly. Remus let out a snort of laughter which quickly turned into a suspicious-sounding bout of coughing – Sirius ignored both of them and, flopping down next to Peter, laid down the parchment and began to scribble furiously.

"Done!" he said triumphantly, jumping to his feet. "I – **_agh!_**" He lost his balance, and, arms flailing wildly, toppled off of Peter's bed. "I'm done with it!" he finished brightly, rubbing his head where he had bashed it against Remus' still-open trunk. "Want to hear it?"

"No, not really." yawned Remus. Peter, however, was wringing his hands anxiously.

"You didn't use waffle, did you?" he asked worriedly. Sirius smirked.

"Being the incredibly talented poetic genius that I am…no."

"Oh, good." said Peter, sounding relieved. "Then you aren't going to blame me?"

"Did I say that?" asked Sirius indignantly. "Of course I'm still going to blame you…now, do you want to hear it or not?" Remus and Peter glanced at each other – a moment later they leapt simultaneously from the bed towards the door, a look of mutual resolve on their faces.

"Petrificus totalus!" said Sirius, sounding rather annoyed. Both fell to the ground with a crash – flipping over Peter, who had fallen flat on his face, Sirius hopped up onto the nearest bed and, clearing his throat, began to read. "'Your hair is as red as a shiny new quaffle…'"

ooooo

"You didn't let me in last night because you were studying for an _astronomy_ test?" said James disbelievingly, his eyes narrowed as he gazed over the flagon of orange juice at Sirius and Peter. "We don't have an astronomy test until next _month_."

"We don't?" said Peter blankly.

"No," said James, turning his head to glare at Remus, who was sitting next to him, "We don't." Remus shrugged.

"Don't look at me, it was his idea." he yawned, waving a half-buttered piece of toast at Sirius.

"_What_ was his idea!" asked James impatiently. Remus opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by Sirius.

"Nothing, nothing." said Sirius airily, glaring covertly at Remus. "Nothing you won't, ah, find out in a minute or so…"

"But I thought we're having an astronomy test next week!" said Peter anxiously, his face turning slightly green. Everyone ignored him.

"Have I mentioned," continued James, his voice becoming somewhat muffled as he stuffed a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, "That I _really_ don't like any of you?"

"Yep," said Sirius cheerfully, looking upwards as hundreds of owls streamed into the Great Hall.

"Twice now." added Remus, grinning as he glanced over at Lily, who was sitting three seats away from them. "Er, Sirius…"

"What?" asked Sirius, sounding slightly annoyed; following Remus' gaze, he broke into a wide grin. "Ah…brilliant…"

Three seats away, a large, fluffy, hot pink owl had landed in front of Lily Evans, something resembling a limp, jet black ferret held firmly in its beak. It hooted once, dropping its parcel on the plate of Lily's friend (who promptly screamed and leapt off her seat, crashing into a passing Slytherin), and took off again. Immediately the entire table fell silent, staring at Lily – who, for her part, looked rather bewildered. A second later, however, her eyes narrowed, and she turned to glare at Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter.

"What is –" she began, but was drowned out as everyone nearby gasped. What had at first appeared to be a dead black ferret was now slowly unfolding itself and standing up, and, were it not for the large, neon pink scrawl across it which said (in rather messy handwriting that everyone recognized as Sirius') "Snuffles", would have resembled a small black pillowcase on stilts.

Lily froze, James froze, Sirius laughed, and Remus and Peter braced themselves as "Snuffles" cleared his throat. Now standing fully on its two thin, twig-like legs, it took an awkward step forward…and promptly fell over. Grabbing onto a nearby glass of orange juice, it pulled itself to its feet and took another valiant step…but, once again, without avail.

Finally, after five minutes, the now bacon-and-egg-covered "Snuffles" reached Lily's plate. It cleared its throat again, causing Peter to squeak and cover his ears with his hands – Remus, apparently seeing the wisdom in this, shortly followed suit.

"Ladies and gentlemen," cried "Snuffles", in a voice that everyone nearby recognized as Sirius' bad attempt at a French accent, "It is vith great joy and love zat I dedicate zis poem to ze, er, _beautiful_, and, eh, _vonderful_ madam, Lily Evans, on ze behalf of ze _great_ and _noble_ gentleman, Mister Potter." Lily choked as "Snuffles" bowed, nearly falling over onto a plate of sausages. "So, vithout further ado…"

"_Your hair is as red as a shiny new quaffle_

"_Your eyes are like green pits of slime_

"_You're annoying and screechy and make me feel queasy_

"_Oh darling I vish you vere **MINE!**"_

And, with one last, flourishing bow, "Snuffles" crumpled into a heap and was silent. For a long moment nobody said anything – and then, simultaneously, the entire table erupted in laughter.

Lily, her cheeks burning and her eyes flashing dangerously, whipped around to glare at Sirius, who was sniggering heartily, and James, who appeared completely thunderstruck. "_You…,_" she snarled – a second later she leapt from her chair, her eyes gleaming with a sort of maniacal pleasure as she flew into Sirius and knocked him off of his seat.

"But, Evans, didn't you hear Snuffles?" choked Sirius, still laughing uncontrollably even while Lily was attempting to strangle him. "It 'vas ze _vonderful_ Mister Potter, not ze _lowly_ Mister Black…!'"

* * *

_A/N_ - Hehe...If I were James I'd be in there helping Lily right now... You know, I think that's the first chapter in a while that I've actually liked. Weird. But I think James is definately in need of some payback now...:grins and cackles evilly:

Alright, on to my kind, patient reviewers! I love you guys:hugs:

**Misthea** - Don't worry, I have absolutely no intention of just letting this story go (although it is starting to wrap-up, as you may have noticed). You're right, having Sirius asa student would be _awful_. :grins: . Poor Jamsie now, I think. Glad you liked the cat bit, and, as always, thanks for reviewing!

**Spork Princess** - Wow...your name-changing has really gotten me confused. First Celebrean, then Viresse Lotte, then Spork Princess...argh! But, anywho, I'm glad you found it...amusing... ;)

**brennQT** - A serious Sirius? lol - nope, don't think you're going to be seeing that very soon. And rambling is good! lol.

**hikki116** - lol. Ah, yes - the joys of friendship... :laughs:

**fidget** - Yay, it's Fidge! Wow, we haven't talked in...forever...oh, you're reading the beginning chapters:ducks head and hides in embarassment:. Yeah, I hate those chapters now...but anyways, about your question - the screams/howls were caused by **Remus**, not James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus had already been in the Shack once by the time the four went exploring, so the villagers would've already heard the screams. Thanks for reviewing:hugs:

**julia** :sigh: Yeah, I know my Lily acts like Hermione...I'm just not quite sure how to characterize her. Hopefully she was slightly better in this chapter : ).

Alrighty - thank you everyone! I hope you liked the chapter, and expect the next one...sometime in the distant future...

Bye!


End file.
